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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468259">A Study In Suit</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenintostars/pseuds/lowkeyorloki'>lowkeyorloki (writtenintostars)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(at times), 18+, 18+ ONLY, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Light Angst, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Oral Sex, Possessive Loki (Marvel), Praise Kink, Professor Laufeyson, Professor Loki, Professor! Laufeyson, Professor! Laufeyson AU, Professor! Loki, Professor! Loki AU, Size Kink, Smut, Spanking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:53:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>62,642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtenintostars/pseuds/lowkeyorloki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You've worked too damn hard to get into Professor Laufeyson's course, and you're not about to let your pesky attraction to him get in the way. Your Professor, however, has other plans...</p><p>*Updates every other Thursday*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Loki/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1098</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey all! I'm super excited to be starting this new story. I haven't decided on an update day yet, but I'm thinking it'll be sometime in the middle of the week. We could all use a pick-me-up then!</p><p>If you prefer to read this on Tumblr, you can do so @ thelokiimaginechronicles! I have quite the masterlist over there as well, and you're welcome to check it out.</p><p>A quick note: this chapter talks about a book. It's about as in-depth as we'll get with that aspect. I just had to get the ball rolling, you know?</p><p>Alright, happy reading! Be sure to let me know what you think ^.^</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which it begins.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You didn’t want to admit that being in Professor Laufeyson’s class was the biggest accomplishment of your life. That seemed stupid, ridiculous even. Sure, it was the hardest English course your university had to offer, and sure, you had gotten in even though students your age weren’t usually permitted. And yes, you have maintained an “A” so far in spite of that, thank you very much.</p><p>Maybe it wasn’t the biggest accomplishment of your life, but it was one of them for sure. Right up there with getting into this university in the first place, winning that one bet with your fifth grade best friend…</p><p>More recently, not completely losing your composure as Professor Laufeyson leaned over you.</p><p>“Dehumanization of women in <em> 1984 </em>.” he reads from a very, very messy outline in your notes. His breath just barely tickles your neck. If this was any other professor, you would jerk away from the closeness. But this was Professor Laufeyson, with his tailored suits and slicked back hair. You respected, for lack of a better term, the absolute shit out Professor Laufeyson. You had already learned more in his class than all your years at college combined, and were exposed to ways of thinking you never would have considered had you not taken this course.</p><p>Despite that, like so many others, you weren’t immune to his charm. You felt your heart beat faster as your professor’s body lingered over your shoulder, waiting for a response. You pull back slightly so you can meet his eyes.</p><p>“I know it’s not a super original take.” you say, a bit of uncertainty creeping into your voice. “But it’s something I feel strongly about. This is the fourth time I’ve read the book, and I dislike it more each time.” you pause, suddenly worrying it may seem like you’re criticizing Professor Laufeyson’s materials list. “Not that I’m upset I had to read it again.” you begin to stutter. Professor Laufeyson steps away and towards an empty desk, leaning against it and folding one long leg over the other. </p><p>“It’s quite alright.” he says, smirking. Silently, you breathe a sigh of relief. The man is smirking, clicking his ballpoint pen slowly. You sigh in exasperation: he was bantering with you. “<em> 1984 </em> is not my novel, after all.” he explains. “You’re taking a risk, though. You don’t think the book should be taught in schools?” you blink in surprise. How had the man managed to read your notes so fast?</p><p>“High schools.” you correct him. “I don’t think it should be taught in high schools.”</p><p>“Why’s that?” Professor Laufeyson challenges you. The students around you begin to listen in. You feel your face heat up.</p><p>“Because Winston is never explicitly stated to be a bad person. Not in regards to his views on women, at least.”</p><p>“That’s nothing a little critical thought can’t fix.”</p><p>“Critical thought? In seventeen year olds?” you scoff, and Professor Laufeyson cocks an eyebrow at you. You clear your throat. “With the language Winston uses, that’s not a risk I think the public schools should take, professor.”</p><p>Your professor has stopped clicking his pen, looking down at you with dark eyes. He’s quiet for just a bit too long, making you acutely aware of the rest of the class watching you. </p><p>“And what will make your argument so different? You said it yourself, your criticism isn’t a new one. What will make your paper stand out to me?” Professor Laufeyson’s tongue is tapping his teeth, like he’s amused. That, among other things the sight makes you think of, makes you squirm in your seat.</p><p>This was what you liked about this class. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you prepare to continue the conversation.</p><p>“Perspective. Experience.” you shrug. “I remember what it was like reading this when I was that young. It’s not a hypothetical to me. It was a real experience.” you finish. Professor Laufeyson nods, his brow slightly furrowed as he takes in your words.</p><p>“I thought seventeen year olds don’t have critical thought. Or were you just the exception?” a laugh ripples around the classroom.</p><p>Well, shit. How were you supposed to answer that? You lean forward, crossing your arms over the desk.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter if I had it then, sir. I’d like to think I’ve got it now.” is what you decide to go with. Something about Professor Laufeyson’s posture changes, and he lets out a low chuckle. </p><p>“I suppose so.” he stands up, walking towards his desk. “I’m looking forward to reading your essay. You have yet to disappoint me.”</p><p>Pride swells in your chest at your professor’s praise. You pick your pencil back up, hoping to work more on your outline, but you can’t do anything more than doodle for the rest of class. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>“You have yet to disappoint me.” Natasha proclaims. You shush her, but quickly giggle after.</p><p>“Thanks for coming to my defense. You didn’t even try to get the class to stop paying attention to me.” you tease with trace amounts of truth in your words. Obviously, you liked talking to Professor Laufeyson. But you didn’t need, or want, an audience. </p><p>“Please. He was so checking you out. Of course the class was going to watch.”</p><p>“Nat!” you stick an elbow in the redhead’s ribs. “Don’t say that. He’s our professor!”</p><p>“I know that went to your head just now. And why not say it? It’s totally true.” she grins. “Or do you not want me giving you false hope?”</p><p>“Okay, one, everyone thinks Professor Laufeyson is hot. You can stop acting like it’s just me.” Natasha holds up her hands in defeat, admitting you’re right. You continue. “Thank you. And second, I’m more interested in just getting through this class without distractions and with an A. Some of us need those to keep our scholarships, you know.”</p><p>“Okay, okay, point taken.” Natasha concedes. You’re both quiet for a minute as you walk out of the building. “He was checking you out, though.”</p><p>“<em> Nat </em>!”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>That night, you pulled out your notes for Professor Laufeyson’s class, hoping you could get a head start on the essay. You open a new tab on your laptop, signing in quickly and preparing yourself for an all-nighter.</p><p>
  <em> Dehumanization In 1984: How Casual Language Can Create Meaning </em>
</p><p>No, that was a dumb title. You delete it. </p><p>
  <em> Women In 1984: How Julia’s Character Is A Disservice </em>
</p><p>What? You weren’t going to blame the twenty-something year old woman for Winston’s inner monologue. You delete that too.</p><p>Groaning, you lean back in your chair and pinch the bridge of your nose. Why was this hard?! You felt anxious now, knowing your professor would most likely be especially critical of your essay. </p><p>Your professor. You close your eyes, playing back the events from earlier. Despite your best efforts, you think about how Professor Laufeyson’s warm breath felt as his body closed in over yours. How his tongue made multiple appearances when you were talking. You remember the dress shirt your professor had been wearing, how certain buttons seemed to be strained over tight muscles. You wonder if Professor Laufeyson had noticed your own shirt. It was low cut enough, and probably showed off a fair amount of skin, especially once you had leaned forward…</p><p>You snap your eyes open. What were you doing? This was your professor you were thinking about! There was absolutely no way he thought of you like that, and even if he did, he... He…</p><p>Oh, you were in trouble.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Professor Laufeyson lends you his shirt.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Woohoo! I'm back and I have two thrilling announcements:</p><p>1) Thursdays will be update day</p><p>2) I am SO excited to announce my beta from my other Loki fic, "She Shall Have", is coming aboard this project with me! They're seriously one of the coolest people on the internet, and they're here on ao3 @ uquroi. Check them out y'all!</p><p>Okay, that's about it. It was super fun to write this chapter, and I hope you guys feel the same way reading it. Comments are always appreciated, so let me know what you think! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were a lot of things you liked about your university. </p><p>The campus was gorgeous, for one. Despite being a fairly prestigious school, living off-campus was affordable in the area. The professors were some of the best in their fields. </p><p>But your favorite aspect of college might just be the libraries.</p><p>There were three on campus, each with a focus, and you currently had your setup in the one typically frequented by English students. You were on the third floor, which had posters and reminders everywhere you looked that this was the quiet section of the library. Group projects could head back down to the lobby.</p><p>Whenever you can’t focus at your apartment- whether you were scrolling endlessly through your phone or keep getting up to grab a (sad, almost expired) snack from your kitchen, there was always something at home to keep you from work. But not the library. Something about being around other students working and rows and rows of books inspired you.</p><p>And right now, you needed to be inspired. </p><p>Your paper for Professor Laufeyson’s class was getting somewhere, just not fast enough. It wasn’t that you were worried about the due date. You just wanted to give yourself lots of revision time, a good week or two to go through each and every word. Make it perfect. Tailor it to Professor Laufeyson’s taste.</p><p>...Not that you were trying to impress him. You just wanted a good grade, and after class earlier this week, he would be paying more attention than he normally would. You were just taking extra care to remain in the class with a good grade. That was all.</p><p>Tailoring your paper to Professor Laufeyson’s tastes… Your mind wanders, thinking back to your professor’s tongue tapping his teeth.</p><p>“That’s it.” You say out loud. A few heads snap up to glare at you. You shrink down in your seat. Oops.</p><p>You check the time on your computer. 12:30. You have about a half hour until your next class starts. You know you won’t get anywhere if you stay here, so you begin to pack up. There’s a Starbucks in the lobby. That should distract you, and give you a much needed energy boost. You have a lab today, that’s why you dressed in an old sweatshirt and beat up converse. No one important would see you, anyway. It was your only class.</p><p>You make your way down to the student-run Starbucks, quickly ordering and standing to the side. Because the quality here wasn’t really consistent, your orders weren’t either. You usually tried something new each time, always making sure to get your extra hot. You hated lukewarm coffee. </p><p>Your name is called out, and you thank the barista as he slips a sleeve over your drink to hand it to you. As you’re walking out of the building, your phone buzzes. Without thinking, you reach into your back pocket and pull it out. Nat.</p><p>
  <em>Trying 2 focus but Bruce won’t stop grinning at me with a stupid look on his face. He just ate half of my lunch and I LET him. No clue what this means. </em>
</p><p>You let out a small laugh. You weren’t sure how you felt about your two friends maybe possibly conceivably having a thing either, but Bruce would be better for Natasha than most guys on this campus. You begin to tell her that as you make your way through the door, the crisp air causes you to shiver a bit. You’re just about to hit send when -</p><p>Your coffee cup is suddenly knocked from your grasp, and to your horror, it spills directly onto your chest. You let out the stupidest sound you’ve ever heard, something between a whine and gasp of pain as your extra hot latte seeps through your sweatshirt and onto your skin.</p><p>“Fuck!” You curse, unable to stop yourself. You clamp a hand over your mouth, bending over and grabbing your shirt to hold it as far away from your skin as possible. It’s too late. The majority of your coffee is now on your torso, running over your chest and stomach in hot drips that feel like fire. It hurt. Bad.</p><p>“I’m so sorry.” you hear a voice. You nod, not really able to look up just yet, and keep your hand over your mouth so whoever did this can’t hear your chorus of <em> ohmygodohmygodohmygod </em>. You feel a heavy hand on your shoulder. “I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t see you there.”</p><p>Wait a second. You know that voice.</p><p>You look up, absolutely horrified to see Professor Laufeyson watching you with a furrowed brow. But not in amusement or annoyance like you’re used to: worry. Not a ton. He’s looking at you like the pain you’re experiencing is nothing more than, like, a hangnail. But still. He’s worried, and you’ve never seen that on him. </p><p>That, however, isn’t really on your mind right now.</p><p>“It’s fine.” you take your hand away from your mouth. Your voice is strained. You stand up straight, still doing your best to keep your sweatshirt from touching your burning skin. You open your mouth to say more, but shut it, unsure of what to say. </p><p>“You…” Professor Laufeyson eyes the now empty coffee cup on the pavement. “Do you need to go to the health center?”</p><p>“What? Dude, no.” in your frenzied state, you let the informal word slip out. “I’m sorry. No, professor, I don’t need the health center.” They could give you either a bandaid or a condom, neither of which would serve you particularly well right now. </p><p>If your professor is offended by your lack of formality, he doesn’t show it. He clears his throat, and takes his hand off your shoulder. It makes you shudder, the loss of contact.</p><p>“Do you have something you can change into?” he asks evenly. You’re still looking anywhere but him, trying desperately not to think about how much your chest hurts and how much of an idiot you must look like in front of one of the best professors here.</p><p>“No. Professor, I’m fine. I shouldn’t have,” you grit your teeth. Did you really have to get the coffee extra hot? “Shouldn’t have been on my phone.” </p><p>You look at your professor now. He has his own phone in his hand. </p><p>“Ah.” you say. Professor Laufeyson slips it into his pocket. You’re both quiet for a minute, until the man lets out a sharp intake of air. “Well, um… I have class in twenty minutes, professor, and I-”</p><p>“Come with me.” he turns around, and begins walking back down the steps. You don’t move, unsure of what he could be doing. “Come <em> on </em>.” he says, and you listen. It was a demand, one that honestly had intimidated you a little bit, and you find yourself trailing behind him. You cross your arms over the brown stain on your chest as you walk across campus, trying to wrap your head around what’s going on.</p><p>Professor Laufeyson leads you into the English building, nodding at a few passing professors as he does. He stops at an office you’ve never been in, pulling out a key and quickly unlocking the door. He ushers you in.</p><p>“What?” you watch as the professor shuts the door behind you both. The blinds on the windows are closed, and you look around. The room has very little in it, no more than a desk and bookcase with some textbooks and plaques. </p><p>“This is my office.” Professor Laufeyson tells you. “Perhaps you would know if you ever took advantage of office hours.”</p><p>“I’ve never needed to.” you grumble. You turn back to your professor. You can’t tell, but it looks like he may be smiling at your retort. Just a bit. </p><p>“Here.” he approaches you, a large cable knit sweater in his hands. It’s navy. You’ve seen him wear it before. </p><p>“Professor.” you say. “I can’t-”</p><p>“Please.” he interrupts you. “It can’t be good for you to continue wearing that. Just,” he pushes the sweater closer to you. “Take it.”</p><p>You can tell this isn't an argument you’re going to win, and tentatively, you accept the gesture. Professor Laufeyson looks relieved, and turns around so he can’t see you. You feel your heart speed up.</p><p>“You want me to…?”</p><p>“You said you have class, right? Just put it on.” </p><p>“Okay.” you say softly. Professor Laufeyson sounds angry. You drop your bookbag, slowly taking your ruined white sweatshirt off.</p><p>“What class do you have?”</p><p>“Pardon?” </p><p>“I,” Professor Laufeyson clears his throat. “I wonder, what class do you have?” </p><p>You realize this must be your professor’s attempt to make this less… awkward. You swallow.</p><p>“One of Dr. Stark’s labs.” you say. You see Professor Laufeyson’s head cock to the side. His silky hair moves with it. You try not to think about this, about the fact you’re standing shirtless in his office. </p><p>This was so inappropriate. Your angry skin prickles, as if to remind you that even if that was the case, you kind of had no other choice. You start to tug Professor Laufeyson’s sweater over your head.</p><p>“You wore white to a lab?” he asks incredulously. </p><p>“It’s an old sweatshirt.” you finish putting the navy garment on. The sweater is huge, reaching halfway down to your knees. It’s soft, so soft, and actually does something to soothe your skin. Your cheeks heat up at the realization this shirt had been on your professor’s own bare chest. Was it weird to pay attention to that? If it is, you mentally decide to forgive yourself. This whole thing was weird. </p><p>“Alright.” you say in a voice barely above a whisper. Professor Laufeyson faces you again. He looks at you, and you think you see his eyes widen. It was probably just a trick of the light. </p><p>“Well.” Professor Laufeyson checks his watch. “You have two minutes. Would you like me to email Dr. Stark? Explain why you may be late?”</p><p>“Um,” you consider the offer as you stuff your sweatshirt into your bookbag. “I’ll um, see if I need you to do that. I can email you tonight, if you want.”</p><p>“Yes.” he nods. “Please do.” </p><p>“Okay. I’ll just… Go.”</p><p>And you do. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>“You look cute!” says your lab partner as you sit down. Dr. Stark glares at you. You mouth ‘sorry’ at him (it was that kind of class. If you had to be uber formal with Professor Laufeyson, Dr. Stark was the opposite. He tried once to get you to call him Tony. You refused) because you did end up being late. You stopped in the bathroom to make yourself seem more normal. Professor Laufeyson’s sweater had three buttons towards the neck, and you unbuttoned all of them. You did a classic french tuck - because you obviously had seen Queer Eye - and pulled your hair back. It wasn’t perfect, but it made the sweater seem more like yours and less like Professor Laufeyson’s.</p><p>Professor Laufeysons!</p><p>“Thanks.” You say. Wanda beams at you. You’re quickly becoming close, the two of you. Wanda was your age, a transfer student. She was smart, almost painfully so, and didn’t hang around many people. Just you and her brother. </p><p>You feel bad for your new friend as you start and proceed to continually mess up the lab. Your sleeves get in the way a few times, but besides that, you’re just <em> distracted </em>. By the time class is over, you’re desperate to just get back home so you can think. Or process. That was a more accurate term. </p><p>You expect Dr. Stark to call you over to his desk as you file out the door, but he doesn’t. Oh well. That lets you get to your car all the more faster, making some very questionable driving choices as you speed back to your apartment. You practically throw the door open, quickly locking it behind you and looking at yourself in the mirror.</p><p>Unreal. This whole thing, this whole day. You stare at your reflection, at the girl wearing Professor Laufeyson’s perfectly kempt sweater and just shake your head.</p><p>You walk over to your couch, not even bothering to kick off your shoes as you collapse on it. You have homework - a lot of it, you always do. But your eyes are getting heavy. You close them, letting yourself relax for the first time the day. </p><p>You take a deep breath, and you realize that Professor Laufeyson’s shirt smells like him. You didn’t even know he had a smell - how would you? But now, wrapped up in his clothing and in the safety of your living room, you’ve never been more aware of anything. It’s intoxicating, almost, the musky scent of pine and leather. There was a sweeter smell too, vanilla, you think. It’s like Professor Laufeyson is in the room with you. Even better, like he’s laying on the couch with you. You remember his strong hand on your shoulder, and think about how it must feel to be held by a man like him. </p><p>You want to keep imagining, you want to hold onto this, because it’s probably the most exciting thing that’s going to happen to you for awhile. But the exhaustion brought on by shock and pain finally takes its toll, and you slip into sleep before you can even set an alarm.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>You get to Professor Laufeyson’s class somewhat early the next day. You had woken up to an email from him, one that explained he emailed Dr. Stark after all. That explained why you hadn’t been scolded in front of the entire class. You were also told to look into buying some aloe vera.</p><p>There’s no one in the classroom yet except for Professor Laufeyson at his desk. You take a seat in the one you always sit in, taking note of the coffee cup that sits on the corner.</p><p>You eye Professor Laufeyson, but he’s distracted, reading some book with an ornate cover. Or at least pretending to. You snatch the cup, looking at the little check boxes on the side. It’s from Starbucks, and it’s the exact same drink you ordered yesterday, except this time, it’s iced. </p><p>You’re about to say something to your professor, but the rest of the students quickly start to appear, Natasha being one of them. She pouts at you as she sees the coffee.</p><p>“You didn’t tell me you were going somewhere. I would have texted you my order.” she says. You flash her a grin. </p><p>“Sorry.” you apologize. “It was, um, unexpected.” you begin to feel someone’s gaze on you. You turn to Professor Laufeyson, and feels a surge of pride when you see he’s looking back.</p><p>Your eye contact falls quickly as he stands up to begin the class. Your professor pays attention to every student but you for the rest of the period. Normally that would bug you.</p><p>But today, it doesn’t. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to visit me on tumblr @ thelokiimaginechronicles, and stay safe, readers! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part III</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you return Professor Laufeyson's sweater, no matter how much it pains you to do so.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Gahhhh I've been waiting all week to post this! First, I just want to say thank y'all so much for the interest in this story. Every new kudos and comment puts a smile on my face and I'm just so ecited.</p><p>Second, this chapter (Part III) is one of my favorites, however, it is on the shorter side, so I decided to double update today! I hope you enjoy both chapters and let me know what you think. Those comments mean so much!</p><p>Check out my fantastic beta, @ uquroi, and enjoy these chapters :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You would have given Professor Laufeyson the sweater back the day after the coffee incident happened, but you didn’t. You kept it at your house, folded neatly on the couch, in direct contrast to the clothes strewn about the floor of your bedroom. </p><p>The nap you took while wearing his sweater was the deepest and most satisfying sleep you’d had in a long time. You were tempted to sleep in it over the weekend, but you wouldn’t let yourself. It seemed like a violation, somehow, like you would be doing something you weren’t supposed to. You didn’t want to take advantage of Professor Laufeyson’s kindness (or guilt. Or dedication to his students. Whatever it was that made Professor Laufeyson give you the stupid thing, you wanted to have earned it). Instead, you washed it, its own load, with nothing else, and let it air dry. </p><p>And now, here it was, in your bag as you stood outside the professor’s office. He was in there right now, you were sure of it- you had dug out the syllabus and found his office hours (he better not comment on that again. You didn’t need extra help in his class) (yet). </p><p>Unsure of whether to knock or just barge in, you tap your fingers against the wood. You then realize no one on planet Earth could hear something so faint, so you knock again. For real this time. </p><p>“Come in.” you hear. Taking one last deep breath, you turn the handle and walk in, quickly shutting the door behind you. </p><p>“Ah.” Professor Laufeyson greets you by name. “What can I do for you?”</p><p>His eyes practically twinkle, because he knows. You almost laugh. You never would have thought your professor could be such a… such a trickster. </p><p>“I have your sweater.” you say, walking towards the desk Professor Laufeyson is sitting at. You notice there’s a picture frame, and wonder what’s on the other side. Its back is facing you. </p><p>Professor Laufeyson looks at you expectantly. Unsure of whether to hand the piece of clothing to him or set it down on the desk, you choose the latter.</p><p>“I washed it.” you tell him. “So it’s clean, and there are no cooties.” <em> cooties? </em> You mentally slap yourself in the face. </p><p>Professor Laufeyson lets out an almost amused laugh, gesturing to one of the chairs. You sit.</p><p>“Can’t say I was worried, but I appreciate the effort.” he says. “How is your…” his eyes trail down to your chest, slowly moving back up to your eyes. You fidget, a wave of heat overtaking your body. </p><p><em> Stop it. </em> You tell yourself. <em> It’s not like that.  </em></p><p>“Fine.” you reply. “The aloe vera helped. Thanks for that. And the coffee was a nice touch.” you knit your eyebrows. “How did you know my order?”</p><p>Professor Laufeyson smirks. Looking at him, you realize how broad he is. You’d never really noticed before. He had strong, wide shoulders, his black hair just barely falling on each. Were professors allowed to have long hair at this school? Apparently, because yours did. But then, even if you were Professor Laufeyson’s boss, you didn’t think you would be very good at telling him “no.”</p><p>
  <em> Hmm, you being Professor Laufeyson’s boss… </em>
</p><p>His response snaps you out of your (inappropriate, embarrassing, hot) thoughts.</p><p>“I’m very observant.” he says. “That, and I went back to the library to throw the cup away. Littering on campus is an issue, you know.”</p><p>Oh god. He cared about the environment. You find yourself having to look away, so you stare at your lap. </p><p>“How heroic of you.” is what you say next, and Professor Laufeyson just. Looks at you. Warmly, like this was normal. Like he enjoyed this.</p><p>“How’s your paper coming?” he asks. “I figured I would mention it. Most students come in for a conference with me, you know. I’m surprised you don’t. You are an overachiever, aren’t you?”</p><p>“An underachieving one, yeah.” you grimace. </p><p>“An underachieving overachiever.” Professor Laufeyson repeats. “Tell me, how does one define that?” you shrug.</p><p>“I’m going to put in the time and work, and I’m going to turn in good material. But I’m not going to do things I don’t necessarily need to.” feeling brave, you keep going. “Do you want me to set up a conference, Professor Laufeyson?”</p><p>“I want you to take advantage of opportunities that may benefit your future.” he responds. You lean back a little, away from him. </p><p>“Do you think I need the extra help?” you ask, your voice a bit quieter. </p><p>“No.” Professor Laufeyson says. You wait for him to expand on the point, but he doesn’t. After a few seconds, you stand up. </p><p>“I should go.” you say. “I’m going to… I promised Nat I would meet her.” just before you make it out the door, Professor Laufeyson says something. You turn back towards him.</p><p>“What I said, a week ago. I don’t think I was very clear.” you must look confused, because Professor Laufeyson keeps talking. “About having yet to be disappointed with your papers. What I said was true- you haven’t turned in a single poor assignment. But what I believed I neglected to say,” he says your name, and it makes your knees weak. “Is that they’ve continually impressed me. Each and every time. I was reluctant to allow you in this class, as it’s for students older and more accomplished than you.” Normally, hearing that would bruise your pride. But you know, you truly understand in this moment that that is not what Professor Laufeyson means to do at all. “But you’ve proved my first instincts to be wrong. You’re a pleasure to have. I think you should know that.”</p><p>You blink, a bit too stunned to immediately think of a response. </p><p>“Thank you.” is all you can come up with. Professor Laufeyson nods, then picks up a pen and begins to write.</p><p>You take that as a cue, and leave. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Part IV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you have a bad day, and Professor Laufeyson only makes it worse.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Double update, as promised! Also, I change the formatting so the space between lines isn't so apparent. Does that makes it better?</p><p>Check out my betaaaaa -&gt;@ uquroi</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You try really hard to be thankful and aware of how lucky you actually were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were going to a good school. You had friends, people who loved you and would do just about anything to make sure you were doing well. You had good grades, an apartment to yourself, a car. You qualified for scholarships. Honestly, you were kind of a bad person if you complained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yet, you couldn’t help it. Sometimes you did, and you didn’t want to think you were someone with compromised morality just because you were fed up with the world every once in a while. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The day starts to go downhill when your car runs out of gas, and a very nice mom with a Karen haircut pulls over to give you the gas she keeps in the back of her trunk. Her kids are in her minivan, and they’ll be late to school now because of you. She assures you it’s no issue - she would rather make a few extra calls to the school’s front office than leave a college girl alone on the side of the street. She’s really nice. You make a note not to be so judgmental of women with chunky blonde highlights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next, you get to class and quickly realize you forgot your whole-ass bookbag in your car, so you rush back and find a ticket on the windows. There’s a seventy dollar fine for not having a parking pass. You grit your teeth, because you had bought a yearlong digital pass at the beginning of last semester. You take the ticket, knowing you’ll have to either fight with the security office or just suck it up and pay the fine. You decide to deal with it later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After your first class, you meet up with Natasha to walk to the student union building for lunch. You were on student government your freshman year. You hadn’t been on it since then, but they still let you use the lounge reserved for the current president and senators. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sit on one of the cushy chairs with a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>oof</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Natasha tries to give you a comforting smile, but it comes out more condescending. That, at least, doesn’t bother you. She just wasn’t the best at making other people feel better, even though she got the way you were right now at least once a week.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least it’s our break! Food always makes me feel better.” she catches a glimpse of your expression. “You forgot your lunch, didn’t you?” wordlessly, you nod. She tosses a Cliff bar at you. “Cheer up,” she says. “We have Professor Laufeyson’s class after this. That’s always something to look forward to, right?” her nose crinkles. “Well, except that time he made us read out loud. Do you remember that? I was lucky enough to have to say the word ‘quim’. Gross. I’ll drop the class if he pulls that shit again, I don’t even care about the late fee.” you sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably just means he didn’t think we would understand the reading on our own.” you try to remember what book that was, but you can’t. You do, remember, however, that you got an “A” on the accompanying paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has no faith in us.” Natasha says sadly. You finish the Cliff bar she gave you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speak for yourself.” you say, which makes Natasha reach over to punch you in the shoulder. You grin, and start to feel better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Professor Laufeyson’s class rolls around, you’re basically back to normal. It was just a bad morning, everyone had them, and everyone got over them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You remember to ask Natasha about what’s going on with Bruce just as you sit down. In an impressive feat, her eyes both light up and roll at the same time. So she’s just as confused as before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It literally never occurred to me to think of him that way.” She says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can say the same. Still shocked this is happening.” you begin to speak a bit quieter as Professor Laufeyson begins to lecture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not happening.” Natasha says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not not happening.” you respond. She glares, and you let out a small laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ladies.” both your heads snap up. Professor Laufeyson is standing in front of you both, looking very disgruntled. “Am I interrupting something?” you feel the class watching you and Nat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I specifically mention the rules of lecture classes in the syllabus.” he cuts you off. “My class takes up about four hours of your week. Is it so hard to conversate outside of that time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha meets your eyes, looking confused and angry. You just stare back, unsure of what to do. You look back to Professor Laufeyson, opening your mouth to say something, but once again, he doesn’t let you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is a warning.” he says, then picks up where he left off. You and Nat blink, and don’t talk the rest of class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your papers on </span>
  <em>
    <span>1984</span>
  </em>
  <span> are due at the end of the lecture. When Professor Laufeyson stops at your desk to pick yours up, you don’t meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dick.” she spits the second you’re out of his classroom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Do you remember when we sat in the back? The people with us never shut up, that’s why we moved. He has never commented on people talking. Why’s he starting with us?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” Truth be told, you’re as upset as Natasha is, just in a different way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hated to admit it, but you were hurt. You don’t know why - it wasn’t like you and Professor Laufeyson were friends. No matter what your fantasies entailed, they weren’t reality. You were a student, nothing more to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Duh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You know that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But… For him to single you out, in front of the whole class, after he had helped you last week, and after the conversation in his office this week… you didn’t know. It just, it hurt. You didn’t like it. It reminded you of your place. You had gotten ahead of yourself, actually thinking Professor Laufeyson might like you in any way other than you making him look better. You scoff. Underachieving overachiever. You helped make him look good. Of course he had flattered you in his office. He just needed to make sure you continued doing that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha is still going off, talking about Professor Laufeyson’s pride and superiority complex, and you just can’t take it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m gonna go home.” you say. Nat stops in the middle of the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you have another class?” she’s right. You do have another class, but for the life of you, you can’t remember what it is right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve made an executive decision that I do not.” you tell her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” she bumps her shoulder against yours. “He’s just a professor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” you say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except that he’s not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not to you, at least. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Be sure to let me know what you think! And you can always visit me on tumblr @ thelokiimaginechronicles. See everyone next Thursday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Part V</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you go to a bar thinking you'll be alone, and wanting to be.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone! Hope your weeks are going well and you're enjoying a break from school/work. I'm working on a lesson plan that needs to total to 60 pages right now, so I'm in the thick of it. Loki fics are a great escape from that!</p><p>As always, my beta @ uquroi proofread and gave me their thoughts on this chapter. If you haven't looked at their ao3 yet, what are you doing? :P</p><p>Before we start this chapter, I need you all to be aware of the **TRIGGER WARNING: the reader gets a non-consensual kiss on her neck from someone she doesn't know. I want you to all stay safe. This doesn't last more than six sentences. It's based off something that happened to me, so writing this was very cathartic. I hope you all take care of yourselves. This doesn't and will not happen in the story anywhere else.</p><p>Alright. Go forth &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This day and week sucked. You’ll throw in the whole month too, because you’re pissed, and you just want to be that way. You had hoped that getting back home would be enough, but you begin to feel stifled even in your small apartment. You sit down on your couch, quickly checking the time. 6:00pm. It surprises you for a moment: Winter is still lingering, the evening already pitch black. You groan. Did everything right now make you feel unmotivated?</p><p>You stand up, pacing around the room in your beat up converse. How long had it been since you took a break? Not just a nap or a quick face mask, a real break. You thought about it, slowly realizing you hadn’t been off campus since the semester started. Well, home and the grocery store. But that was it.</p><p>You needed a change of scenery. And you needed it now.</p><p>There wouldn’t be much to do at this time. You pull out your phone, doing a quick google search and finding little else open but a few bars. You sigh. <em>There went that idea. </em>you thought. </p><p>Well. No.</p><p>Why couldn’t you go to a bar? Sure, it was Tuesday, and sure, barely anyone would be there, but wasn’t that the point? You didn’t want to see familiar faces tonight. You just wanted to forget everything for a little while.</p><p>A break. Just like you had said.</p><p>You walk into your room, pulling open the door to your closet and looking at your clothes. There wasn’t much to pick from- you had rent to pay. But you know there’s a black dress in here somewhere, with spaghetti straps and a fairly flattering cut. It was perfect for something like this, when you weren’t trying to impress anyone but yourself. It would be a nice change from the sweaters and jeans. You quickly put on a fresh coat of mascara and grab your keys. As you’re leaving, you see your phone is at less than forty percent. Oh well. The whole point of this was not to talk to anyone anyway.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>You feel a wave of relief wash over you with the first sip of alcohol. You wish it was something more exciting, like a shot or even a beer. But it’s a Tuesday, and you really shouldn’t be drinking at all when you have to get up for class tomorrow, so a gin and tonic will have to do.</p><p>You were right: there aren’t many people in the bar (because it’s Tuesday. You wouldn't even be there if this whole day, or week, had played out differently), but that was what you were hoping for when you arrived. There were a few other men near the bartender, a couple at one of the booths, and two women just walking through the door. You keep your head down, wanting to just drink your drink and savor being away from campus and your apartment. You thought too much in those places. There were no obligations here. </p><p>You notice one of the guys sitting a few stools away from you staring, but try not to pay him any attention. You stir your gin and tonic, thinking about how your mom used to drink them. Maybe you should call her. You take out your phone, but remember it’s about to die. You set an alarm just in case and set it back down. </p><p>“Hey there.” you feel the hair on the back of your neck rise. “Pretty girl.” the man is looking directly at you. You swallow, aggressively avoiding eye contact. “Pretty girl, with the nice black dress. What are you doing alone? Boyfriend doesn’t treat you right?”</p><p>Your throat has gone dry. You take a swig of your drink, wincing slightly at the burn. You glance around the building, looking for the bartender. You don’t see him. The man has moved closer now, and you catch a glimpse of him. He’s just a normal-looking man, wearing a suit and threading his fingers through ginger hair. </p><p>“Hey, I’m talking to you.” he says. You drag your eyes up to meet him. You’re hoping the unbothered expression you’re wearing will give him the hint, but it doesn’t. “I asked you a question. Where’s your boyfriend?”</p><p>You grit your teeth.</p><p>“Please stop talking to me.” you say. There’s an edge to your voice. The man scoffs.</p><p>“Why? It’s nothing more than a little conversation.” he practically coos. It makes your stomach twist. “Lighten up, sweetheart.” he reaches over, his fingers brushing over your shoulder. </p><p>The second he touches you, you become hyper aware of your surroundings. You notice the continued absence of the bartender, the feigned ignorance of the other customers, the wind rushing in as someone else enters the bar. </p><p>You stand up abruptly, stepping away from the man. Your heart is beating out of control, blood rushing in your ears. You stumble away, towards the bathrooms. You’d been to this bar before. You know there’s an exit near them. </p><p>You’re gripping your phone, and clenching your free fist. Your phone! You click the power button, hoping to call Natasha, Wanda, even Bruce - anyone, you just had to let someone know where you were.</p><p>Stupid, this was stupid. And dangerous. You’re feeling your chest constrict. <em>It’ll be fine </em>, you tell yourself. <em>Just open your contacts and call Nat </em>…</p><p>The power button shows you nothing but a blank screen. Dead.</p><p>“No.” you say out loud, hitting your phone against your palm. “No.” you look around. There are two doors, two doors in front of you.</p><p>Neither of them are exits.</p><p>You were wrong.</p><p>“What was that?” you hear behind you. You turn around, seeing the man round the corner and walk towards you. “You say something, sweetheart?” the man closes in on you, and as you back away from him, your back inevitably presses against the wall.</p><p>You’re trapped. He’s close, so close, you can feel this guy’s breaths on your face. </p><p>“Get away from me.” you say, and while your voice doesn’t shake, you know your eyes give you away.</p><p>You’re terrified. </p><p>“What are you gonna do about it?” the man asks. “I don’t want much. Just a couple kisses…” he dips his head down, his lips landing on your neck in a wet and disgustingly warm contact. Your mouth drops open, shocked at the intrusion.</p><p>“Get off!” you shout, hitting the man’s shoulders, but he doesn’t even budge. His lips move over your neck, and you begin to shut down, not knowing what to do.</p><p>And suddenly, it’s over. </p><p>The man is ripped away from you, thrown aside by an unseen force. You let out a breath, shaking and unable to focus. </p><p>Someone says your name. You blink, once, twice, three times. Your name is said again.</p><p>“Come with me.” The voice says. “Now.”</p><p>Professor Laufeyson?</p><p>“I’m taking your hand.” still struggling to understand what’s happening, you watch as Professor Laufeyson grabs your hand and leads you out of the bar. The man is laying on the floor, and you don’t look as you pass him. </p><p>You and your professor burst out of the doors, and while the air is freezing, your skin welcomes the coolness. Professor Laufeyson leads you to the far side of the building, away from windows and cars. He cups your face in his hand, eyes staring deep into yours.</p><p>“Are you alright?” he asks. He’s panting slightly, from worry or anger or exhaustion, you aren’t sure. </p><p>“I -” you start to talk. “I’m… I’m okay. You,” you shiver. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“My brother. He doesn’t have a phone. He’s here sometimes.” Professor Laufeyson shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter.” slowly, he begins to back away.</p><p>You reach out, latching onto his blazer. You swallow, refusing to meet his eyes. You don’t say anything.</p><p>You start to shake again. You don’t know what’s going on. </p><p>You just know you won’t feel safe if Professor Laufeyson leaves.</p><p>He stays, right where you’re holding him. He’s a strong man, you just saw proof of that. But he doesn’t jerk away.</p><p>“I didn’t… I have mace, I have a pocket knife, I just. My dress doesn’t have pockets, and I didn’t think-”</p><p>“Sssh.” Professor Laufeyson shushes you. </p><p>“And I have the gall to come to your class and turn in a paper about the treatment of women, but I’m stupid enough to-”</p><p>“Stop.” Professor Laufeyson says forcefully. You look up at him.“Being a victim of the patriarchy is not the same as being a perpetrator.” he tells you. “I’m not worried about your papers. I’m worried about you.”</p><p>You’re starting to get cold. Perhaps unconsciously, you tug your professor closer. </p><p>Neither of you say anything. </p><p>You start to feel even breaths move from the top of your head. Very slowly, and very lightly, you feel Professor Laufeyson’s lips trace patterns you can’t decipher over your neck.</p><p>He’s warm - very warm, and his mouth is soft. You somehow manage to grip Professor Laufeyson’s blazer even tighter, your knuckles losing color. Strong hands find your waist, holding you in a way that lets you know you’re safe without suffocating you.</p><p>“Professor.” you whisper. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Tell me.” he breathes. “Tell me where he touched you. Let me fix it. I’m trying to fix it.”</p><p>He draws away, and one of his hands resting over one of your breasts. He stares intently, and… does something. He doesn’t squeeze your breast, or feel you up in any way. It’s more of a caress. </p><p>You realize he’s feeling your heartbeat. </p><p>“I want to go home.” you say. </p><p>Professor Laufeyson meets your eyes, and steps away.</p><p>“Of course,” he says, “I’ll take you.”</p><p>“My car is here.” you begin to say, but your professor shakes his head. </p><p>“I don’t think you should be alone right now.” he says. You realize there’s a red tint in the man’s cheeks. You swallow.</p><p>“I just…”</p><p>“We can pick it up tomorrow.” Professor Laufeyson assures. “Or… you can call a friend. I’ll wait with you.”</p><p>Your phone is dead. You don’t have anyone’s number memorized. </p><p>“Okay.” you nod. “Take me home.”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Professor Laufeyson drives a Jaguar. It’s new, and sleek, and you have no idea how he affords it on a professor’s salary. The seats are leather, and they even have warmers. Professor Laufeyson switched yours on as soon as you sat down.</p><p>There’s only silence to listen to. You keep glancing at your professor, nothing but shadows dancing over his stoic face. You look at your lap.</p><p>“Give me your hand.”</p><p>You turn, watching your professor. He stares ahead, holding a hand out to you.</p><p>Not knowing what else to do, you place your hand in Professor Laufeyson’s large one. He squeezes it, gently, and then just lets them rest on the console between you.</p><p>“It’s alright.” he says.</p><p>A few stray tears fall down your cheeks. You know Professor Laufeyson notices, but he doesn’t say anything.</p><p>You’re glad. You don’t want him to.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>It’s a little past 8:00pm by the time you get home, nowhere near late enough to account for all this silence. The sound of you closing the car door echoes all around your apartment complex, and makes you flinch. The window rolls down.</p><p>“Do you want me to walk you to the door?” Professor Laufeyson asks. </p><p>His kindness is setting you on edge. You appreciate it, so so much. But in the moment, it’s something you despise. </p><p>“No.” you shake your head. “Thank you, professor. I… Thank you.” there isn’t really anything else you can say. </p><p>You turn around, finding the right key and your apartment.</p><p>It’s only when you shut the door behind you that you hear the Jaguar drive away. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Part VI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you begin to feel hopeful again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's update day again! I'm always so excited when I post chapters here. Do y'all feel the same?</p><p>You already know what I'm going to say next: head on over to my beta's ao3, @ uquroi, because you have them to thank for a lot of this story! </p><p>Also: the reason some of you haven't been notified when I update is because I've been making my chapters drafts before posting them. That being said, I'll stop! After this chapter y'all should go back to getting notifications. Sorry about that!</p><p>Finally, I just want to say thank you for all the kudos and comments. They do more for me than you'll ever know &lt;3</p><p>Onto the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Class with Professor Laufeyson the next day is brutal. You’re trying not to be dramatic, you’re trying not to exaggerate, but you are in agony. Plain and simple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your professor is lecturing, and it’s almost like normal, except that he glances at you every five minutes or so. You don’t look back. What would it mean if you did?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The period finally (</span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>) ends, and you linger around, taking extra time to put everything back into your bag. Once everyone is gone, you take a deep breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Professor Laufeyson is leaning against his desk, waiting for you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” you say. Stupidly. But you truly have no idea what else to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello.” he greets you back. “How are you feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You shrug. “Worse. Better. I took a shower. I walked to campus. That was… kind of nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Professor Laufeyson nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen.” he begins, but you cut him off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to talk about it.” you say. “I can’t express how thankful I am, Professor, but I can’t think about it either. Do - Do you get that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Professor Laufeyson just holds your gaze for a moment, and then nods. Slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do.” he responds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a sigh of relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like me to take you to your car? Or would you prefer a friend, perhaps Natasha?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knows you and Natasha are friends. Maybe that shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. You aren’t exactly sure why.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really want to explain anything.” you say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” he stands. “Shall we? Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink. For whatever reason, you didn’t expect it to be so sudden. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I, uh, guess we shall.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s awkward. Really awkward. And you want to fill the silence, but you also don’t want to be the one talking. You rake your mind, trying to find something to ask your professor while he drives. Preferably not school or last night related.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said you had a brother.” is what you settle on. The professor nods. “What’s his name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thor.” he says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Younger or older?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Older.” you can’t help it, you let out a small laugh. “What?” Professor Laufeyson asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t imagine you being the younger sibling, I guess.” you admit. “You’re so… mature? I don’t think that’s the word I’m looking for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do hope you don’t mean to say boring.” he says, giving you a knowing look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Definitely not.” you assure him. “I can say, and everyone can say, a lot of things about you. I don’t think that boring has crossed any of our minds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Professor Laufeyson ponders this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” you parrot back. Professor Laufeyson looks at you </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, despite that fact he’s driving and it’s unsafe. Very. He ought to pay more attention. You tell him that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve lived here for much longer than you. I promise, you're quite safe with me behind the wheel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” you just hum again. Professor Laufeyson glares. You smirk at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A reluctant smile tugs at his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Professor Laufeyson parks right next to your car, but still insists on getting out with you. You let him. After your engine has successfully sprung to life, he taps on the window. You roll it down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here.” he hands you a small slip of paper. “It’s my number. This is the last mention I’ll make of this, but if anything like last night happens again, call me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You accept the piece of paper. Professor Laufeyson’s fingers brush your own as you take it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The touch is small, but it feels electric. A wave of warmth and hope washes over your body, leaving you tender and fragile in its wake. It’s a lot - too much to handle normally, let alone now. In an attempt to distract yourself, you open the paper. It’s only folded in half once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> The numbers are written in infuriatingly neat handwriting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will.” you promise. You’re about to be done with it. Say that and drive away, do homework or watch Hulu or something. You’re about to stop there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But you don’t. Nervously, you bite your lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Professor... what if I want to call you for other things?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your professor blinks, no surprise or excitement to be found on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words are a different story.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then call me for other things.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Part VII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you lay some ground rules.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing great and getting closer and closer to your winter break. As of yesterday, I have done all my finals and I'm making the drive home for the holidays. Yay!</p><p>Make sure to visit my beta, @ uquroi on ao3. They help me so much with my Loki projects and are just the coolest!</p><p>Enjoy this chapter, and as always, let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your class with Professor Laufeyson is from 3:30 to 5:30pm, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. His office hours go from 5:30 until 6:00pm on these days. You know, because you looked.</p><p>Because you had a plan. </p><p>You didn’t need any help with the latest reading assignment - <em> Annie John </em> by Jamaica Kincaid. It was a great book, one you were pleasantly surprised to see Professor Laufeyson assigned. You’d already picked a topic to write about. You weren’t just caught up in this class, you were ahead.</p><p>But you have no idea how else to start a conversation with your professor. Hence, you are standing in his office, asking for help you didn’t need.</p><p>“You aren’t sure what to start a paper on?” Professor Laufeyson asks you. Well. You should have come up with a more believable lie. You glance at the clock near the door. 5:40pm. If all went according to plan, you just had to stall for twenty more minutes before casually mentioning, oh, Professor Laufeyson’s workday was over, and oh, it was dinnertime. Maybe he would like to grab dinner with you?</p><p>You could have just texted Professor Laufeyson. But you wanted to be around him. </p><p>“No. No idea.” you say. “And I thought about my workload in other classes, and how it would really serve me well to get a head start. So.” you nod. “Office hours.”</p><p>“Right.” Professor Laufeyson raises an eyebrow. “I have to admit I find that hard to understand. You just wrote a paper on the experiences of women in <em> 1984 </em> . <em> Annie John </em> is a bildungsroman. The same topic would be more than appropriate.”</p><p>Shit. You knew that was the case, because you were already working on that exact prompt. </p><p>“Well... “ you try to come up with an excuse. “I wouldn’t want to bore you. Tell me, professor, what topics do you want to read about?” You sit down in one of the chairs. </p><p>“So long as the paper is well written and the book it’s about provides substance, I couldn’t care less.” Professor Laufeyson folds his hands and watches you. You narrow your eyes.</p><p>“That… That would imply you think <em> 1984 </em> provides substance.” you say. Professor Laufeyson smirks. </p><p>You can’t help it, you launch into a monologue you’ve given several times before. It’s basically just the spoken version of the paper you just turned in. You’re only halfway through when Professor Laufeyson checks his watch.</p><p>“Well, I get off now. So, office hours are over.” he eyes you. “But if you would like, we could continue this over dinner?”</p><p>You stare at him, somewhat dumbfounded. Loki watches you, amused, back.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>The first thought you have when Professor Laufeyson parks his car is,<em> I have never been anywhere like this </em>. </p><p>He’s taken you to a restaurant in the next town over - which makes sense, you wouldn’t want anyone to see you two together. That realization weighs heavy on your heart, so you push it away, instead taking note of how utterly underdressed you are. </p><p>“I can’t go in there.” you say to your professor. </p><p>“Why not?” he asks. </p><p>“Th- This is like a fancy restaurant. I’m wearing a sweater.”</p><p>“It’s a nice sweater.” your professor compliments you. It is. It’s white and fluffy, and you got it on sale. But it’s not appropriate for this. </p><p>“Professor, I can’t,” you shake your head. He tuts at you. There are a few moments of silence. “Give me your suit jacket.”</p><p>Your professor looks at you, a mixture of confusion and annoyance. You bite your lip.</p><p>“Please?”</p><p>You didn’t expect that to work, but it does. Your professor reluctantly hands you the layer, watching you curiously. </p><p>“Turn around.” You say. Having already lost a fight with you, Professor Laufeyson simply complies. You take off your sweater, slipping your professor’s suit jacket on and buttoning it as far as you can. It's big, and a bit… show-y, but you’ll stick out a million times less in it. You cuff your jeans a few times, thanking your past self for deciding to wear flats today instead of vans. You sigh.</p><p>“Okay.” you say. “I’m ready.”</p><p>Professor Laufeyson’s eyes darken when he sees you, and you think you see his tongue dart out to lick his lips. But it’s somewhat dark in the car, so you honestly can’t tell.</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>This restaurant is like something out of a movie. There’s a lit candle between you and Professor Laufeyson, and flutes of champagne are presented to you both as soon as you sit down. The waiter addresses your professor by name.</p><p>“Have you been here before?” You ask, even though the answer is clearly yes. Your professor nods. </p><p>“I used to come quite a bit. Not as much anymore. I haven’t found the time.” he eyes you. “Or an excuse.”</p><p>Flattery truly was Professor Laufeyson’s strong suit. Your cheeks warm up. For a moment, you don’t say anything.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” Your professor asks, in a voice much softer than any other you’ve heard from him. You smile slightly.</p><p>“You.” you say. Honestly. You have no interest in lying to Professor Laufeyson, and after earlier, you clearly weren’t good at it. “And other things. I think a lot.”</p><p>“I know.” he says. “I believe I’ve known for awhile.” in the candlelight, the sharp hollows of your professor’s face are even more apparent. He looks beautiful, maybe even godlike. </p><p>“Professor-” you begin, but are soon interrupted. </p><p>“Call me Loki.” he says. Your heart skips a beat. You smile, just a bit.</p><p>“Loki.” you say slowly. Trying the word out. It feels nice on your lips. “What do you hope to get out of this? Out of… me.”</p><p>You wouldn’t usually ask anyone you were interested in a question so bold. But Professor Laufeyson - Loki - is different. He makes you scared and confident all at once. Safe. You know, deep down, he wouldn’t have shown interest in you if he wasn’t truly invested in you as a person. </p><p>But still. You need confirmation. And Loki is there, fully present, to provide it.</p><p>“Whatever you’re willing to give me,” he answers. You nod. “Would it make you feel better for us to set some boundaries?” </p><p>You look at Loki, and nod again. That would be perfect, actually. You know it’s stupid, but you already begin to feel like he knows you. </p><p>“Alright.” he says. “Number one. You will call me Loki, except when we are in class. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes. Loki.” you add for emphasis. He smirks. </p><p>“Perfect.” he claims. “Two. We only talk freely in my office. And you begin to control those longing glances of yours in the classroom.”</p><p>“Okay, you started it.” you argue, but you’re smiling. Loki concedes. </p><p>“I’m ending it now.” He tells you.</p><p>“Okay,” you say. “My turn. We don’t talk about classwork, and you don’t change the way you grade my papers. I want to earn my grades. Not be given them.”</p><p>“Of course.” Loki agrees. </p><p>“And we only ever see each other in your office or outside of school grounds. Like my house. Or yours. No sneaking around into supply closets or something.” Loki’s eyes are twinkling.</p><p>“Alright.” he says. “Tell me, we aren’t on campus now, are we?”</p><p>“No?” you respond. Loki grins. </p><p>“So you won’t mind if I do this?” he reaches forward, taking your hand in his and resting it on the table.</p><p>Your throat dries, your whole body responding to the touch. You smile at your joined hands, watching Loki as his thumb begins to rub your lifeline. </p><p>“No.” you say. “I don’t mind at all.”</p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>Loki walks you to the door of your apartment. You’ve put your own shirt on by now, but Loki left his suit jacket in the back of his car. He looks amazing, in just the button down. It hugs his strong chest, his tapered waist. You swallow.</p><p>“This is me.” you say in a small voice, even though he knows that. It’s Loki. He’s very well aware.</p><p>Loki acknowledges what you said by placing an arm over your head and against your door, looking at you with the tiniest smirk. Slowly, painfully slowly, he leans in until his lips almost press against yours.</p><p>“I have something to tell you.” he murmurs. His lips ghost over your own as he talks. You shiver, your hands moving towards Loki to rest on his chest before you’re even aware they are.</p><p>“What?” you ask. Your breaths become irregular as your body reacts to being so close Loki’s, begging for the distance to shrink even more. </p><p>“I know you don’t need help with <em> Annie John </em>.” you close your eyes, letting your hands roam over Loki’s torso. You feel his stomach muscles clench under your palms, and in that moment, you’re overwhelmed with need.</p><p>“Then why did you let me waste your time?” you listen to your breaths hitting Loki’s, and wonder if his eyes are closed too.</p><p>“You didn’t. I like it when you talk.” you hear a growl come from the back of Loki’s throat. “But I think I’d like you this way too.”</p><p>Loki places his free hand on your neck, drawing you in and pressing his lips against yours. You’re ready, letting your body press against his. The kiss starts out innocent, testing out the waters, but Loki soon nibbles on your bottom lip. You open your mouth, letting his tongue explore and learn everything there is about you. </p><p>As soon as it begins, it’s over, and Loki leaves you out of breath and wanting. He gives a small, almost sad smile.</p><p>“Come see me in my office tomorrow.” he tells you.</p><p>You only nod in response. And then Loki leaves, with you looking demure yet feeling anything but.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Part VIII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you become acquainted with Loki, not Professor Laufeyson</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay! Thursdays always come pretty fast for me, which is good because I always look forward to updating. Can you all say the same?</p><p>Be sure to visit my beta, @ uquroi on ao3 because they are the best!! I say it every time and it just becomes more and more true.</p><p>I hope everyone is now on some sort of winter break and getting some time to relax. You all deserve it! I also want to say thank you so much for all the comments and kudos. They help me so much and I'm thrilled y'all seem to like to read this story as much as I like writing it. You guys are awesome!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>This is the first day you see Loki on a day you don’t have class with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You used to look forward to Fridays because of that - yes, Loki’s class was your favorite. But you would be lying if you said it wasn’t stressful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, you didn’t feel that way at all. You had come into your own in Loki’s class. More importantly, it was different, the dynamic between you two. It was exhilarating. You liked it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were going to text Loki, tell him you were coming to his office at one. You knew he was free then, no classes to teach. But something in the back of your mind told you he wasn’t much of texter. You decide to only call the professor, and to only do so if absolutely necessary. You were pretty sure Loki would appreciate that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You smooth down your hair just before you knock on Loki’s office doors, resisting the urge to pull out your phone and check your reflection. You had shown up to Loki’s class with less than three hours of sleep multiple times before. Whatever you looked like right now, he’d seen worse before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hear him call </span>
  <em>
    <span>come in</span>
  </em>
  <span> when you knock, and you oblige, closing the door behind you. Loki stands up, smirking as he makes his way towards you. He reaches out, and your heart races as you think he’s going to touch you. Instead, his hand just barely brushes your hip as he reaches behind you to lock the door. You blink, letting your bag drop to the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I do for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bite your lip, gaze falling to the floor. You weren’t exactly sure what to do now. Should you be your assertive, opinionated self, or the girl from last night who had been too nervous to grab Loki’s hand after he kissed you? Too… </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> to ask him if he wanted to come in?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You decide to do what’s already been done before, reaching forward and intertwining your fingers with Loki’s. He responds, squeezing your hand and taking enough steps towards you that your back soon hits the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” you smile. Loki raises an eyebrow, and begins to trace your jaw with his free hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” he greets you back.  You lean into Loki’s touch, his thumb swiping over your cheekbone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, um, kind of left last night.” you venture. Loki hums.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I?” he leans forward to place a kiss on your neck. You melt a little bit. You’re sure Loki notices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. You just drove away. Just when things were getting…” you trail off. Loki meets your eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When things were getting?” he asks. You glare at him, but only half-heartedly. He smirks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” You murmur. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you insist.” your blood runs cold, but your face grows hot as you watch Loki bring your hand up to his mouth, kissing your palm lightly before he takes your index and middle finger in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You gasp lightly, surprised by the sudden act but completely taken by it. Your eyes begin to dip, and you watch Loki through slivers. He’s so warm, and attentive as he sucks your digits, wrapping an arm around your waist when you arch your back and give him the chance to. You let Loki support you, laying both your hands on his shoulders when he releases you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The door.” you breathe. “You need to… Loki, get me away from the door.” you don’t want anyone to hear you, and you don’t trust yourself to keep quiet if this escalates. Loki’s eyes are glowing as he picks you up. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a noise, burying your face in the crook of Loki’s neck. He gives you a small laugh, carrying you to the smallest couch you’ve ever seen. It’s not super far away from the door you’re so worried about, but then, this is an office. Nothing is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re strong.” you say once Loki has sat down. You’re straddling him now, trying not to pay it too much attention while simultaneously committing every single detail of this to memory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that surprise you?” Loki asks. You tuck a strand of his dark hair behind his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so.” you answer. This was Professor Laufeyson. He seemed strong in every possible way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No dirty fantasies I should know about then?” Loki teases, his hands inching closer to your ass. You let out a small laugh, leaning forward to press your lips against his.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s your second kiss with Loki, and it does not disappoint. He slides one hand on your back, keeping you steady as he tugs you closer to him. You open your mouth, beckoning Loki to deepen the kiss, but keep the rest of your body still, acutely aware of the fact you’re perched on Loki’s lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki hums slightly, his tongue greeting yours and eliciting a moan from you. This makes Loki grin against your lips, you can feel it, and you can’t help but smile back. Soon enough, you draw away, trying to catch your breath. You place your hands over Loki’s chest, like you did the night before, and stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” you say. Loki knits his eyebrows. You begin to fiddle with the collar of Loki’s shirt. “No dirty fantasies. I wouldn’t let myself.” you look down. Loki’s hands come to rest over your own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why was that?” he asks, almost innocently. Like he’s genuinely confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because,” you shrug. “Because I didn’t think they would ever come true. I don’t like setting myself up for disappointment.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pulls you even closer, so your arms fall over his shoulders and your bodies press together. He begins kissing your neck again, enough to leave a mark. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You hope he does, at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have I disappointed you so far?” Loki asks, and you move so you can stare at him again. Loki ghosts a finger over the spot on your neck he’s presumably bruised. It’s like he’s making sure it doesn’t hurt when he does that - making sure he didn’t worry your skin too hard. It’s sweet. Your stomach jumps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” you say, then shiver. Loki nods, the same nod he gives students in class when they’ve said something he agrees with. It makes you feel proud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get too cocky there.” you warn him playfully. “I also work a lot in your class. I didn’t have time to think about… this. Outside of thinking you were beautiful, it didn’t even occur to me to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re afraid you’ve hurt Loki’s feelings, or bruised his pride, something like that. But Loki simply cocks his head, tracing your spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know something? I believe you.” he sighs. “And I like that about you. I really, really do.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Part IX</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you ask Loki to tell you a secret</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hehehehe (or as a true Tom Hiddleston/Loki fan would say, ehehehe). I've been waiting for this chapter! We're finally getting a bit spicy ;)</p><p>Be sure to say hi to at uquroi on ao3, because they're my beta and they're awesome!</p><p>Happy holidays everyone! I hope this chapter is a good gift to you ^.^</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You don’t feel like reading.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s a strange sentiment for you to have - you were, after all, in one of the most advanced English classes at your university, with the best English professor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The very same professor whose office you were in right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a sigh, turning your head to look at Loki. He’s sitting at his desk, flipping through papers and glancing at his laptop screen every once in a while. You’re lying on the floor, for no reason other than you just kind of collapsed when you came in and were too tired to move. But you like looking at Loki from this angle. You can see his bowed head and furrowed brow well from here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out another sigh, one that you know will catch the man’s attention. He looks up, raising a single eyebrow and giving you a questioning look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have something to say?” He asks. You fold the corner of the book you’re reading and shut it. Loki flinches. “I’ve asked you not to do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good thing I rent my books from the bookstore and not you.” You tell him. Loki rolls his eyes slightly, and it makes you giddy. You love seeing him act in ways he never would in the classroom. It made you feel special. Even better, close to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that what we’re discussing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” You answer. “Well. We could be. I don’t really care as long as we’re... discussing.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>nice one.</span>
  </em>
  <span> You think to yourself. Loki had a way of making you tongue-tied. He knew it, too, because anytime you say something stupid he gives you a small smile. Which would make your stomach jump. Which would make you say stupid things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a vicious cycle, really.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Loki leans back in his chair, papers forgotten. You sit up so you can see him better, then decide to make your way to his desk and sit in one of the chairs. You lean forward, elbows on the desk and watching Loki intently. He chuckles. “...What is it you want to discuss? Favorite colors? Favorite superhero? Tell me, does everyone your age still insist on telling each other their </span>
  <em>
    <span>Harry Potter</span>
  </em>
  <span> houses?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know about </span>
  <em>
    <span>Harry Potter</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” You ask. Well, you exclaim. You can’t help it. The idea of Loki Laufeyson knowing anything about pop culture is, for whatever reason, a foreign one to you. Obviously, it shouldn’t be, because Loki looks at you like you’re one of the dumbest people in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart, I’m from England.” Your knees go weak when Loki calls you that. “And I’m almost forty, not ninety. You must give me more credit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I know that.” Your cheeks burn from the nickname. You hope Loki notices. “I mean, I know what a British accent sounds like. They’re… I like them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like yours.” You admit quietly. You feel something on your foot. Loki has looped his ankle around your own. It makes sparks shoot throughout your body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad to hear it.” He tells you. It’s silent for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what’s your favorite?” You ask. Loki cocks his head. “Color.” You clarify. He scoffs. “You brought it up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did.” He agrees. His eyes sparkle, which makes yours widen. “It’s green. Forest green, I can’t say I enjoy neon anything.” you watch Loki for a moment. “What?” He asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing. It just makes sense. I was thinking you would say blue, but… No, green suits you.” You nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How so?” Loki inches his chair closer to the desk, so you do the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a strong color.” You say. “And very regal. And, um,” you look down. “It’s the color of pine trees. You smell like pine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that so?” Loki has reached forward, towards one of your arms. You’re wearing a bracelet, and he begins to play with it absentmindedly. You blink slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” You murmur, and you find yourself leaning forward even though there isn’t really space for you to. Loki does the same, so you place a hand on the side of his neck and let your lips fall on his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not the most comfortable thing ever. Your ribs are pressed against the desk, and you’re half-sitting, half-standing, but you don’t really care. Loki places a large hand over your own, and with the other, he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>tugging</span>
  </em>
  <span> on your shirt, asking you to come closer. There’s no other way to do that than to climb over the desk, so that’s what you do -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something falls from the surface and lands on the floor with a shattering noise, and you pull back. It’s the picture frame you saw a week or two ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” You crawl away and begin to make your way around the desk, towards Loki, to help him clean it up. Before you can, he’s picked it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a crack.” He assures you, opening a drawer and slipping it inside. “It wasn’t your fault anyway.” you’re thinking so intently about the picture frame, you barely realize Loki’s hands have found your hips and tugged you onto his lap. “Where were we?” He asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lets his lips roam the parts of your skin left bare by the v of your t-shirt. It’s not much, and his fingers are soon teasing the hem. You hum, bringing Loki in for another kiss before he can do anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me a secret.” You murmur into his mouth, thinking about the picture. You don’t want him to tell you about that, not yet. Loki clearly doesn’t want to. But you’d love to know something else. Whatever he was willing to say to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A secret,” he bites down on your lip, then trails a line of kisses down your neck. He pulls the sleeve of your shirt down over your shoulder, eyeing a spot near your collarbone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” You say, knowing what he’s about to do. You wanted Loki to bruise your skin more than anything right now, but you knew you had to hide it. Loki’s so smart, always one step ahead of everyone. His lips find the spot he was looking at, worrying and sucking at your skin in a way that makes your head fall backwards. You grip at Loki’s biceps, holding back a moan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A secret.” He repeats. It reverberates throughout your skin. You tug on Loki’s hair, and he hisses. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You take note of that for future reference. “I always paid attention to you in class,” he says, biting on your skin. You moan, and feel Loki smile. “At first it was because you were an exception. I’ve never let someone in early, let alone someone as young as you. But then,” Loki runs his tongue over the mark you’re sure is starting to form. “I began to notice everything else about you. Your papers, your wit…” Loki pauses. “Your body. Everything. I noticed it all. I noticed </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki.” you say. He raises his head to meet your eyes, and you’re overwhelmed with the need to say something, but you can’t possibly fathom what would be the right thing. Loki’s lips are red and swollen, and you run your thumb over them. Very, very, hesitantly, you roll your hips, watching as Loki’s eyes flutter shut, black lashes dancing across pale cheeks. “Thank you.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Part X</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you take Professor Laufeyson on a date</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy (almost) new year everyone! Hope everyone is staying safe and sound. Can you we're already on chapter ten?! Crazy.</p><p>In this chapter, the novel "Olivia" is referenced and Loki tells the reader there are similarities between the main character's story and their lives. For those of you who haven't read the book, it's about a sixteen year old girl who falls in love with her teacher, Madame Julie. Hopefully that contextualizes Loki's point for you!</p><p>Drop by my beta's ao3, @ uquroi! They're the bestest :)</p><p>Happy reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You call Loki for the first time when you get back to your apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s soon after you leave campus - in fact, Loki’s class had been your last one today. Still, you find the slip of paper he wrote his number on and type it in your phone (find is a generous word. You’d been keeping the paper in your phone case since Loki gave it to you, because you knew you wouldn’t lose it there. You couldn’t bear to do that). He picks up on the first ring, and greets you by name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did you know it was me?” You ask. You can practically hear the amusement in Loki’s voice when he answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give this number to many people. Or anyone at all, really.” You look at your feet, barely containing a smile. Then you decide not to. You’re happy, you like being someone Loki trusted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right.” You say. You wish you could see Loki. “I, um, was wondering what you were doing tomorrow. Seeing as you won’t have class.” It would be Saturday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Loki’s voice sounds deeper over the phone. You like it. “Saturdays normally are quite busy for me. But,” you can hear the smile in his voice, “I think I can make an exception this time. I’ll pick you up at ten?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hold the phone away from yourself as you jump up and down in excitement. Then you clear your throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds great.” You say. Then you hang up first. Just to show you can.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The air is crisp the next morning, so you rush over to Loki’s car. He watches as you sit down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning.” He says. You smile at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning.” you say. Loki is dressed down, wearing tight jeans and a green sweater. His hair is pulled back into a bun, and it makes you do a double take. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You look amazing. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Loki laughs. Shit, you said that out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um.” You cough. “Yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where to?” Loki asks, eyes twinkling. You always thought you liked his long, dark hair. You definitely did. But with it up, you can see the strong curve of Loki’s jawline and Adam’s Apple even better. It makes your stomach jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking coffee. Then I thought I could show you my favorite bookstore, and you don’t have to worry, because it’s a couple towns away.” You buckle your seatbelt. “Unless you want a break from books, seeing as you’re an English professor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki smiles, and leans in for a kiss. You’re slightly surprised, but you welcome it, allowing Loki’s tongue to briefly trail over your bottom lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds perfect.” He says as he pulls away, then puts the car into drive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a twenty minute drive. Five minutes in, Loki put his hand on your thigh. You don’t say anything, but you do look down and smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm drinks in one hand and Loki’s in another, you walk down the busy streets towards the bookshop. It’s cold, enough to see your breath every time Loki makes you chuckle. You get inside just before it begins to rain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucky you!” says the shop owner as the door closes. The rain starts to hit the window. It goes well with the music playing softly throughout the building. You give the owner a smile, then lead Loki towards your favorite aisle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I quite like the rain,” Loki says, taking a sip of his coffee. “I’m not overly fond of thunder, but I would absolutely take a rainy day over a sunny one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spoken like a true lover of literature.” You say. Loki nods, placing a hand on the small of your back. He leans in over your shoulder, taking a glance at the books in front of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what makes these books so special?” He asks in a low voice, breath tickling your neck. You hold back a shudder, but it takes a lot of energy. You’re stuck between wanting Loki to know every single effect he has on you and desperately trying to play it cool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re antiques.” You answer him. You run your finger along the spine of an old book. “They have that old book smell, and sometimes they have little notes written in the margins. Besides,” you turn to look at Loki. As you do, his hand slides from your back to your waist. You suddenly have the urge to tell him to push you into the bookshelf and kiss you right then and there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But you don’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Who doesn’t want a collector’s version of their favorite book?” You spin back around, face warming up. A stray novel catches your eye, and you exclaim in excitement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” Loki asks. You hold it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Olivia</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” you say. “By Dorothy Strachey.” you begin to thumb through the pages. It’s definitely old. If it wasn’t printed in the 50s, it was in the 60s. “It’s one of my favorites.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki chuckles, and when you glance up at him, he’s reaching forward. He cups your face, thumb brushing over your cheekbone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” You whisper as Loki leans in to place his lips where his hand was just moments ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are just… Similarities, between the character and us, that’s all. I can see why you like it so much.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You set the book down, placing your hands on Loki’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sixteen.” You murmur. Loki hums, and you realize he’s nuzzling the crook of your neck. “And you’re not a Parisian woman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Loki agrees. He pulls you gently, leading you to the end of the bookcase and pressing your back into it. He begins kissing your neck, knee wedged between your legs. You hold back a gasp. “I suppose not. But there is a reason people say life imitates art.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki watches you so intently when he says the word art, green eyes looking deep into yours. Your heart flutters. It’s high praise, to be compared to art, especially if the man saying it to you is built like a god.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Loki closes the gap between you both once more, you’re reminded of a quote from </span>
  <em>
    <span>Olivia.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There was no need of wine to intoxicate me. Everything in her proximity was intoxicating</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s getting dark as you and Loki drive back to your apartment. His hand is on your thigh again. Neither of you say anything. Silence with Loki was so comfortable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re slow to get out of the car, and even slower to unlock your door. As you turn the handle to your apartment, you take a deep breath. Facing him, you look at Loki with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to come in?” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please go read "Olivia." It's amazing. I'm thinking of making an "A Study In Suit" reading list after this fic is finished, which would just be a compiled list of all the (in my opinion, awesome) books the fic references. Would anyone be interested? Let me know!</p><p>Also, smut starts next week. Come prepared! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Part XI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you invite Loki inside</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everybody! I hope y'all are doing well. I started classes again this week, and I like them all so far. I'm cautiously optimistic about this year. It helps that I love January (it's my birthday month) and winter overall though. For everyone else getting back into their school schedules, good luck! I'm sure you'll all do awesome.</p><p>I've been SO excited to post this chapter, and I hope y'all are excited to read it! As always, be sure to tell me what you think.</p><p>Go say hi to @ uquroi, my beta, because this story wouldn't be as good without them!</p><p>Don't forget you can always come visit me on tumblr @ thelokiimaginechronicles. </p><p>Happy reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>There’s no formality to be had, and there’s no formality that either of you are interested in. Loki’s lips are on yours before the door even shuts behind you, nipping and sucking and cradling your lips in an embrace that you wish was promised to you. You kick your shoes off, allowing Loki to draw away and do the same. He doesn’t take his eyes off you until you turn around, leading Loki to your room, his hands on your hips the whole way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You shut that door too - with Loki, it’s a force of habit. Never wanting to get caught. But there was no threat here, in your home. Just you and Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had been wanting, no, needing this for awhile. You’re ready for Loki to throw you on the bed and take you right then and there, but you notice him looking around. You feel your cheeks heat up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing next to him, you try to look at your room through Loki’s eyes. There’s a hamper of laundry that’s too full, and your bed isn’t made. The blinds are closed, but the window isn’t, so a weird noise is filtering through the room. You have one small bookcase and desk, both covered with books and childhood mementos. Old letters. Pens that have run out of ink. My Little Ponies, the ones with magnets in their hooves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s embarrassing, you begin to think, but then Loki sneaks his hands around your waist and kisses your cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s so you.” He murmurs. “I don’t know what I would have expected, but thank you. For letting me come here. I like knowing you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was an interesting thing to say. No one has ever said something so utterly transparent to you before. You’d been told by others that they liked you, that they knew you. But to be told by Loki he liked </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing</span>
  </em>
  <span> you, that was something different. It implied something more. That he liked knowing all of you, bad habits and childhood memories included. It was… intimate. You can feel the sentiment of the statement, burrowing down deep inside you and making your body come to life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You smile, letting your hands slide up to Loki’s chest. You begin to walk backwards, towards your bed, and let yourself and Loki fall on it. Loki catches himself above you, his body hovering mere inches from yours. You feel a heat begin to form in your belly, a coil tightening. You swallow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought you were the professor here. I should be learning about you, not the other way around.” you say, but it’s nothing more than a tease. Loki’s eyes narrow, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. It makes you fidget, which does not go unnoticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we both know I am.” he growls. Loki rolls his hips, his clothed cock pressing against your core. You gasp, reaching up to grasp Loki’s shoulders. You’re disappointed when your nails dig into his shirt instead of skin, and become acutely aware of how much clothing the two of you are wearing. You move your hands towards the buttons of Loki’s shirt, struggling to find the focus to unbutton them as Loki turns his attention to your neck. You let out a moan, your hands going limp as you fail to even rid Loki of his shirt. “Students should raise their hands if they have questions.” Loki says against your skin. “Just tell me what you want, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” you begin to feel silly. All the other times something like this had happened, you were in Loki’s office. You didn’t have as much time for games.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” Loki nips your earlobe, and your mouth drops open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just… Take off your shirt. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki draws away, catching your eyes. He sighs, as unable as ever to refuse you when you say that magic word. He sits up, unbuttoning his shirt and removing it, then his belt, then his pants, until he’s just left in his underwear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your mouth waters, and your entire body seems to jump, reacting to the sight in front of you. You sit up as much as you can with Loki’s hips over your knees, and just… look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’d never seen Loki, not like this. In his office, he was always rid of a shirt or pants. Never both at once. Your eyes rake over the man, his strong chest and muscled stomach. He has freckles on his shoulders, and you make it a personal mission right then and there to kiss every single one of them. Your gaze drops just a bit lower, and you see the swollen head of Loki’s cock peeking out of the waistband of his boxers. You shudder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can’t wait any longer, so to do so literally seems impossible. You reach out to map Loki’s body with your hands. You need it - him - now, but you also don’t want to rush this. Your hands explore every dip of muscle, every curve of softness they can find. Loki watches you the same way he always does when you touch him, his eyes blown out with pleasure and his breath just barely hitching. He rids you of your dress, then your bra, and while you’re still touching him, he begins to rub the pad of his thumb over your clothed clit in small, torturous circles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You gasp when this happens, the sensations blooming throughout your body with every new flick. Loki takes this opportunity to push you back down onto the pillows, and takes one of your breasts in his mouth. His tongue worries your nipple, already stiff and peaked, while his hand rids you of your underwear and slips between your folds before finding its way inside you. You let out a cry, one hand reaching up to thread through Loki’s hair and the other clenching the sheets besides you. You can’t get over, can’t wrap your hand around how </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> Loki is at this, but it’s still not enough, and your hips buck, searching for more. Loki chuckles, the sound reverberating through your skin, and making your vision blur. You let out a whine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So impatient.” he suddenly draws away, the absence of his touch leaving you wild with want. But you can’t miss it for long, because Loki quickly tosses away his last layer, stroking himself a few times while his eyes never leave you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki -” his name comes out a moan as you watch the older man line his cock up with your entrance. He runs his head over your folds, causing your hips to keen as you practically shout with want. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart.” Loki licks the shell of your ear, tracing it with his tongue. He places a large hand, calloused yet soft at the same time, on your belly and pushes you back down. “I’ll take care of you. I promise you that.” he suddenly places a chaste kiss on your lips, teasing your core with the head of his girth. “Are you ready?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” you exclaim, your whole body seeming to short circuit over how slow this is all happening. Loki grins, and with one solid movement, he enters you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound you make when he does is embarrassing, but Loki seems to love it, pressing his mouth to yours as soon as you quiet down. He lets out his own noises, a grunt and something smaller, his brow furrowing as a line of sweat appears. You let your eyes fall closed as your walls clench around Loki. You moan again, feeling as full as you ever have. You’ve never felt anything like this, never been pleasured by such a thick and needy cock. Your nails dig into Loki’s shoulders, tears beginning to spill from your eyes. The sound of uneven breaths fill the room, and Loki makes sure every part of your bodies are touching. Hand to hand. Chest to chest. Stomach to stomach. Not a single part of you escapes your professor, and not a single part of you wants to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are - are you alright?” Loki asks through pants. You open your eyes, and Loki is staring down at you with blown-out pupils as he rolls his hips. You let out a whine, but nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Just… Maybe go a bit slower?” it almost physically pains you to ask this, but Loki is so satisfying and big, and it’s been awhile since you’ve done this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki listens to you immediately, stilling inside you and just resting so you can adjust. You relax a bit, working to become used to Loki and every part of him. You’re eager, and willing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki presses his forehead to your own, still panting slightly as he opens his mouth to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to press you into this mattress face first and have my way with you like that.” Loki’s words are filthy, but he says them so… emotionally. Like he’s pained and in love at the same time. You know he’s trying to fill the silence too, curb your uncertainty. Loki knows you, knows it would have hurt your pride to ask him to slow down. He’s trying to make it better. Your heart swells. “You would look so beautiful like that, on your knees and elbows with your ass in the air. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that. Not this first time.” Loki places an open mouthed kiss to your collarbone, his cock twitching inside you. “I want to see you. Hear you. You’re so beautiful, like this. Fine-tuning yourself to fit my cock, responding to my every word. You’re a dream.” you breathe in a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You feel so good,” you manage to tell Loki, earning a growl from the back of his throat. “And so kind, waiting for me. I’m going to think of this every time I look at you know. You’ve ruined me.” you wrap your arms around Loki’s shoulders. “I love it.” you meet Loki’s eyes, but it’s almost too much. Your eyes flicker down again. “You can. Keep going, now.” you begin to feel self-conscious, wishing you could find it in yourself to be as well-spoken as the papers you turned into Loki’s class. “And I’ll - I’ll stop talking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never want you to stop talking.” Loki murmurs, and you’re about to respond, but he pulls out of you and thrusts before you can, hitting somewhere deep inside you that makes you see stars. You moan, quickly biting down on Loki’s shoulder to hide it. He thrusts again, harder this time, and has to grab the headboard. He slips his arm under your back as it arches, holding you in place to make sure you don’t hit your head. You melt into every embrace Loki has you in, begging for more. Your legs lock around Loki’s waist, inviting him in deeper and deeper until he bottoms out, cursing in your ear and holding you too close yet too far. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re the first to let go, all it takes is a few more swipes of Loki’s thumb over your clit until you’re a mess, shaking as the most powerful orgasm you’ve felt rips through your body. Loki’s release is mere seconds after, coming inside you. You wish, for a second, you could feel it more, that Loki wasn’t wearing one of the condoms from your bedside table, but you push the thought away. There was no time, no time for negativity here. You let your head remain fuzzy, stupid with satitation and sex as Loki eases out of you. He lays on his back, quickly taking off the condom and pulling you into his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You lie there, eyes half-lidded and head on Loki’s chest as you rest. Loki’s heartbeat slowly returns to normal, and he coaxes you through aftershocks. At one point, he sighs, then presses a kiss to your temple. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking about?” Loki asks, and you smile. That always seemed to be his question for you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not much.” you look up, and Loki is watching you with a lazy smile on his face.  You reach up to trace the pattern on freckles on his shoulder. There’s a mark there, one that you left. It makes you want to grin. “Just… I’m totally in love with you. Not overall, not yet. But right now, at this very moment, I’m in love with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki says nothing. Normally, that would make you nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But his smirk, quickly followed by the way he kisses you, chases the feeling away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You fall asleep, drifting in and out of consciousness for the rest of the time Loki is with you. At eight pm, he gets dressed again and wakes you up so you can lock the door behind him. He wants to make sure you’re safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You get back in bed right after he leaves, smiling in the dark as you replay everything that just happened.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Part XII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Professor Laufeyson loses his composure</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yay! I feel like it's been forever since I updated this story, but it's just been the normal week. Does anyone else feel that way?</p><p>I hope everyone's week is going well! I'm in the second week of school, plus I turned 20 this week. The action really never stops.</p><p>I wanted to tell y'all I started a new multichapter here on ao3! Like this story, I'm working with my beta @ uquroi on it. It's called "The Archetype." It's told in the 2nd person POV but narrated by Loki, and I'm really enjoying writing it. I'm really passionate about it and it's a bit different from my other two works on this site. You also don't have to wait for the smut - it starts in something like the third paragraph ;) I'd love for you to check it out!</p><p>Okay, onto today's chapter. Happy reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Spill.” Natasha says on your way to Loki’s class. You throw a confused look at her. “Don’t act dumb.” she chastises you. “We both know what’s going on. I haven’t seen you in ages, and yet, you’re smiling more, you’re less stressed…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t think those two things are related?” Natasha gives you one of her signature glares, and you laugh. “Seriously though, it seems like everyone is saying that.” Natasha’s head snaps up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who else said that?” She asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanda, she’s in my lab with Dr. Stark.” Wanda hadn’t been so blunt. She asked you if there was someone you liked at the moment, because you seemed happier. When you told her yes, but you weren’t ready to talk about it yet, Wanda said she felt the same way. She then promised that the day you told her about your partner (that was the word she used, but was that what you and Loki were? You had been on a couple dates now, but that didn’t mean much. Or it meant everything. Ugh), she would tell you about hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda was the best. You really did need to introduce her to Nat at some point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Natasha pauses. “Well, that just means I have another reason to believe you’re seeing someone. You’re practically glowing. I know it must be good dick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god!” You exclaim. “Nat!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha laughs evilly, tossing her arm over your shoulder. You roll your eyes, but accept the embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, this is a very prestigious university.” You tell her, quoting the student handbook you had both made fun of multiple times. “And such language is not tolerated-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck off.” Natasha says. “The only professor here who would ever actually care is Laufeyson.” You sigh. That day Loki had called you out for talking during class really had rubbed her the wrong way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true. Professor Rogers mentions the language rule in his syllabus.” You think back on your history course with him. “Although, it really just depends on the day whether or not he cares. He’s very inconsistent in that sense.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like him.” Natasha says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We all do.” You respond as the two of you sit down in your usual desks. Loki is writing something on the board (he still uses a chalkboard. You think it’s adorable. Also deplorable on the administration's part. White boards were only, like, a hundred and fifty dollars. They could shell it out). You try not to let yourself notice the way his veins are so pronounced on his hands, or the tight suit pants that perfectly sculpt his-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just hope this guy, whoever he is, is nice.” Natasha says. “Because the last one-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know.” you shush her. “But you don’t have to worry. I’m a big girl, Nat.” Natsaha nods, which makes you mentally breathe a sigh of relief. “Besides, I’ve never even seen him in a bad mood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, class.” Loki greats everyone. His eyes meet yours, and you look away, but still feel his gaze on you. “To accomplish a more… entertaining approach to today’s discussion of symbolism, we will be watching a couple episodes of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Over The Garden Wall</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Loki flicks off the lights. “Pay especially close attention to the black turtles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s trying to fool us. Or maybe draw attention to the fact that symbolism is blown out of proportion in English classes.” You whisper to Nat. “The creators have said multiple times the turtles don’t actually mean anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha gives you what can only be described as a friendly scowl, like she wants to ask how you knew that, but couldn’t actually care less. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, it’s right after you tell Nat that Loki doesn’t get angry you see him upset for the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe upset is too strong a word… Stressed? Disgruntled? When you visit him in his office, Loki is typing harshly on his laptop, brow furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” you ask. Loki looks up, almost as if he hadn’t noticed you come in. “You seem on edge.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki meets your gaze, then scoots his chair back a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine. Thank you.” he adds. “Just handling some things I should have done before this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” you falter. “Do you need me to leave? I totally get it if you do.” you begin to pick up your bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No.” Loki says firmly. You stand, unsure of what to do. Loki’s gaze softens. “Come here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You oblige, making your way towards Loki. He pulls you onto his lap - an impressive feat, on his office chair. He presses his lips to yours, warmly embracing you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this why we watched a Cartoon Network show in class today?” you ask in a small voice when he pulls away. “Because something is…” you want to say wrong, but Loki had already told you he was fine. You don’t want to seem like you aren’t listening to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bit.” Loki admits, his finger running from your shoulder to your hip. You shiver each time the curve of your breast is traced. “It wasn’t completely random, you know. I assign shows such as that for extra credit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. I understand.” You let yourself relax against Loki, threading your arms around his shoulders. “Oh my gosh, Loki.” you say. His muscles are taut, so wound up you can feel it with the smallest touch. “You’re tense.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing.” Loki places a kiss to your collarbone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s something.” you retort. “You need to go to someone, or do some yoga…” you begin to massage Loki’s neck, and his eyes flutter shut as soon as you do. You smirk. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Told you so</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Just. Something. There’s no way it’s good-”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You find a knot, and task yourself to work it out, but when you try, Loki </span>
  <em>
    <span>groans</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not quiet, or subtle, and it’s easy to tell neither of you were expecting it. Loki’s eyes snap open, and he looks furious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, he looks hungry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki scoops you up, lifting you onto the desk so you’re splayed out in front of him. It knocks the wind out of you for a second, and you barely have time to recover before Loki places his lips against yours in a way that makes you breathless. Your teeth clash, and Loki pins a knee between your thighs. You moan into his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” he pulls away, panting. Loki’s eyes are blown out and dark, and you can see the bulge growing in his pants. You nod. This was going to be a hell of a de-stressor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki kisses you again, his fingers teasing the hem of your shirt. You lift your arms up, letting Loki toss your tee away and quickly unhook your bra, leaving you topless in front of him </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So beautiful.” he says, rolling one of your nipples between his fingers. Your breath hitches. “Your body truly is amazing.” he teases the bud, making you keen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You prop yourself up on your elbows, reaching towards Loki’s pants. Loki takes your wrists, and carefully (delicately, you could easily stop him if you wanted to) pushes you back down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me.” he says. You nod, and even though there are pens and paper clips and whatever else digging into your skin, you lay back down on the desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki unzips his pants and tugs his briefs down, letting his cock spring free. You find your mouth watering at the sight of it. It’s swollen, hard as ever with a few drops of precome. You feel a surge of pride as you remember that you were (somehow) responsible for making Loki feel this good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki begins to stroke himself, slowly until his breath just barely catches. He leans over you, one hand above your head as the other pleasures himself. Loki presses his forehead against yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was Harder than usual to see you in class today.” he says in a strained voice. “I wanted nothing more than to dismiss everyone and whisk you away. Drive to that apartment of yours, where no one could bother us.” you close your eyes, thinking of all the things you and Loki could do in your room. You let out a sigh thinking about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You drive me crazy every time I see you.” you tell Loki. “I couldn’t stop looking at your hands today… Couldn’t stop thinking of your fingers inside me.” your face heats up at your confession, but Loki exhales and strokes himself faster, giving you confidence. “Whenever I see you, I think about how I wish we would leave so we could…” you trail off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we could… what?” Loki growls. You look at him, wide-eyed and out of breath. Carefully, you reach between your bodies, placing your hand over Loki’s and finding the same pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you could be inside me again.” you say, turning to hide your face. You move your wrist, faster than Loki was, letting him keep up. Loki’s eyes screw shut, his mouth falling open as he pants. “Y- You’re so beautiful.” you tell him. “I love watching you… love being in this room with you, chasing our high.” a shiver runs through Loki, and you smirk. He liked being told he was good. You couldn't hold it against him. Who didn’t? “You make me feel so good, Loki. Better than I ever have before.” you bite your lip. “Probably better than I’ll ever feel again. I think you might have ruined me. I’m not even mad at you for that...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This brings your professor to the edge. Loki stifles a noise and cums, spilling over your joined hands and your belly. You’re almost surprised when he hunches over you, sticky ropes continuing to coat you. And so fast, he had come in seconds. You underestimated how </span>
  <em>
    <span>wound up</span>
  </em>
  <span> Loki had been. You both moan, and you shudder at the thought of Loki orgasming at the thought of being with you. You’re reaching towards him to ask if everything’s alright, hold him for a moment. In turn, Loki runs a thumb over your bottom lip, and he looks like he’s about to say something, when -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a meeting.” he says. You sit up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” you ask. Loki puts himself away, then hands you your clothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m terribly sorry.” he says apologetically. He helps you fasten your bra, which no guy has ever done before. Despite the sudden panic, the gesture stands out. “I completely forgot.” he kisses the tip of your nose. “I promise this won’t happen again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I - it’s okay,” you say, a bit dazed. You finish getting dressed. Loki leads you towards the door, and locks it behind you both after you exit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did well.” he tells you. There are a couple other people in the hallway. You meet Loki’s eyes. “Our meetings are getting better and better. I’m thrilled by what I’ve seen from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s something about all this: the way Loki’s watching you, talking to you out in the open, the fact his dried cum is still on your stomach… You don’t trust yourself to form coherent sentences, so you just nod your head, sending Loki a look you hope conveys it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re pretty sure it does. As you leave the building, you look up at the sky and grin. You’re not entirely sure what just happened, but you’ll be damned if you don’t want it to happen again. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Part XIII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you give Loki something to keep in his office</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope everyone is doing well this week! It's going by super fast for me. Anyone else feel the same?</p><p>Be sure to say hi to my beta @ uquroi on ao3. They're making this story possible! You're also always welcome to visit me at my tumblr, @ thelokiimaginechronicles. Come say hello! :)</p><p>Thank you all so much for the comment and kudos, they help me so so much! This story is growing pretty fast and it's super exciting for me. You guys are the best!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>This was only going to be as embarrassing as you made it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The box is buried deep (deep) in your bag, because if someone saw it you would probably lose your mind. Logically, you knew it was no big deal. This is necessary to what you and Loki did. What you guys were becoming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is an adult. You were an adult. This was an adult thing. So no big deal, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki notices that you’re acting weird the second you step into his office. He gives you an amused look, walking over to you and placing his hands on your arms. They’re strong, and warm. You melt a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on sweetheart?” Loki doesn’t sound concerned. To an outsider, that may seem callous, but it made you kind of giddy. He knew that while you were off, it wasn’t serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You liked that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uh…” you clear your throat. Loki leads you to the couch, where you both sit down. You just need to bite the bullet. You reach into your bag, pulling out the box and setting it unceremoniously on Loki’s lap. “Just. Here. To keep in your office.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki takes the box in his hand, looking it over, and bursts out laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay haha, I get it.” Your face burns. Loki grins, shaking his head, then sets a hand on your knee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I just… Condoms? You were that worried about giving me condoms?” Loki asks. You refuse to meet his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, not every guy on campus is as mature about this as you are, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Professor Laufeyson</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” You retort, still managing to keep your tone playful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to tease you for caring about your sexual health, darling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, do not say it like that. You sound like a gynecologist.” You roll your eyes. You finally look at Loki, his eyes bright and (as always, because you somehow just keep getting that lucky) fixed on you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he says. You scoff. “I’m serious.” Loki's hand begins to move up, coaxing your legs apart. Your eyes dip. “Would it help if we… put one of these to use?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I -” your voice hitches. Loki licks his lips. “I feel like I might have ruined the mood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you?” Loki asks and leans in, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your neck. You clutch his biceps. “And how did you manage that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your eyes drift shut, one of your hands reaching into the collar of Loki’s shirt. “I… compared you to a gynecologist. Referenced other guys.” Loki presses your back to the arm of the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Other guys, you say?” Loki wedges his knee between your legs. “You’re making me quite curious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are not talking about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll come back to it.” You roll your eyes at Loki as he uses a phrase you’ve heard him say approximately a million times curing class. Still, his smooth voice and long fingers have gotten you worked up, and you eagerly help Loki rid himself of his shirt and your pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You unbuckle Loki’s belt, meeting his eyes. Loki gives you a sharp nod, letting you take off his last couple layers. You tuck a strand of hair behind Loki’s ear, grinning at him. Your hand traces Loki’s neck, collarbone, hip, dipping down lower and lower until you’re holding his cock in your hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You give Loki a few strokes, watching his mouth fall open. He grows harder in your palm, and before you can do anything else, Loki is reaching into the box of condoms and ripping one open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rolls it on as your body begins to flush with excitement. He dips down, teasing and biting your thighs as he makes his way closer and closer to your core. Your heart beats against your chest, and you hope Loki doesn’t let his hands wander up. You’re still finding yourself embarrassed at how much you want him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s non-stop, too. You think of him all the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki catches your lips in a quick embrace, his hips lining up with yours. He’s just barely outside your entrance, and Loki finds your hand to intertwine your fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you going to be okay?” He asks, breath hot against your skin. “I know last time-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” You nod, cupping Loki’s face in your hands. “Promise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Assured, Loki braces himself with a hand on either side of your head, effectively trapping you. Not that you’d want to escape. Everything you have, everything you need is right here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki eases himself into you, sliding in slowly and watching you closely. You can tell he’s worried he’ll hurt you, looking for cues that you may need him to slow down like he did last time. But you don’t. Your body greets Loki, adjusting and remembering every part of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki draws back just enough to roll his hips forward, causing your walls to clench and back to arch. You let out a moan, which cuts through the silence of the room instantly. Loki freezes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you lock the door?” He asks, panting slightly. You swallow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” You tell him. “Yeah, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Loki has stilled completely inside you. You fidget. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said yes,” you say with a little more force. Loki won’t look at you, he’s looking past your shoulder and towards the door. “Hey.” You murmur when you see the concerned look on Loki’s face. He glances back to you, eyes softening as soon as they meet yours. Just barely, you feel Loki relax. You place a hand over his sternum, looking at him assuredly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” Loki apologizes. “I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Your hands begin to run over the plane of Loki’s chest.  “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have gotten tense. It’s just, the lines are kind of starting to blur now. It’s easy to forget that people…” you trail off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your thumb flicks over Loki’s nipple, and he hisses. You look back up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trying to forget what just happened, you repeat the motion, feeling Loki’s cock twitch inside you. You smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feel good?” You ask, please to have found a sensitive spot on your professor. Loki looks like he’s caught between embarrassment and excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You roll your hips, urging Loki to pick up where he left off. Loki blinks. He begins mirroring your actions, gradually taking back control and setting a pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You pull Loki down, wanting to be closer to him, and as his body falls on yours, you feel better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You urge Loki to go faster, harder. Adrenaline from Loki’s fear of getting caught spurs you on, guiding Loki with your hands on his hips. He ventures deeper inside you with each thrust, exploring places you didn’t know existed before now. You don’t even realize how loud you’re being until Loki covers your mouth with a palm, stifling your cries. You’re surprised at first, almost upset, but Loki keeps his eyes on yours from above you, guiding you and keeping you both safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With Loki’s hand keeping the noises to a minimum, you let yourself go, moaning with every roll of hips, yelping with every bite that leaves a mark on your neck. Loki growls against your skin at one point, which almost drives you insane with want. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look at Loki, illuminated by the single light, naked and slick with sweat and arousal. The sight drives you over the edge, and your fingers dig into Loki’s skin as you come, your whole body shaking. Loki is quick to follow, letting you tug on his hair as he finishes inside you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You both stare at each other for a moment, almost in shock, until Loki stands up. You see him attempt to clean himself up a bit, then get dressed. You pull your jeans back on, but let yourself admire Loki. He turns around just time to see the small smile on your lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He beckons you towards him, and you walk over to him, buttoning his dress shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Loki bumps his nose against yours. You let out a laugh. “If this is what embarrassment leads to, you should embarrass yourself more often.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Part XIV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Loki sees you</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all! Hope everyone's doing well. Can you believe we're almost done with the first month of 2021? I can't.</p><p>I just ended my first Loki multichapter, "She Shall Have" on ao3. Something I did for that fic was compile a playlist inspired by the story and chapters for my readers to listen to. I've made a playlist for "A Study In Suit" as well, and if anyone is interested, I'll put the link in the actual chapter (because I don't know how to link things in the chapter notes, haha!). If you come across a song you think fits the vibe of this story, tell me in the comments, and maybe I'll put it on the playlist! This playlist isn't in any particular order either, so you'll absolutely find some foreshadowing in there by way of song/song titles... ;)</p><p>Be sure to go visit my beta, @ uquroi. They're also working with me on my new Loki x reader "The Archetype" and if you haven't checked either out, you totally should ;)</p><p>Again, thank you bunches for all the comments and kudos. They make me so happy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>// <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/285WDZx3lGlWdmwG165JD0">A Study In Suit playlist</a> // </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You’re beginning to really like Loki’s office. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was almost perfect.Filled with the smell of old books and pine (you were almost certain Loki wore cologne), and Loki kept the heater on so it was warm. You always felt like you were in a log cabin when you were in the small room. It looked like a setting straight out of a Donna Tartt novel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only downside was the threat of being caught. Sometimes it was thrilling - but more often than not, it was just worrisome. The closer you and Loki got, the more he seemed to fret about it. You weren’t really sure what to do. You always invited him to your place again, even alluded to going to his. Loki dismissed the idea every time. Not in a cruel way. He would give you a chuckle, press a kiss to your lips. He knew that made your head spin. By the time he’d pull away, you’ll have forgotten what you were talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, sometimes you and Loki would just. Hang out. You didn’t always have to be sleeping with each other. You liked that. Not many other people you had been with valued what was going on inside your head the way Loki seemed to. It was nice. It kind of made you nervous, if you thought about it too much. Could you keep up with a man as smart as Loki? You weren’t going to think about it right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right now, Loki was laying on his tiny couch, your back against his chest. One of Loki’s arms rests on your stomach, the other tracing the lines on one of your hands. You were reading a book Loki had just assigned, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Small Island</span>
  </em>
  <span> by Andrea Levy (“literature exists outside of America.” He said earlier in class with his perfect voice and accent. You supposed he would know). It started out slow, but the more pages you turned, the more invested you became.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your mind kept wandering to Loki, wondering what he was doing. You knew he had no book, no laptop. He was just holding you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” You ask. Loki lets out a breath, and you feel his lips against your neck. You smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfectly fine,” he responds, his arm tightening around you. “Why do you ask, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just… you’re not really doing anything.” You don’t want to bore Loki. That was the last thing you wanted to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki hums. “I’m spending time with you. Appreciating the quiet. I swear, everyone your age always has to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> something. Can I not just enjoy your company?” He teases. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You set the book down, then turn to face Loki. You end up straddling him as a grin begins to form on Loki’s lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can.” You say. You start to run your fingers over the contours of Loki’s muscles. You know him well enough now that you can do it over his shirt. “Just don’t be hiding anything from me, okay? If there’s something you want to tell me, just do it. Even if it’s something like being bored. Or tired. I don’t know.” You trail off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki tilts your chin up, forcing you to look at him. There’s still a hint of playfulness on his features, but something else now too. Loki runs his thumb over your bottom lip, scoffing lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart, you’re just about the only one I’m not hiding anything from. Smart girl like you. Don’t you ever wonder how the university would react if they knew I was in love with one of my students?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your stomach jumps, but your gaze falls to your lap when Loki says that. You start to smile again. You’re just about to say something when Loki stands up, sliding you off his lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” You exclaim. Loki laughs as he walks to his desk and opens one of the drawers. He takes out a small piece of paper, then brings it back to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going to be studying this poem in class in a few weeks,” he says. “It reminds me of you. It’s… not the most positive piece of writing out there. But I hope you know this is not how I see you. This is how I watch others perceive you, and I promise to never do the same.” Loki’s voice softens. He hands you the poem. “Read it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You swallow, taking the paper. </span>
  <em>
    <span>In An Artist’s Studio</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Christina Rossetti. You’d never heard of the author. You clear your throat, then read it out loud. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One face looks out from all his canvases,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One selfsame figure sits or walks or leans:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We found her hidden just behind those screens,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That mirror gave back all her loveliness.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A queen in opal or in ruby dress,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A nameless girl in freshest summer-greens,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A saint, an angel — every canvas means</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The same one meaning, neither more or less.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He feeds upon her face by day and night,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And she with true kind eyes looks back on him,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fair as the moon and joyful as the light:</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not wan with waiting, not with sorrow dim;</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not as she is, but was when hope shone bright;</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not as she is, but as she fills his dream.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” You blink. Loki watches you. “You’re right,” you manage a laugh. “It’s not a particularly happy poem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you… understand it?” Loki asks. You roll your eyes. Then you regret it. Maybe you were interpreting it wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s about a muse, right? An artist’s subject. Her painter has made her out to be something she’s not. </span>
  <em>
    <span>We found her hidden just behind those screens.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>You look to Loki for encouragement. He nods, a hand coming to rest on your knee. You continue. “He fell in love with an idea, his idea, of this girl. So she’s competing with an idealized version of herself and…” </span>
  <em>
    <span>The same one meaning, neither more or less. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You trail off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You think about the man from the bar a few months ago. All the goals your family had made for you to reach. You think of the amount of times you had been told “you aren’t what I expected” by people you wanted to like. The overall entitlement people felt towards you - a version of yourself they created. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” Loki scoots closer to you on the couch, “you always seem to capture everyone’s attention-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I can never keep it.” You finish for Loki. He looks surprised, and sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You kept mine.” He tells you quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look down at the poem, then fold it carefully into a square. You see Loki’s handwriting on the back. It’s a simple to and from, your name next to Loki’s. You tuck the paper safely into your bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You wanted to hate the poem. You almost did. You hated what it represented by itself. But it made you feel heard. Maybe validated was a better word? And Loki being able to recognize how you were feeling, not to mention his promise, it made you feel seen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart?” Loki asks. You meet his eyes, and your heart swells. You’re overwhelmed with the need to feel Loki, touch him, thank him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You toss your arms around Loki’s shoulders, burying your face in his neck. Loki is tense for a moment, but you feel him relax against you. His arms wrap around your waist, holding you tight and hugging you back. You close your eyes. The sounds of Loki’s even breath fill your ears as Loki slips his hands under your shirt. The contact makes you feel closer to Loki, safe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stay there, holding Loki in your arms and being held by him for longer than you can count. Loki’s grip on you gets stronger and stronger until you have to pull away to catch your breath. The top buttons of Loki’s dress shirt are open, and you press a kiss to the base of his throat before you lean back. Loki sighs in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re,” you try to find the words to describe what you’re feeling. “You’re really cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your face is beginning to heat up in embarrassment when Loki laughs. He reaches out, twirling a strand of your around his finger before kissing it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s quite the compliment.” He says. Loki’s leaning in, leaving little space between the two of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waits for you to close the gap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You do, grabbing the belt loops of Loki’s and throwing your weight back. You end up lying on the couch, Loki’s hands on either side of your head as he kisses you. You part your lips, letting Loki’s slick tongue press against your own. Loki smiles against your mouth, and it’s contagious as you smile back. You arch your back, asking Loki to deepen the kiss, and he obliges, stealing your breath away as if it didn’t even mean anything to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki positions himself between your legs, his weight pressing evenly on you. His chest lays atop yours, and you can feel every hitch, rise, and fall. You begin to let yourself become entirely wrapped up in Loki, his smell, his touch, his sentiment. You just feel so good, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be with him. You want him to know that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki bites down on your lip, worrying the area and drawing out a small cry from you. You clutch his waist, then move your arms so they’re around his shoulders like before. You keep trying to pull Loki down, bring him closer to you, but he’s already as close as possible. Still, you keep trying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki?” You say. He looks at you, tracing the curve of your cheek with his thumb. He listens. “I really like this. I appreciate you. A lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki smiles, his eyes softening. He brings your palm to his mouth, giving you a feather-light kiss. Your eyes drift shut as Loki trails his kisses over the inside of your wrist, up your arm until he’s nuzzling the crook of your neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” he murmurs, lips brushing the shell of your ear, “that I can’t let you participate in next week’s discussion about this poem, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a breath, turning your head so you can kiss Loki’s temple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I can deal with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki smiles, and you can tell he's fighting the urge to laugh. Not at you, though. In all honesty, you don't think you would care even if he did.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I do not own "In An Artist’s Studio" by Christina Rossetti. However, I would really encourage you all to go read and analyze the poem on your own. The poem will definitely show up on the list of literary works referenced in this fic when it ends. </p><p>What did you think of this chapter? This and the next one are some of my and my beta's favorites so far. Let me know!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Part XV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you and Natasha catch up</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all! Hope everyone's doing well. This is a bit of a different chapter, and I hope you guys like it. I definitely had a good time writing it.</p><p>I want to give a huge shoutout to @ uquroi, my beta, because they're the best! </p><p>If anyone wants to come visit me on tumblr, you can do so @ lowkeyorloki. I just changed my url to match this profile! Consistency is key ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“What do you think so far?” You ask Natasha. She sighs, leaning over in her desk to pull </span>
  <em>
    <span>Small Island</span>
  </em>
  <span> out of her backpack. Loki stands at the chalkboard, writing down key terms. You wonder if he looked at you when you walked in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About the book?” She asks. “It’s good. One of the better things Professor Laufeyson has made us read. But I mean, something being better than </span>
  <em>
    <span>1984</span>
  </em>
  <span> and random poems isn’t that hard.” You roll your eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The poems aren’t random, you know. They’ve all been about the female experience? And we just finished </span>
  <em>
    <span>Annie John</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They’re directly related to each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not as much of a nerd about this stuff. Engineer major, remember?” You lean back in your seat. Natasha had a point. “It’s not my fault the school wouldn’t let me take a lower English class. And… Listen, you know how I feel about Professor Laufeyson.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look at Loki when Nat says that. He doesn’t seem like he’s listening, still working at the board. You hope he didn’t hear your friend. The chances of Natasha’s words having a profound effect on your professor were low, but still. No one liked to hear negative things about themselves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed like Nat had never forgiven Loki for telling you two to be quiet a couple months ago. But you knew that couldn’t be it - There was no denying Natasha could hold a grudge, but she also knew how to pick her battles. There had to be something else, and that made you curious. What made you even more curious was that you didn’t know what that something else was. Nat told you everything, the only person closer to her than you was Clint. You weren’t used to not knowing everything about her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You must look unhappy, because Nat sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, the book is great.” She tells you. “Funny, even, if you know how to read it. I like Gilbert a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” You agree and move on, not wanting to explore the depths of your friendship with Nat three minutes before class started.  “I’m not wild about the parts narrated by Bernard though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, me either.” Nat scrunches her nose. You laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“BBC did a mini-series of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Small Island</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Bernard was played by Benedict Cumberbatch.” You found that on a google search, somewhat accidentally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm.” Nat taps a pen against her chin. “You know, he kind of looks like Dr. Strange over in the nursing program.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink. She’s totally right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” you say, somewhat in awe. “I think you just single-handedly solved the mystery of why so many undeclared majors end up in the medical field by the end of their sophomore year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so glad future health care providers had such great reasons to go into that field.” Nat raises an eyebrow. You laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you.” You tell her. “We haven’t hung out in forever. It’s Friday, right? What are you doing tonight?” Nat looks at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like I’ll be coming over to your place.” She says. You grin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure about that? When we stopped being roommates you told me you never wanted to see a place I lived in again.” Nat glares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, you’re closer to campus than I am. Besides,” she adds. “Your apartment is next to that good shawarma place.” You almost throw your hands up in bewilderment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really do think it’s weird Dr. Stark just gives out restaurant recommendations. And that you listened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m his TA.” Nat deadpans. “And it’s good. Besides,” she adds. “Dr. Stark is just kind of someone you have to humor.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not.” You tell Natasha before she’s taken off her shoes. She scowls. She hadn’t even said anything yet. She didn’t need to, you knew exactly what was coming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is why we couldn’t live together.” She tells you. She drops her backpack, carrying her shawarma to your couch. She kicks an unfolded blanket away then sits down. “You’re too messy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” you repeat. “I’m just not that worried about a couple books or unwashed dishes.” You join Natasha, less than thrilled about her choice of cuisine but excited to be around her again - outside of campus, at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you imagine if freshman year us knew we were gonna be friends? I think I would have thrown a hissy fit, I hated you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for the reminder Nat.” You say. Natasha looks at you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on. You know you’re my favorite person now. But neither of us were super fun to be around when we were 18.” She snickers. “Luckily, no one is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nat’s right. You definitely hadn’t gotten off to the best start. You think back to your freshman year, how rough that first semester was. Now you knew that being randomly assigned a roommate by the school was a nightmare situation to Natasha, who valued her privacy and solitude. But you weren’t close to her back then, and took it personally when Nat got mad at you for leaving your bag in front of the door or listening to music without earbuds in. It wasn’t that those things in particular had annoyed her, but that it was a stranger doing it. Intentional or not, you had been invading Natasha’s space (which was impossible not to do in a dorm room. Still, you absolutely could have tried harder). It all culminated when you stumbled back into the room at an admittedly disgustingly early time in the morning, drunk for the first time. Nat lost it, screaming at you being inconsiderate and annoying a whole bunch of other things. You retaliated, saying she was weird and territorial and that it was no wonder she didn’t have many friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suffice to say, once you let it all out, you were inseparable. You had gone to a coffee shop the next morning, desperate for something other than cafeteria eggs. Nat told you she had grown up in foster care, and basically the whole reason she had come to this college was to finally get some time for herself. You felt bad when Nat told you that: you totally understood her anger at you. You were also impressed. This wasn’t an easy school to get into, and Natasha came on a last minute decision. She was really smart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she hadn’t even picked a major yet. The obvious choice would have been dance, seeing as her foster families had forced her into ballet. But that just made Natasha hate it. She would despise you for saying it, but Natasha’s freshman year had been something like a coming of age film for her. She took Dr. Stark’s Intro to Mechanics with you the next semester, and she excelled. She declared Engineering as her major just months before you two moved out of the dorms, which was the best thing you could have done for your friendship. You spent more time with Natasha now than you ever had when you lived together, and to this day, you’ve never seen Nat lose her temper the way she did that night. You didn’t think you ever would again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” Natasha bumps her knee against yours. You blink. “Pay attention to me. You’re the one who dragged me over here.” You roll your eyes. “Too busy thinking about your mystery guy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no!” You exclaim with fake horror. “You’re way too distracting for that.” Nat snorts. “Remember when Bruce thought we were dating? I’ll never get over that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear, it’s like he’s two different people sometimes.” She responds. “He’s one of those guys who’s way too smart on paper but has like. No knowledge on anything outside of school.” A wave of guilt overcomes you. It had been way too long since you talked to your best friend - </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> talked to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, I’m assuming things aren’t going great with him?” You ask. Natasha tenses. She puts her food on the coffee table, then begins to pick at her nails. They’re always red and bloodied, your friend’s only visible sign of stress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s… Not really that.” She admits. You wonder if she’s going to keep talking. You never pry at Nat, you don't need to. She knew her limits well, and was more than capable of figuring out when she needed to get everything out. You can tell this is one of those times. “Every time I think I’m happy, every time I think I’ve moved on, I just can’t. I still have it in my mind that Clint is coming back. I still think I’m part of the reason why he doesn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mention of Clint makes everything feel different. You bite your lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” You scoot closer. Nat won’t look at you. “You know that’s not true. You’re the only thing that kept him grounded his last year here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It always broke your heart to see Natasha talking about Clint. She didn’t do it much, and it was only ever with you. Clint and Nat met through Dr. Stark, and bonded over a similar upbringing. Clint was Stark’s TA, the same position Nat had now, and was a few years older than you both. Of course, he was ready for graduation before the two of you. He had a job lined up, not to mention was graduating with honors… it was all ruined with one class. One professor who failed him. Natasha wouldn’t tell you who, and she wouldn’t give you any more information. That was all you knew. It was some type of core class Clint had been putting off since his freshman year, and failing it delayed his graduation. Clint’s job offer expired and he dropped out. Left campus, and the state, to move on. That’s how angry he was. Angry enough to leave Natasha. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was horrible to watch. All you did, all you could have done, was hold Nat’s hand as she refused to cry. Sometimes you were furious at Clint for what he did. It never lasted. There was no one to blame for what happened. No one that you knew, at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’re right.” She agrees. “I mean, logically I know it wasn’t me who made him leave. But I didn’t make him stay, either. I wasn’t enough.” Nat doesn’t cry, but she does come close. Her white skin is blooming with patches of red, her harsh stare looking anywhere but you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat,” you whisper. “Shut the fuck up.” You say it softly, with feeling, your tone not at all matching the words. Nat can’t help it, she laughs. She blinks a few times, smirking and shaking her head. You continue. “You and Clint were the most perfect couple this world has ever seen, and I’m sure Clint sobs over you every single night. It was a shitty situation, but he didn’t leave you. Not intentionally. It wasn’t something either of you could have stopped.” If this was another one of your friends, maybe Wanda, you would have pulled them into a hug. But this was Nat, and if you did that, she would probably toss you over her shoulder and onto the floor. Ballet had left her musclely. And poised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That professor was the ultimate cockblock.” She says, and then it’s your turn to laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, for sure.” You snicker. Natasha looks better. You smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” She clears her throat and wipes her eyes. “If we’re gonna talk about guys, you have to tell me about yours. Come on, I’m dying over here.” She crosses her arms. You don’t say anything. “Fine. At least tell me if he goes here. Do I know him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, too late, I saw it in your face. I totally know him. Who is it?” Natasha looks wicked, devious as she leans forward. “Is it Peter? Peter Parker?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a freshman.” You deadpan. Nat seems unfazed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Peter Quill?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s with Gamora. How do you not know that? He never stops talking about her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s Gamora?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She-” Gamora owned a tattoo shop downtown. She wasn’t a student. “It doesn’t matter. No, not Peter Quill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Luke Cage?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He started dating Jessica from Psychology at least a year ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine.” Nat says, as if Luke Cage and Jessica Jones’s relationship personally offended her. She picks her shawarma up and resumes eating it, and that’s when you know Nat is truly okay again. Interrogation aside, that was really all you needed. Cautiously, you begin to speak again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” You say more seriously this time. You hold out your hand. Natasha looks at you weirdly, but places hers in it. “No matter what happens - Bruce, Clint, even my mystery guy,” you clutch her hand. “It’s you and me against the world, Romanoff. I’m with you ‘till the end of the line.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Part XVI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which there is just Loki</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Be sure to show some appreciation for my beta @ dilfism y'all! Also, for anyone who read my "She Shall Have" fic, there's a little easter egg in this chapter for ya. Just for fun ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>There was just something so welcoming at this point with Loki. So familiar. He could do no wrong, suggest nothing so ludicrous. Despite your relationship with Loki, you were still capable of looking at him objectively. Critically. But you had to admit, that was getting harder and harder each day. Loki was like your best friend and boyfriend all wrapped up in one - even if those words didn’t fit him. He was so sure of himself, so smart. Loki conducted himself almost like royalty, so any titles that suggested otherwise seemed to fall short. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s your feelings, which have been guiding your choices more often than not lately, that allow Loki to convince you to let him come over on a Tuesday night. Despite Natasha’s jabs, you were particular about your sleep, especially on school nights. Loki knew this. But still, he had taken your hands in his, kissed the spot on your neck that made you flutter and asked to come over. You protested, telling him you had a paper due the next day, and for his class no less. But Loki had just chuckled, because you didn’t have to tell him your paper had been finished weeks ago. His suspicions were confirmed just a few hours later, as he caught a glimpse of it on your bedside table as he fucked you on your couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the privacy of your apartment, you don’t worry about the noises you’re making. In fact, you’re quite thankful for them. Loki responds well to praise, keening at every compliment and confession of how he makes you feel. You’re taking note of this. You’ll for sure be exploring it later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not a single word that comes out of your mouth is a lie. You had never felt anyone like Loki. No one before him could do what he did, and you at least ninety percent sure no one after him would either. Mentally, you slap yourself. You didn’t want to think about anyone after Loki - especially not while he was literally inside you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You slide your hands down Loki’s back, slick with sweat, and grasp his ass, urging him to go faster. Loki does, thrusting hard as he pants in your ear. You whisper sweet nothings to him, confessions that would never see the light of day until he comes, shaking as his orgasm washes over him in waves. You’re soon to follow, and smile at Loki as he coaxes you through aftershocks. He sucks a bruise on your hip bone, then kisses the area as if that would make it heal faster. Joke’s on him. If you had it your way, hickeys from Loki would never fade.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unlike anyone else, huh?” Loki asks. You’ve both cleaned up, put on your clothes and sat back down on the couch. You’re resting your head on Loki’s shoulder, enjoying the way he’s rubbing your neck. Your hand rests under Loki’s shirt on the taut skin of his stomach. You feel good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm-hmm.” You’re struggling to keep your eyes open. Embarrassing, it was barely 4:00pm. Loki’s stupidly fancy wrist watch told you so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am deciding to take that as a compliment.” He tells you. You let out an exhale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s because you know it is.” You nestle your face into the crook of Loki’s neck. “Your professor prose can’t get past me. I’m not telling you anything if you won’t do the same. I’m not about to give information away for free.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki, picking up on the playfulness in your tone, decides to tease you back. “I can think of other things you give out for free…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You pinch him, and Loki laughs softly before he kisses your forehead. It’s a long, heavy kiss, and you almost think something’s wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t say I’ve been with many people. Not in the way I’m with you, at least.” He says cautiously. You lift your head up, suddenly very awake as your eyes meet Loki’s. He’s… never really talked about his past before. “I’ve always been quite driven. Like you, I have goals. I don’t appreciate distractions.” Almost absentmindedly, Loki keeps rubbing your neck. “The last woman I was with was named Alva. Things didn’t end too well between us. But after that, something… intense, happened, so I had to take a break. And then I met you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You try to say something, but Loki cuts you off with a kiss. You melt into it, accepting Loki’s embrace and placing your hands over his chest. You know Loki likes that. You smile sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened? That made you take a break from dating?” You ask. Loki gives you a sad smile, cupping your cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That,” he tells you. “Is a story for another day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sit back, and Loki snakes his hands over your hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough. But then, tell me, this woman you were with before me… Am I like her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all.” Loki answers almost immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And do you like that about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> that about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can’t help the grin spreading over your features, the pride blooming in your chest. Loki pulls you down so you’re laying with your head on his lap. He traces your lips, still swollen from your previous activities. He’s got just a bit of a smile tugging at his mouth. You know him well enough to know that means he’s even happier than if he were grinning like you were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well?” He asks. You give him an expectant look. He exaggerates a sigh. “What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look at the ceiling, your hand searching for Loki’s until he gives it to you. You squeeze it three times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really know.” You say. Loki is quiet. “I mean, there were some before you,  but… it doesn’t seem to matter much now. Good or bad, before you or after you. I don’t really think about it much anymore. There’s just right now. There’s just you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Your mouth is watering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You have to admit, you never really knew what would happen when you walked into Loki’s office. Sometimes you just talked, but more often than not you had sex. The box of condoms was already half gone (which, on the one hand, was great, because orgasming before or after your classes put you in a much better mood. On the other, condoms were expensive. You hoped Loki would buy a new box soon. You could discuss pretty much anything with him, but the financial woes of college were not on that list. You weren’t married.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>…).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You push </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought quickly out of your head, because you’re stupid to even think about it, and because you want to focus on the task at hand. Or, in your hand. You smile looking at Loki from where you’re kneeling. Loki sits in his desk chair, eyes blown out as he watches you. His knees are pushed apart, in a way Nat would scream was man-spreading. You didn’t particularly care though, because you were perched between Loki’s thighs and holding his cock in both your hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You palm Loki at first, gradually making him harder and harder until his member is red and leaking in your hand. Loki’s doing well at keeping himself composed, but his mouth drops open wider and wider in an ‘o’ shape with every flick of your wrist. You rub your thumb in smooth circles over Loki’s head, cradling his balls with your other hand. Loki lets out a loud moan, a noise that goes straight to your head. You make a humming noise, giving Loki a few long strokes. He hisses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand suddenly covers yours as he tilts your chin up at him. Here, you can take in every detail: the sweat on his brow, the lust in his eyes. You tremble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like,” Loki asks, his voice deep and almost guttural, “knowing you make me feel this way?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink, unsure of what Loki means. Loki begins to guide your hand, pumping him at the perfect pace. You let out a small moan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you do.” Loki says. He keeps his eyes glued on you, and suddenly it’s like you’re in a trance, you can’t look away. “I think you like knowing you’ll come here every day, take your pleasure and give me mine. You can worry, but deep down in that pretty little brain of yours you know there’s no one else for me. That I find you so irresistible I can’t even look at you in class.” A small cry tumbles from your lips. You give the skin behind Loki’s cock some attention, stroking the area so his hips buck. Loki curses. “You enjoy making me come, being the person who makes me this hard and this needy. It’s all you, and you love that.” Loki’s hand and yours are moving so fast Loki’s thighs are shaking. “Say it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right.” You gasp. “I still can’t believe this. Every day I feel like this is some dream, and I’m going to wake up and feel weird. Drop your class or something. But that never happens. I just get to know you better and better, and I become more sure that I’m not making this up.” Loki lets out a choking noise from above you, and squeezes your hand around his cock harder. “And of course I like making you feel this way.” Loki is close, you can tell. You manage to get a few more words out. “Makes me feel so proud. Powerful. And-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You don’t get to finish. Loki comes in your hands, shaking and cradling before he goes limp. You blink, surprised, but have little time to grasp what’s happened. Loki’s reaching towards you, his hand in your mouth. There’s ropes of cum on it. Obediently, you clean it away, swallowing it down as Loki pants. He sits back in his chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unreal.” Loki breathes, tipping his head back with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You nod. He wasn’t wrong. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Part XVII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Loki teaches you a lesson (in more ways than one)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS CHAPTER.</p><p>I have seriously been waiting weeks to post this. It's absolutely my favorite so far. My beta, @ dilfism, is actually a co author for this, and they're awesome. You should show them some love!!</p><p>Dilfism is also an artist, and they drew the little comic of one of the scenes from this chapter!! You'll get to see it once you finish reading. I think it's adorable and I really went 🥺 when I saw it.</p><p>Here is a list of 'words' that you'll need for understand today's chapter. I know it doesn't make sense now, but it should in context.</p><p>Semicoloki- semicolon </p><p>Collokial- colloquial </p><p>Dolokition- diction</p><p>Lokipsis- ellipses </p><p>Rhetoraloki- rhetorical </p><p>Location- lokition</p><p>The English major in me is both proud and ashamed. Mostly proud, though. </p><p>Enjoy!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I don’t care about semicolons,” Natasha whispers. You glare at her, making a </span>
  <em>
    <span>shhh</span>
  </em>
  <span> sound. She scowls. “Since when do you care?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About talking during class? Since you decided to hold the world’s most useless grudge against Professor Laufeyson for asking us to be quiet.” Calling Loki Professor Laufeyson felt weird now. Like you weren’t supposed to say it, almost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not why - Whatever. I mean since when do you care about the intricacies of punctuation?” She asks. You shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since I saw Professor Laufeyson knock three points off your paper because of a comma splice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, you proofread that essay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly. We should both be paying attention.” With a smirk (Loki really was rubbing off on you…) you turn away, and out of the corner of your eye you see Natasha doing the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With your attention returned to Loki, you find yourself slowly beginning to focus more on his lecture rather than Loki himself -which you admittedly hadn't been doing since you started seeing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was animated, as much he would allow himself to be around anyone but you. Loki seemed genuinely interested in what he was talking about. He always did. That was part of why you liked him as a professor so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand the inclination to use a period in place of a semicolon,” he muses, “and I admit: If you plan on using a semicolon incorrectly… don’t.” Loki looks out at the classroom. “Can anyone explain to me the difference between using the word ‘and’ to link sentences as opposed to using a semicolon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one answers. Loki sighs. He walks towards his desk, leaning against it before crossing his arms over his chest. He doesn’t look angry, necessarily, that in a top college level English class no one knows how to use a semicolon. But he does look disgruntled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The answer,” he explains, “is that with ‘and’ we are explicitly told what links the sentences together. As the readers, we made aware - sometimes painfully so - about the connection to the first part of the sentence and the second. There is no room for speculation as to what the connection is. But with semicolons,” Loki clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. It’s distracting, “it’s up in the air. It allows for analysis, interpretation. If used correctly, it lets the reader decide what the connection is.” Loki’s eyes settle on you. “And there’s great value in that. If a writer isn’t using such a tool to their advantage, I would ask them why they call themselves a writer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When you get to Loki’s office that day, his back is facing you as he picks out a novel from his tiny bookshelf. You smile, locking the door (and making a show of it) before you walk over to him, threading your arms around his waist hugging him from behind. Soon enough, you feel one of Loki’s large hands rest over your own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello.” Loki greets you with a smile in his voice. You sigh, letting your forehead fall against Loki’s back. You hold him tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” You say. It’s quiet for a minute, before Loki turns around. He leans against the bookcase, reaching forward and placing his hands on your hips. He’s taken his jacket off. For some reason, it excites you more than usual today. You let out a content sigh. “I liked the lesson. Lecture, I guess.” You tell Loki. He raises an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe you’re the only student who did then.” He responds. You knit your eyebrows. “Maybe even the only one who paid attention. But were you really listening to what I was saying?” the teasing in Loki’s voice is obvious, and you take it as a challenge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I was listening. What else would I have been paying attention to?” you begin to play the buttons of Loki’s dress shirt. “I had no idea you liked semicolons so much, Loki.” You pause, then light up as you think of something. “Semicoloki.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s jaw drops, his eyes wide with shock over the pure stupidity of what you just said. It makes you laugh, so loud you bring your hand over your mouth to muffle yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pardon?” He asks, almost like he hadn’t heard you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, did you not like that?” You ask innocently. “Sorry, that’s just my collokial.” Loki makes a grunting noise, as if what you’re saying is physically paining him. You begin to trace circles in Loki’s chest as you talk. “You know professor, your dilokition was really impressive in class today. Maybe the next time you can give us a refresher of lokipsis.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this necessary?” Loki asks, but you’re already mentally high-fiving yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that a rhetoraloki question?” You respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki locks eyes with you, his fingers digging into your hips. You breath hitches. Slowly, your fingers find their way through the gaps of Loki’s shirt left by his buttons, brushing over his bare skin. Loki’s lips part slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re being obnoxious.” Loki tells you, but not before you rub your fingers up and down, roaming the plane of Loki’s chest as much as you can while he still has a shirt on. “I think you should stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” You ask. “Should we move this to another… lokition?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The air in the room seems to go still, your eyes furiously locked with Loki’s. The way he watches you, like you’re some type of prey, sends waves of warmth throughout your body, all leading to your core. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you just say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You pull your hands away, batting your eyes and watching Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make me.” You say, in an embarrassingly obvious smaller voice than before. Loki’s green flash with something feral, and Loki leans in very, very close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go to the desk,” he murmurs, lips brushing your ear. You shiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You obey your professor, taking the few steps to Loki’s desk. Still leaning against the bookshelf, Loki watches you, no expression on his face to be found. His arms are crossed over his strong chest, like he’s completely closed off. Untouchable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You don’t like that one bit. But something tells you that you aren’t the one in control right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turn around,” you do. “And bend over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is right behind you now, you can hear him. Slowly, you bend over, pressing your upper body against the harsh wood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hands roam over your sides, running up your arms and then bringing them down to pin them against the small of your neck. You let out a small grunt at this, to which Loki responds with a hum. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So beautiful,” Loki murmurs, almost like he’s saying it to himself before he leans over you. Suddenly, his voice isn’t as deep as it was a few moments ago. “You’ll tell me, love, if this gets to be too much, correct?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about the way Loki is so insistent that you’re okay when you’re with him makes you even more receptive to anything he could have you do, and you nod as much as you can in your position. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need you to give me a verbal answer, sweetheart.” Loki presses a searing kiss to the nape of your neck. You let out a small </span>
  <em>
    <span>ah</span>
  </em>
  <span> noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… I’ll tell you if something’s wrong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good girl.” Your stomach jumps at Loki’s praise, and you shift under his weight. He chuckles. Loki reaches around your hips, finding the buttons of your jeans and undoing them until your pants are pooled around your ankles. He flicks his fingers over your clothed clit, and you moan, thrusting your hips to meet his touch. “You’re already so wet,” Loki muses, pulling your underwear to the side and dragging his fingers over your folds. “Dripping for me. I’ve barely even touched you...” Loki presses his erection against your ass, and you let out a cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki shoves your underwear down, leaving your sex exposed. You can feel Loki staring, drinking in the sight before him. His breathing becomes laboured, and then you hear the zip of his dress pants as he takes himself out. You crane your neck, trying to see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki drags the head of his cock over your folds, teasing you and causing you eyes to roll back. You want to see Loki, or touch him, but Loki has moved your hands from your back to above your head, keeping you locked and bent over the desk, completely at his mercy. You mewl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” you whine, thrusting your hips in his direction. “Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki tuts, his hands coming to rest in a comforting way over your hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please what?” He asks, rubbing circles over your hip bones with his thumb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Touch me.” You close your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you want me to touch you, love?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I just-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The loud noise of skin on skin echoes throughout the room, you’re cut off in shock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki had </span>
  <em>
    <span>spanked</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And you liked it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your ass burns where Loki smacked it, like his hand was still there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You moan, your body bucking in the air. Searching for that same touch again. Loki sees this, and after uttering dirty promises, he raises his hand and spanks you again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki!” You yelp in ecstasy, meeting his touch halfway. Loki grunts, quickly petting over your ass where you’re sure welts are beginning to form. Loki’s hands are somehow still cool to the touch, calming your skin. You pant underneath him. “Loki,” you begin to say again, but are cut off by a thrust.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki enters you in one swift motion, moving into you with an ease and familiarity that sends your head spinning. You squeeze your eyes shut, tears pricking at the corners as you clench around Loki’s cock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so wet,” Loki bites out. One of his hands travels up your spine, laying at the base of your neck. He keeps it there, steadying you as he pulls out and thrusts back in. “So warm.” Loki groans. “Wet and warm for me. You’re perfect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh…” You don’t know how to respond, so you keep your face pressed against the desk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pulls away and enters again, reaching a spot deep inside you and almost making you scream. As if reading your mind, Loki notices, and presses a hand over your mouth. You bite down on his palm when he hits that spot one last time, like a key fitting perfectly into a lock. You let yourself go, cumming on Loki’s cock and riding it less than gracefully, panting and mewling all the way. Loki comes soon after, tensing and going limp around you with one final grunt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You turn over, laying on your back for a minute as you stare at the ceiling. Loki ties off the condom, quickly disposing of it before he puts himself away. You then put your own clothes back on too, stealing glances at Loki sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki looks back before he tugs you towards his by the wrist. He brings your lips against his, locking you in a surprisingly intimate and chaste kiss, holding you tightly against  him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good girl.” He says when you pull away, smirking when it makes your knees weak. You look away, face heating up. “Well,” he says. “You’d better get going back to that aparteme</span>
  <b>y/n</b>
  <span>t of yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink at Loki, staring in absolute shock as he ushers you out of the office door with a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Later, Nat sits with you, curled up on your couch as you watch an old show. Neither of you are really paying attention, both on your phones and showing the other an occasional post or meme.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These people are talking weird,” she says, eyes flickering to the screen for a moment. Your phone buzzes. You glance at who it’s from, and do a double take. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s from Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You glance at Nat, who’s still waiting for a response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just colokial. It went over a ton of critics’ heads.” You respond, looking at your phone. Natasha blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You clear your throat, your face heating up as you realize your mistake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” You exclaim. “It’s the, um, colloquial. I’m pretty sure that’s an SAT term.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We haven’t been in high school for years…” you hear Natasha muttering, but you don’t pay it much mind. You open the text hastily, realizing you’ve only ever called Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you alright? I wanted to check in after earlier.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You bite your lip, trying to hide your small smile forming so that Nat doesn’t notice anything.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m fine. I feel pretty good, actually. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You take a small breath, your thumbs hovering over the keypad. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could do it, you know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You wait a few minutes for Loki to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do what?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Use a semicolon properly. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You can practically see Loki rolling his eyes down at his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, then give me an example. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>;)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  

</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The technical side of using a semicolon is to connect two independent clauses. But everything else Loki says during this lecture is true as well :)</p><p>I would love to hear what you think of this chapter! Be sure to drop me some kudos, or even better, tell me what you think in a comment :')</p><p>You're also welcome to come visit me on tumblr @ lowkeyorloki , if you're a little shy. Anon messages are on!</p><p>Again, MASSIVE shoutout to @ dilfsim. They're the bestestest.</p><p>See you all next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Part XVIII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which someone finds out</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I hate this class.” You whisper, leaning in close to Wanda so Dr. Stark can’t hear you. She smiles slightly, nodding her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just that he gives the same lecture every day,” she whispers back. “And then we do the same ‘lab’... I’m not sure how many more small engines I can take apart and put back together again before they all look the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You agree, careful to make eye contact with Dr. Stark when he looks your way. If you made sure to do that every now and then he would assume you were paying attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I used to hate the days I have this class,” Wanda murmurs. “But I like my history class after this with Steve Rogers. If you made me pick, I’m team Rogers all the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who wouldn’t be?” You ask with a smile, then feel a pang of guilt. Natasha wouldn’t be. Dr. Stark was her favorite professor on campus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Stark claps his hands together, eyebrows raised. “Let’s get going. And Lang, don’t forget the plastic goggles this time, okay? It’s embarrassing when one of your students is the only person who has to use eye wash.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scott looks embarrassed for a second, but Hope is quick glare at Dr. Stark before she hands Scott a pair of lab goggles.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d you do on your lab report?” You ask Wanda as she ties her long hair up in a bun. She shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine. I just didn’t really understand-” Wanda is cut off by Stark barking your name from his desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh.” You say, standing up. “One sec.” You start to walk away, but Wanda’s hand shoots out to grab your wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, um,” she says awkwardly. “Do you have a pad, by any chance?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda looks embarrassed. You blink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course!” You tell her. “Just,” you gesture towards your bag. “There’s a few in there, take whatever you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda looks grateful as you walk to Stark’s desk. Without any greeting, he starts to say something about Natasha, asking you to see if she could come in after her last class to help grade a few papers. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Wanda leave the classroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I have her number, but it could be weird to text a student, and everyone knows you’re friends.” Dr. Stark is saying. You turn back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, no problem. In fact,” you pull out your phone, texting Natasha and then showing Dr. Stark the text. He leans back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect. Hey, go get your lab partner, will you? I’m pretty sure she walked out of here with her goggles on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” You say, wondering why Stark would be so worried about that, but listening anyway. He could be harder to argue with than Loki sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You walk down the hallways, finding the nearest bathroom and figuring that’s the one Wanda went in. You’re right, and you find her washing her hands at the sink. Wanda’s eyes widen when she sees you, and she looks down. Weird. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” You say. “Dr. Stark was uh, very worried about his lab equipment.” You gesture at the lab goggles resting on the top of her head, like how people wear their sunglasses indoors. She kinda pulls it off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” She grabs a few paper towels, not saying anything else. You knit your eyebrows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay?” You ask. Wanda gives you a strained smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Totally!” She says. You keep staring at her. She begins playing with the necklace around her neck. “Um, just so you know there were a bunch of condoms in your bag.” You freeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit.” You curse. You had brought a handful from your house to leave in Loki’s office. You’d completely forgotten. “Wanda, I’m so sorry-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” She exclaims. “Don’t be. I don’t care. I just, you know, some people would. I didn’t want you to offer anyone else help and have them… find that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s silence for a moment. You shift your weight back and forth on your feet, unsure of what to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Panic is beginning to wash over you. Suddenly, the room feels very hot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re seeing a professor, aren’t you?” Your head shoots up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wha-?” You start talking before you realize what you’re saying. “How did you know?” Wanda bites her lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really know why else you would have condoms in your school bag. Most couples, student couples… well, to my knowledge they don’t have sex on campus. The only safe spot would be an office. A professor’s office.” She clarifies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You back into the wall, leaning against it as shock overwhelms you. You can feel your chest tighten, and you begin to break out in a sweat. You put your hands on your knees, bending over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Wanda rushes over to you. She places a hand on your back, beginning to rub it in smooth circles. “It’s okay, I’m not going to tell anyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you promise?” You ask, your voice strained. Your vision begins to cloud over as you tear up. The idea of losing Loki is becoming very real, very fast, and you just don’t think you could handle-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise.” Wanda murmurs. Unable to hold it in, you let out a single sob, the noise bouncing off the bathroom walls. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Wanda keeps repeating, and you trust her, but you’re not sure if you trust yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What would Loki think?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You straighten, walking over to the sink and splashing water over your face. You see yourself in the mirror, which Wanda soon appears in. You look away. This was fast, this was happening too fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It feels like the whole world is falling apart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” You know you should say no, act like this never happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But you’ve been holding this in for so long. And you know Wanda. She wasn’t going to hurt you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But not here.” You turn around. “How would you feel about skipping next class?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wanda likes chai teas. She makes a face when the barista asks if she wants hers sweetened, and he laughs. Then he promises her he’ll add extra cinnamon on top. It smells so good you order the same thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re silent when you sit down at a table in the corner, staring blankly into your cup. Wanda is so nice, busying herself with other things. Twisting rings around her finger. Letting her hair down. She doesn’t push you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your phone buzzes in your bag, and seeing as it’s at least the third notification, you sigh and pull it out. There’s four texts from Natasha.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>where r u</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>if you’re skipping class w/o telling me i s2g</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>DON’T LEAVE ME HERE ALONE YOU KNOW I HATE P. LAUFEYSON</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you’re dead to me :)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You groan, head falling into your hands. Wanda knits her eyebrows, looking worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” She finally asks. You sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” You admit. “That was Nat. She’s um, upset I’m leaving her alone in class.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Wanda says, knowing full well that wasn’t the reason you were so off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She resumes finding ways to busy her hands. The way Wanda is being so considerate makes you want to break down and tell her everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You weren’t sure you could go that far, but some damage had been done. You take a gulp of tea, then begin to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I don’t know. How I’m feeling right now,” you blink. “We’ve been trying so hard to keep it a secret, and now…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda fliches. “Sorry.” She says. You shake your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault. I should have been smarter about where I put… those. I mean, my bag has more than one pocket.” You stir your tea with a spoon. “I don’t know. Maybe I wanted someone to find out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” Wanda prompts. You take a long breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” You admit. “It’s been really hard not to tell anyone. And I think it’s because we care about each other.” You scoff. “I know it sounds stupid, but it’s not just sex. He’s really smart, and funny, and kind - to me, at least - and it’s hard to explain but I really do lo-” you stop yourself. “Like him.” Wanda smiles sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” She says. “I can tell. Obviously, I didn’t always know it was a professor, but we all knew you’ve been seeing someone for a while. You seem so </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A wave of warmth washes over you when you think of the past few months. You were happy. Maybe the happiest you’ve been at college. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it must be really hard,” Wanda continues, her gentle eyes watching you, “To be that happy and not get to share it with anyone. I’m sorry you’re being put in that position. I’m sure it’s not easy for him either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” You say. “He tends to keep to himself anyways.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda reaches forward, taking your hand in hers and giving it a squeeze. Her hand is warm, and soft, and it’s really comforting. You smile at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” You whisper. She nods, sitting back in her chair. There’s a beat of silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” You perk up. “Don’t you have someone too?” Wanda looks away, a small smile growing on her face. “I knew it! I remembered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a huge deal.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s a couple years older than us. He’s in the masters program, for tech. He’s worked with Dr. Stark.” She wrinkles her nose. “I’m not super sure if they got along, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s his name? I might know of him.” Wanda leans forward, like she’s telling you a secret. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vision.” She whispers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” You say, having absolutely no clue who that was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay. He’s kinda new, that’s how we met. I don’t know, he’s really sweet. Takes care of me. It’s just that apparently the master program is really rigorous, and they don’t like for the students to have distractions.” Wanda trails off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you are pretty distracting.” You joke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Wanda laughs. She takes a sip of her drink. Her eyes are sparkling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Loki.” You say suddenly. Wanda blinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Professor Laufeyson.” You nod. “It’s um, he’s the one I’m seeing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda watches you, processing what seems to be her confusion and figuring out what to say. You begin to feel regret form in the pit of your stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He seems your type.” She says, and you let out a sigh of relief. “Honestly, that’s all there is to it. You’re happy. Isn’t that enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You find yourself grinning at Wanda in no time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” You agree. “I think it is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s nearly 6:00 by the time Wanda drops you back off at campus, and 6:15 when you get back to your apartment. Late enough that there’s not really anyone to see you come home, something you’re thankful for. You just want to take a shower, do your homework, and go to sleep. This day has felt long enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You barely even notice the figure standing in your doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki?” You ask, sounding shocked. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki looks at you, a completely unreadable expression on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t in class.” He says. It’s cold outside, and you can see his breath. You shiver. Loki’s face softens when he sees that. “Let’s go inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You brush past Loki, fumbling with your key before fitting it into the lock. You open the door, stepping inside and letting Loki in too. He doesn’t even take off his coat. You fidget nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on Loki?” You ask. Loki’s mouth drops open in surprise, but the look is quickly replaced with anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” He asks. “You weren’t in class. I have been teaching you since the beginning of the year, and you have never once missed a class period.” You take off your shoes, walking into your living room and turning on the light. Loki follows you. “And I know this is out of the ordinary, not only because I know you,” you look away. “...but because your friend was on her phone the whole time, and I could tell she didn’t expect this either. She wouldn’t stop texting who I’m assuming is you. I had to take her phone away, and you worried us both-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mention of Natasha makes something in you snap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You took Nat’s phone away?!” You explode. Loki blinks. “Leave her alone! What are you, her father?” Loki shrinks at that word. “Her high school teacher?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have no right to comment on how I choose to run my classroom-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “And so what if I wasn’t in class?” You’re having a full on meltdown now, feeling the stress of the entire day crash down on you. “You said it yourself Loki, I’ve never missed class before. Just knock a few points off my grade and call it good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I care about your grade?” Loki’s outrage matches your own. “You scared me. You did something that you have never done, and then I see that your best friend very obviously does not know where the hell you are. You. Scared. Me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stare at Loki, unable to form any words. Unable to think of any that would be appropriate to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You walk over to your couch and sit down. You put your face in your hands, and feel tears on your skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once you realize you’re already crying, you let it all go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You begin to sob, your entire body shaking as you think about all the ways you’d betrayed Loki today. Even if Wanda would never say anything, she still knew about you two. Loki had made it clear no one was supposed to. Then you worried him, to the point he showed up at your apartment, and to top it all off…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You yelled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” You choke out. “I’m sorry, Loki. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ssh.” Loki rushes over to you, gathering you in his arms. “It’s alright.” You can hear the confusion in his voice hidden beneath the worry and attempted comfort. “It’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bury your face in Loki’s chest, squeezing your eyes closed and clutching his shirt between your fingers. You shake in his arms, repeating your apology over and over again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You worried me love, that’s all.” Loki holds you tighter, placing a hand on the back of your neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it wasn’t. You hated yourself, screaming internally that there was someone out there now who knew about this. You betrayed him. You betrayed Loki. It was your fault. It was all your fault</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please stop apologizing, sweetheart.” You hear Loki say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You raise your head, greeted by the sight of Loki staring at you wistfully. He cups your face in his hand, and you lean into his palm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just so sorry.” You say one more time, but Loki presses his thumb over your lips. He shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please stop.” He asks again. “I just need to be sure you’re okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You take a shaky breath and lean in, wrapping your arms around Loki’s shoulders. You tuck your face into the crook of Loki’s neck and close your eyes. Loki’s smell surrounds you, lulling you into a sense of security. He smells like he always does, pine and leather and old books. Now he’s starting to smell like you, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki holds you steady against him, trailing his fingers up and down your back. He’s so warm, and strong, and you just want to stay here forever. No one would know about you if you could just stay in this moment. He slips a hand under your shirt, and the feeling of his calloused hand on your bare skin has never felt so good. The weight of Loki’s strong hand makes you slow down, take deeper breaths. You start to feel less light-headed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pushes you slightly so he can look at you again, smiling sadly and tracing the skin just under your eyes. You’re sure they’re swollen, and forming bags as the fatigue begins to build. You go limp in Loki’s arms, letting him do what he deems necessary. You trust him. You trust Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never letting go of you, Loki shifts down on his back, letting you lay on his chest. You snuggle close to him, listening to his heartbeat. It’s so strong and steady. Loki pulls a blanket over you both, then leaves his hand on the small of your back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” He tells you. “We’re okay now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise?” You ask for the second time that day. Loki presses a kiss to your forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>HUGE shoutout to my beta, dilfism, WHO POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THEIR LOKI FIC THIS WEEK! It's called "once more to see you" and I would REALLY suggest y'all go check it out. It's not only one of the best written fics I've ever read, but it's really just one of the most impressive written works out there, fanfiction or not. Go figure out who the boy on the other side of the lake is...</p><p>I also have another Loki multichapter going, and it ends next Tuesday. It's called "The Archetype" and features smut, brooding, and internal monologues in every chapter. I would love it if you gave it a read!</p><p>I hope your weeks are going well. Can you believe what happened this chapter? Let me know what you think! You know, Professor Laufeyson and I both thrive off kudos and (especially) comments ;) If anonymity appeals to you, feel free to send me an ask at lowkeyorloki on tumblr.</p><p>See you next Thursday!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Part XIX</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Loki insists he helps you relax</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Big ol' shoutout to @ dilfism for being the best beta! Be sure to show them some love and check out their Loki fic. Chapter two was posted this week!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s question brings your attention back to him. You’re sprawled out on his couch, facing Loki’s direction. He sits at his desk, sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he grades a stack of papers. You swallow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say. “Of course.” You flash Loki the biggest smile you can muster. Apparently, it’s not that big, because it doesn’t do the trick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t that anything was wrong. Everything was fine, in fact. But that was almost the issue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda finding out about you and Loki had left you shaken. It wasn’t Wanda specifically knowing that made you so… whatever this was. Worried, but this felt like a much bigger burden than that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda wouldn’t tell anyone about you and Loki. You knew that. But Wanda knowing about the two of you reminded you that that was a possibility. Yes, you and Loki snuck around, taking care to lock doors and muffle noises… Still, you had somehow managed to convince yourself you were safe. No one would ever find out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That safety net had been shattered. Now you couldn’t look at Loki without feeling like it was one of the last times you would. It all felt so temporary now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hated it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart,” Loki's voice is closer. Your eyes snap up, and you see he’s sitting on the couch with you now. You blink. When had that happened? “Look at me.”</span>
</p><p><span>You clear your throat, avoiding eye contact. “You know, I just reached a really good part of the book. </span><em><span>The</span></em> <em><span>Buddha of Suburbia</span></em><span> might be the best thing you’ve taught all year.”</span></p><p>
  <span>Loki hums, placing a hand over your knee. It’s warm. You want to reach forward, put it somewhere else on your body. “I’m quite glad you feel that way,” Loki says with a glint in his eyes. “But your copy of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Buddha of Suburbia </span>
  </em>
  <span>is sitting on the ground, next to your bag. Really, how often have I told you to teach your books with more respect?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Woven into the playfulness of Loki’s tone is worry. You can’t blame him; he’s right. Your book is on the floor, decidedly not in your hands. Ergo, you are not reading it. Obviously so. You sigh, your head dropping forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah-ah-ah.” Loki tuts. He leans forward, cupping your face. You’re forced to look at him. For a moment, you get lost in his eyes. You search them, trying to figure out if they’re blue or green. You can’t decide. “That’s it. Good girl,” there’s no way Loki doesn’t notice the shiver that runs through your body when he says that. “Eyes on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki kisses you, parting your lips and massaging your tongue with his. You place your hands over Loki’s wrists, melting into him as he chases away any semblance of thought. You moan at the relief Loki brings you. You follow him as he pulls away, embarrassed when he smirks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There we go,” he says. “You’re so thoughtful, sweetheart. It’s something I’m quite fond of. But even someone as brilliant as you can think too much. You’re always getting stuck in your head. Something tells me you aren’t very nice to yourself in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s starting to get worried as he talks, and you reach out to smooth the frown off of his face. He catches your palm with a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” you murmur. You rest your hands on the insides of Loki’s thighs, almost absentmindedly. “I’m just stressed about school, I guess.” It wasn’t technically a lie. You decide not to feel guilty about that one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki nods solemnly, as if he expected you to say that. He pulls you closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The workload is starting to pick up,” he says. You’re high strung, caught between wanting to give yourself up to Loki and stay strong. Maybe if you began to act more aloof losing him would hurt less. You could begin to draw away. Start right now,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But god, Loki didn’t deserve that. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but Loki liked you. Almost as much as you liked him. He deserved all of you, not fragments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki leans back against the couch, taking you with him. You lie with your back against his strong chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you need to relax,” Loki murmurs. You can’t help it, you let out a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Relax? Have you met me?” You ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. And you seem to excel at everything except taking care of yourself. Why is that?” Loki has pulled your shirt to the side, running his nose up the expanse of your neck. You crane it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- Well-” You stutter, the question catching you off guard. Loki wraps an arm around your middle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you should let me help,” he whispers, lips brushing your skin. You let your head fall back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You try, you really, really try to keep your guard up. But then you remember Loki is the only person who ever sees it down,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” you agree. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki wastes no time. He licks you from shoulder to jawline, peppering kisses to the nape of your neck. You sigh, reaching behind you and lay your hands on Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to take care of you,” he says, and you believe him. There’s not a single force on this campus, maybe even in this world, that would keep Loki from doing what he tells you he will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hands sneak under your shirt, exploring the curve of your breasts and waist. Heat begins to pool deep inside you when Loki’s fingers undo the buttons of your jeans. You’re ready for him, your cunt throbbing by the time your pants have been slid down your legs. Were you that desperate? Your underwear is quick to follow, and you mouth begins to water at the thought of Loki’s fingers filling you -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His touch returns to your stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You make a confused noise when Loki’s hands begin to run up and down your belly. Each time they travel, they drift further and further down, but never quite reach your dripping core. Your breath hitches, and you writhe in Loki’s arms when his hand sinks so low one of his fingers brushes your clit. It sends a jolt of excitement through your body. Still, Loki’s hand drags back up, leaving goosebumps on the soft skin of your tummy. You moan, exasperated and bothered. Loki chuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought - this was supposed to be relaxing,” you huff, voice breathier than you’d care to admit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Loki’s hands run over your hips and to the inside of your thighs, kneading the flesh there. Your vision begins to blur. “Does my touch not soothe you?” He pinches your thigh, causing you to yelp. Your hips buck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not when you tease me!” You manage to say. Loki kisses the sensitive spot behind your ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart, I’m not teasing you,” Loki’s voice is dripping with feign sweetness. “I’m making sure you’re ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki shifts one of his hands, his fingers stroking your swollen lips. Your body awakens under the attention, screaming at you to convince this man to give you more. You don’t even have to try: Loki’s fingers slip between your folds, leaving no part of you unloved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See?” He asks when his fingers are fully coated in your arousal. You shudder. “This is for you. All of this is for you,” Loki pushes a finger inside you, causing you to cry out. It’s only one finger, nothing that hasn’t happened with Loki before. But you’re on edge from his relentless</span>
  <em>
    <span> prep</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the feeling of Loki’s hands still heavy on your body. You react instantly, clenching around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This pleases him, and Loki is happy to and another finger once he curls the first. You begin to beg, asking Loki for release in ways you would normally never ask anyone else. Loki smiles, you can tell, adding a third finger and making sure to reach deep inside you. He finds your g-spot with ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With his free hand, Loki starts to give attention to your clit. Loki’s fingers felt so elegant, so perfect. It was almost like they were made specifically to please you. A greedy thought, but who could blame you? Logic had no place in your brain right now, every coherent thought you had was being finger fucked away by Professor Laufeyson. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He worked hard to finally bring you relief, thumb rubbing tight circles over your clit as his fingers stretched you. You imagine Loki’s cock slipping inside you with ease from all this worrying of your hole, and that’s what makes you slip over the edge. Your orgasm rips through your body, claiming every nerve ending as you go entirely limp in Loki’s arms. You lay motionless against Loki before you turn over to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You-” Loki cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours, moaning in your mouth and making you even more hazy with lust. You pull away panting, eyes drifting to the tent in Loki’s pants. “Do you want me to…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Loki answers gently. He bumps his nose against yours. “I can do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pushes you down, straddling your thighs and towering over you. Your throat goes dry as you take in the sight: Loki’s blown out eyes, swollen mouth. He’s taken himself out, and his cock is hard and weeping. You resist the urge to reach forward and stroke it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki does that for you, using the wetness on his fingers that remain from you. He slicks himself up, pleasuring himself in long and tight strokes and he watches you. You stare back, mesmerized.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I… Can I help?” You ask, suddenly unsure of yourself. Loki’s eyes slip shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he rasps. “Please, talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The word makes your stomach jump. You weren’t sure if he’d ever said that to you in situations like this. You understood now, why he always listened when you used it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You gulp, trying to think of what to say. You look at Loki’s dark lashes, blissed-out expression. You smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful,” you tell him. “Handsome too of course, but I always just think about how pretty you are. You’re so pretty, Loki, and I don’t think I could ever get bored while looking at you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki curses, his hand beginning to move faster. You continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you make me feel so good. You fit me so well, your fingers, your cock. You fill me up perfectly, and you always know what to say. I’m always… sated after I see you. By the time I walk out your office door, I feel like I could take over the world.” Loki bends over, bracing himself with a hand next to your head. You can feel his breath, hot and heavy on your skin. “I’m so lucky, Loki, to be with you,” your voice gets smaller. “Please, Loki, will you come for me? Please?” You let out a shaky breath. “I want you to, Loki. I want you to come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s all it takes. Loki’s hips snap forward, then again, and he comes on your stomach. The couch is too small for him to lay down next to you. In an impressive feat of someone who’s spent, Loki scoops you up in his arms, switching your positions so your back is once again laying on his chest. You’re both loose, a mess of fluids and tangled limbs. Loki manages to find your hand, weaving his fingers with yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” he asks between breaths. “Do you feel better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You nod, clutching Loki’s hand as you stare lazily at the ceiling. You can barely even remember what you had been so stressed about. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't know about you all, but seeing this as this week's chapter was great for me. School is starting to pick up again, and I know I need to relaxation periods with Loki!</p><p>Feel free to visit me on tumblr @ lowkeyorloki.</p><p>Be sure to tell me what you think of this chapter! Thanks for reading and I'll see you next week :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Part XX</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you order dinner</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have no idea where this came from. Fun fact, I made the *tiniest* reference to "Jennifer's Body" in chapter. You get like, all the brownie points if you catch it. </p><p>As always, my beta @ dilfism makes this all possible!! They also released the third (!!!) chapter of their Loki x reader fic this week, and it's superrrrr good. Go give it a read! </p><p>Loki and I both live off of comments and kudos, so please be sure to tell me what you think! If ao3 is a little intimidating, anon asks are always on over at my tumblr, lowkeyorloki.</p><p>Happy reading :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hey,” you lock the door behind you, gliding over to where Loki sits at his desk. Loki’s eyes twinkle when they see you, and it makes your stomach drop in the best way possible. You flash him a smile, fishing a hair band out of your pocket. You tie your hair up, knowing doing so would increase your chances of Loki peppering kisses down your neck. Well, sort of. Loki would always end up doing that. This would just help make it happen faster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> This is such a routine now, and it all comes so naturally. Lock the door, drop your bag, smile shyly even though you felt anything but. The four walls of this office had come to mean so much to you. You knew every nook and cranny, every title of the books that rested in too-full bookshelves. Even the smell was familiar at this point, and sometimes you smelled like Loki by the time you got back to your apartment to shower. Half the time, it made you tempted not to, and you’d tell yourself to just fall asleep with Loki’s heavy pine-smelling scent on you. You never did, but you definitely thought about it. Every. Single. Time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki reaches forward, hooking his fingers in loops of your jeans and tugging you into him. He’s still sitting, and his face lands squarely against your chest as he wraps his arms around your waist. You let out a breathy laugh, cradling Loki’s head pressing a kiss to his soft hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a moment, but Loki eventually draws away, beckoning for you to lit on your lap. Reluctantly, you listen. Loki situates you on one of his thighs, holding you steady with a strong palm on your hip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I doing here?” You ask with a smile in your voice. “I got your text. You don’t usually text me - or call, really. I was a bit worried something was wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki rubs circles around your knee, humming slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing’s wrong,” he says first, but you know that already. The mood is light and airy, and you can tell Loki doesn’t even have anything to do like grade papers. “I just… wanted to be around you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You swallow when Loki says that. It’s a small confession, especially compared to some of the other things he’s told you. But… it’s just that you know Loki. Not only did he generally not want to be around anyone, but he definitely wasn’t excited when he did want to be. He was so guarded, and while you haven’t quite cracked the code as to why yet, you don’t really need to. Loki was guarded, but less so around you, and that was good enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, you’d be lying if you said you had never wondered where the stoic demeanor came from. But that was a really big question. You would rather have Loki give you parts of himself than take them from him. Every new detail you learned about Loki was like a present, and while you ripped open the wrapping like a child every time you got one, you were patient and waited until it was handed to you. It just felt right that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what a coincidence, Professor Laufeyson,” Loki rolls his eyes at his official title. It sounded strange to both of you coming out of your mouth. You save it now, for moments like this when you’re probably being a lot less funny than you think you are. “Because I always want to be around you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s eyes meet yours, and you swear you see his pupils dilate. He takes your chin between his fingers, and slowly draws you in inch by inch until his lips are on yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your mouth falls open immediately, no prompting from Loki necessary. He leans in, kisses you deeper and strokes the inside of your mouth with his tongue. It’s intoxicating. With everything you and Loki do together, it’s easy to forget how something as simple as a kiss can feel so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You would be more than content to stay like this for hours, with Loki’s warm mouth against yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki has other plans though, drawing away to nibble at your neck. You want to protest, your swollen lips missing Loki’s soft ones, but you don’t. First, because you’d take anything Loki offered you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Second, because these soft kisses on your skin had been what you wanted since you walked in. Consistency, that was key. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki bites down where the muscle of your shoulder meets your neck, and you let out a small moan. Loki keeps sucking, worrying your skin with his teeth until he draws away with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>pop!</span>
  </em>
  <span> You watch him as he admires his work, then presses a kiss over the dark spot. You shiver, continuing to do so as Loki repeats the process. He leaves another mark on your neck, and one on your chest; just high enough that it peeks out of your shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t hide all of these,” you say, but continue to cradle Loki’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he growls against your skin. The sound goes right to your core, heat pooling and gradually beginning to soak through your underwear. You clutch at Loki’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki nips at your earlobe, and you squeal at the sensation as he finally leans back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured,” he says, shifting so you can feel his half-hard cock against your inner thigh. Your eyes roll back. “You could keep me company while I finish a few things. We could order dinner, maybe play some music. I really don’t have much to do. If you’re a good girl,” you have to bite your lip to keep yourself from letting out a groan, “and don’t distract me, I’ll be done within the hour. Then we have all the time to… Not be productive.” Loki blinks slowly. “Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” You answer. Loki grins. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Do you like Thai food?” Loki reaches behind you, setting his hand on his mouse and pulling up a website on his desktop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Simple question. I know of a good place, but we’ll have quite the wait if we don’t order now. So,” Loki refocuses on you, his fingers running over your clothed core. “Tell me, sweetheart, do you like Thai food?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You keen, instinctively leaning into Loki’s touch. You can’t even think of food right now, all of your attention is directed to Loki and the space between your legs. You moan slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” you answer, because you know Loki will get impatient if you don’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lovely,” he says absentmindedly, still stroking you. You’re really wet now, you can feel it, and you hope your jeans are thick enough that Loki can’t tell. “The portions at this restaurant are large, so we won’t need more than one entree… How does Pad Thai sound? Hmm?” Loki is well aware of what he’s doing to you, drawing his playfulness out and bringing you to the point of fidgeting on his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not- you’ve been doing this to me a lot lately.” You mutter, your voice sounding more breathless than you’d prefer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doing what?” Loki asks, feigning ignorance. You curse, and Loki lets out a laugh, then unzips your pants. You think you’re finally going to get some release, but he doesn’t do anything after that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teasing me,” you breathe. Loki chuckles. “You’re relentless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you love it. Do you want me to stop?” Loki’s voice is suddenly serious. You freeze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” You say after a beat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect, then.” Loki presses a kiss to the inside of your palm, then puts his phone in it. “Place the order, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What…” you look down at your legs, your jeans pushed halfway down your things. “Like this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand begins moving in slow and steady movements over your bare skin before coming to an abrupt stop with a pinch. You yelp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Loki’s voice is near your ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O-Okay.” Loki’s already dialed the number, so you just hit the call button and bring the phone to your ear. Loki is still rubbing your thighs, swiping the pad of his thumb over your clit every once in a while. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello,” a woman picks up, quickly telling you the name of the restaurant. “What can I get for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” you greet her. “Can I just get-” Loki shifts you in his lap, and you grab on the arm of the small chair holding you both for support. Loki grabs you as well, much closer to a certain part of your body than necessary. You bite back a lewd noise. Concentrate. “I’ll just need an order of Pad Thai.” There. Done. You did it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pad Thai,” the woman repeats. “Okay. What protein would you like with that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You still. “Pardon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Protein? We have chicken, beef, pork, vegetarian…” the woman lists off a few more options, and you’re just about to answer when-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You slap your hand over your mouth as you can’t help but moan. You feel Loki grab your hips, pulling you back and slowly guiding you so that you’re sitting on his cock. Your eyes widen and your head drops, eyes squeezing shut in order not to make another noise but also because Loki fills you up so well. He pushes himself into you until you can feel his balls against your skin, and then he stops. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t move. You keep waiting for him to, waiting for a thrust or swivel of the hips that would make you cry out. But neither comes. Loki is as still as you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ma’am?” the voice says from the phone. You blink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No meat is fine!” You blurt out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. Name?” The woman sounds exasperated. You don’t blame her, quickly giving her your name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One hour and twenty minutes.” She says, then promptly hangs up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You say nothing. You feel your walls clench around Loki’s cock, adjusting to him. Loki makes no implications that he’s going to move, he just stares at his computer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An hour and twenty minutes?” He tuts. You watch as he sets an alarm. “What will we do until then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some ideas,” you bite out, searching desperately for one of Loki’s hands. You succeed, and carefully guide it towards your aching cunt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Loki doesn’t tug his hand away, but he does intertwine yours fingers, making it clear he’s not going to do what you want. You fidget.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay still.” Loki pets your side, from your ribs to your hip. “I want you to feel me,” sincerity begins to creep into his tone. “Focus, let your body relax. Stay with me. Just… keep me warm. Can you do that for me sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your cunt flutters. “Yes,” you whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki cups your face, looking deep into your eyes. “Good girl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You try to earn the title. You stay there, perfectly still as Loki impales you. He pays you no mind, almost acting as if you aren’t there. He does meaningless tasks, ones he could complete any time. Fixing absences. Deleting old emails. Slowly, desperation begins to build. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You begin to memorize every bit of Loki’s member, something you thought you had already done. You can feel every vein, every line as it sits deep inside of you. Loki’s so big, it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. You feel full. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You wonder what this is doing for Loki. He does nothing that would suggest he’s enjoying this, but then, he wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t. What was this like for him? Was he holding himself back like you were? He asked you to keep him warm. Were you doing that? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At one point, Loki leans forward, and hits a spot that makes you cry out. You squeeze your eyes shut. They begin to water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, sweetheart.” Loki wraps his arms around your middle, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the back of your neck. “You’re doing so well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” You ask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Loki promises. He begins to grind upwards, and the sensation is so long awaited your head falls back onto his shoulder. “You’re so… willing, do you know that?” One of Loki’s hands sneaks up the front of your shirt, running up your belly and cupping one of your breasts. He gives it a squeeze, and you moan. “It’s enticing, the way you’ll try anything. You always listen to me, even when it doesn’t necessarily make sense to do so. I think, love, that it’s because you understand that waiting for something better is the smart thing to do.” Loki thrusts into you, and curses. You try your best to meet his movements, clutching the arms of the chair. “The reward will be greater if you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>wait</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And you do that. You’re so timed, so smart. It’s intoxicating.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out what’s supposed to be a laugh, but it ends up being a breath instead. Smart? You had no idea what you were doing when it came to Loki. You were still trying to wrap your head around the fact he liked you so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to cum.” Loki’s voice is soft all of the sudden. “Cum on my cock, sweetheart, I’m right here.” Loki begins to rub circles over your clit, and you cry out. “Let go, I’m here. I’ll catch you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re almost there, you’re almost to the edge, between Loki’s thick cock and his long fingers-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the alarm goes off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This takes even Loki by surprise, and he quickly grabs his phone to silence it. You blink, shuddering against your professor. He breathes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I,” you say. “I can pick it up. The food. I can, um, get it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Loki agrees. “That’s… yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You nod. Inhaling you slowly stand up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound your pussy makes when you ease off of Loki is obscene. Your face heats up immediately, and you’re quick to pull up your pants and cover yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you,” you ask, turning around to face Loki. He watches you carefully, his eyes raking up your body. “Do you have a coat?” Your fingers run over the hickeys you know are prominent on your skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki sighs. He puts himself away before standing up, brushing the pad of his thumb over each of the marks he’s left on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for this,” he murmurs. “Not to hide this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have to,” you cradle his wrist. “I can’t walk out of here like this, Loki, you know I can’t.” You press a kiss to his lifeline. Loki’s eyes dip when you do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he gives in. Loki turns around, rifling through the briefcase he brings to class every day. He fishes something out, facing you again. He’s holding a scarf. He wraps it carefully around your neck, covering any evidence of his appreciation. The scarf is long and thickly knit, soft, and a deep shade of red. You’ve never seen Loki wear it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bet he looks better in it than you do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You snatch your keys, and your phone, shoving both into your pockets. You’re almost out the door when Loki stops you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The scarf,” he says in a low voice, almost a whisper. “Take it off when you get to the restaurant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You swallow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” you promise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not like Loki has any way of knowing whether you listen to him or not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s not a spy, or an established community member. Even if he was, no one knew about you. There would be no one that could contact Loki saying, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hey, she didn’t take off the scarf. She didn’t listen</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then, that’s not the point, is it? You wouldn’t be showing off Loki’s love for other people. You would just be doing it for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sit in your car outside the restaurant, drumming your thumbs against the steering wheel. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the rear view mirror. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You take off the scarf and walk inside. If the woman notices anything as she hands you the order, she doesn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You drive back to the school feeling powerful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Pad Thai is the best you’ve had. You and Loki eat it straight out of the styrofoam container, something you’re almost positive he’s never done in his life. You’re both sitting on the ground with your backs against the couch when you finish, feeling warm and full. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You steal a few glances at Loki in the silence. All the other professors have left by now, and the hallways lights are off. The dim, yellow light of the office is the only thing that illuminates your professor’s profile. You look at the slope of his nose, the column of his neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually, looking at Loki made you feel wired. But sometimes, every once in a while, it made you feel like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tired. Drowsy. Drunk with familiarity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bury your face in the crook of his neck, and Loki chuckles, letting you melt into him. You let out a content sigh, placing your hand over his chest. Loki covers it with his own, and you close your eyes. It was so warm in here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we sleep together?” You ask, eyes still closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki doesn’t say anything. You laugh noticing how that must sound, and lift your head up to look at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean,” you tilt your heads towards the couch. “Literally. I’m tired, Loki.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.” Loki’s eyes twinkle at the misunderstanding. “I was wondering why you felt the need to ask.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki picks you up in his arms, laying down on the couch and holding you steady on top of him. You snuggle into his chest before letting your eyes drift shut again. Loki begins to rub your neck, and it makes you even more limp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re almost asleep when he speaks again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you managed to do the reading?” he asks, pressing his finger down and dragging it up the line of your spine. You hum. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Buddha of Suburbia</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” You feel Loki nod, his chin bumping against your forehead. “No… S’posed to do it today. You had other plans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Loki presses his palm to the small of your back. You moan, the sound muffled against his shirt. You hear the sound of something unzipping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” you raise your head. “I don’t have the energy to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thing Loki unzipped was your bag. You blink. He’s taken out your copy of </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Buddha of Suburbia.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ssh.” He shushes you gently. “Which chapter, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink, then slowly tuck your head back under Loki’s chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five,” you answer. Loki clears his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I loved drinking tea and I loved cycling</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he begins. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I would bike to the tea shop in High Street and see what blends they had. My bedroom contained boxes and boxes of tea, and I was happy to have new brews to concoct more original combos…</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though you’re only half awake, you remember the chapter Loki reads to you better than any of the others. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Part XXI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Natasha needs reassurance and Loki needs praise</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey y'all!</p><p>With this update, there are officially more chapters in asis than years I have been on this Earth. I'm not entirely sure why I noticed that, but I did, so it felt like a good time to remind y'all how much it means to me that you're reading and supporting this fic. Every kudos, comment, and tumblr ask about it makes my day and makes me so thrilled I chose to publish this work. Thank you so so SO much &lt;3</p><p>I of course want to thank my beta as well, @ dilfism, whose story is also currently getting me through copious amounts of schoolwork. If you haven't checked it out, go do that!!! Also, a shoutout to the anon on tumblr who affirmed that I should incorporate bondage + praise kink into this chapter. I needed that reassurance, so wherever and whoever you are, thanks a bunch!</p><p>Also also, for anyone into The Mandalorian, I recently started a Mando/reader multichapter fic. My handle on ao3 is viridescentdin, and on tumblr it's viridescent-din. If Pedro Pascal has ruined your life the way he's ruined mine, you should give the fic a chance! It's called "Migraine."</p><p>This chapter is (I think) pretty fun, so happy reading! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Fuck, Loki.” You thread your fingers through your professor’s dark hair, tugging on it slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki moans, his hot mouth pressing against your clit in a searing kiss. Your back arches, exposed breasts heaving. He draws away, tongue coming out to swipe over his grinning lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re getting there, sweetheart.” Loki says. In spite of your dripping cunt, you roll your eyes. Loki’s smile grows bigger, and he returns his attentions to your core. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s tongue feels amazing, velvety soft and not leaving a single part of your core untouched. You relish in it, letting yourself get lost on his tongue. He softly licks your clit, and your thighs shake. Your stomach is quickly becoming sore, both from the muscles clenching and arousal that is slowly and slowly building. There’s a thin sheen on sweat on your naked body, and even though you might be the hottest you’ve ever been, you shiver. Loki notices, pressing your hips deeper into the small couch of his office to hold you steady. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You- You make me feel so good, Loki.” Loki groans at your praise, and it sends vibrations throughout your body. “You know exactly to touch me, how to- augh!” Loki slides a long, skilled finger inside you, cutting you off. You mewl, your walls clenching. Loki’s eyes flash towards you, but they’re quickly drawn back to where his finger has disappeared into you. He adds another while circling your clit with his tongue again, and you throw your arm over your mouth to muffle your shout. You’re so wet, dripping on Loki’s mouth, hand, your own thighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki, I’m… I’m gonna cum,” your warning does nothing to deter Loki, if anything, it spurs him on. He curls his fingers, knowing exactly where you g-spot is and hitting it perfectly. Combined with his mouth keeping you warm, you can’t as your orgasm overwhelms you. You cum on Loki’s tongue, and he holds you through the shocks and keens, never letting you go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He does pull away though, and you gasp one last time as his fingers leave you empty. Loki licks you off his fingers, his eyes resting on yours as he does. You draw in a breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki picks up your discarded shirt, tugging it over your head and focusing intently on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look amazing,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Sound amazing,” another on your neck. “Taste amazing…” one last kiss, right where your cleavage meets. “You’re just amazing. Insatiable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You smile, cradling Loki’s head. You bury your nose in his hair, almost letting yourself get lost in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But you can’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have another class,” you whisper, no need to talk at full volume with Loki so close. “Go teach it, Laufeyson.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lets out a laugh, and reluctantly, he listens. But only when you promise to come back tomorrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki leaves you feeling light-headed in the best way. The rest of your classes are a blur, passing by like nothing as you relish the fucked out feeling Loki has given you. It’s distracting, sure, but all you did was focus. You could let yourself feel good for once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re ready to collapse in your bed and be asleep by eight pm when Nat catches your wrist as you open your car door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come over?” She asks. If she wasn’t gripping your skin and making last minute plans, you wouldn’t be able to tell something was wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Your answer is instant. “Do you want a ride, or are you good to drive yourself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha looks past you, where you assume her own car is parked. She lets go of you, walking around your car before getting in the passenger seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I spend the night?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You don’t look at Nat as you turn on the engine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Totally.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I broke up with Bruce.” Natasha says after an hour of John Mulaney stand up and a few glasses of wine. She only liked red, so you kept a bottle around for her at all times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nat,” you say softly. “I… I had no idea.” She sniffs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You weren’t supposed to. And, I mean, I did it today. If you can even call it breaking up. We were never really dating.” Nat swirls the wine in her glass around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But still.” You grab the remote, lowering the volume on the tv. Natasha promptly grabs the remote herself and turns the volume back up. You blink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s. I didn’t want to lead him on, you know? People are so eager to make me out to be this unemotional bitch. They would have ripped me apart if I let it go on longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” You were no stranger to the fact Nat had a reputation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even know if I liked him in the first place. He was just… there, you know? God, I’m a horrible person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” You shake your head. “No, you’re not. First, if you were a bad person, you wouldn’t feel guilty right now.” Nat doesn’t say anything, knowing you’re right. “And it’s not like you don’t care about Bruce. You just needed help, and attention, and he was there to give it to you. It’s okay to lean on people Nat, you can’t do it all yourself.” Nat looks at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says you,” she points out with a sad smile. You scoff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we’re all nicer to other people than we are to ourselves. But I mean it, Nat. You did the right thing. I’m sorry it hurts. You’ve had enough of that for a long time. I wish I could do something.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Natasha sighs, setting her glass on the coffee table and pulling your obscenely soft throw blanket (it was a winter holiday gift) over herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. I just need to be mad for a while. Maybe even sad.” Nat scrunches her nose when she admits that last part. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...And that’s perfectly fine.” You assure her. “You don’t have to be guarded 24/7. The world might be out to get you sometimes, but I never will be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sit in silence for a few moments before Nat talks again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Can I ask you something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” You’ll do anything to make your friend feel better. She almost never got upset, and it hurt you to see her this way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This guy you’re seeing. Do you ever have any doubts? That you don’t like him, or that he doesn’t like you and… will end up leaving?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The way Nat keeps her tone so even, so calculated, makes you want to reach out and pull her into a hug. She’s thinking about Clint. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one would have guessed that he’d leave. No one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I,” you swallow. “No. Never.” You think of Loki, how he’s seen you stressed, happy, angry. He seemed to want to be around you either way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You… You’d never realized how lucky you were to say that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. I figured.” Natasha downs the rest of her wine in one gulp, and you know she’s done with the subject at this point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you, uh, want to see the girl I keep talking about?” You pull out your phone, showing Nat Wanda’s Instagram page. Her eyes widen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeez, she’s gorgeous.” Nat comments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” you agree. “She’s nice too. Isn’t it the worst?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You lead Nat carefully over to your bed, arm around her waist as she takes heavy steps. She’s not drunk, or at least not enough to actually need your help. But she is drunk enough to pretend, and you get it. Asking for physical and mental reassurance in one day really wasn’t Nat’s thing. You don’t comment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You braid her long red hair, getting it out of her face, and leave a water bottle by her side of the bed. Natasha surprises you when she talks - you thought she had been asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I ever gonna meet him?” She asks, unknowingly referring to Loki. Your hand is still resting on the side of Nat’s face from doing her hair. You smile sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope so.” You tell her, and wholeheartedly mean it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The second Nat is asleep, you’re on the phone calling Loki. He picks up on the third ring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” He greets you, sounding somewhat confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” you glance at the clock on your stove. 9:30pm. You mentally curse. “Um, is there any chance you’re still on campus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just about to leave. Are you alright?” You swallow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine. Can I come see you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a minute of silence. Your heart is beating so hard it almost hurts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki looks worried when you get to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can’t blame him. You didn’t necessarily sound frantic on the phone, but you tried not to talk to him late. Even if you knew nothing about it, Loki had a personal life outside of all this. You tried to respect that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki says your name, but you can barely hear it as you fold yourself into him. You hug Loki, wrapping your arms around his middle and hoping he’ll take the hint. He does, holding you back. You close your eyes, trying to focus on</span>
  <em>
    <span> this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay.” You promise Loki, raising an eyebrow. “I can tell you’re worried. I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Loki cups your face in his hand, and softly, so soft it almost feels like there’s nothing there, he brushes his lips over yours in a kiss. “If you say so, I believe you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hold Loki’s wrists as he presses his forehead to yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you?” You ask. Loki chuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to. I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes I do.” You clutch Loki’s hand. “I… Yes, I do. I appreciate you, Loki. And I’m lucky to be with you, and I really like what we have and I just. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sshh.” Loki kisses your palm, and it makes you flutter. “You don’t have to thank me. Don’t reward me for doing the bare minimum, sweetheart.” Loki leads you to the couch, pulling you on his lap while you stare at him with your mouth slightly ajar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bare minimum? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” your voice comes out thick, like you’re on the edge of tears. You’re not, though, you’re pretty far from it. “Is that what you think you do? All you give yourself credit for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Loki says seriously. He has one hand on the side of your neck, the other on your hip. He’s cool to the touch. “But we don’t need to talk about right now, beautiful.” The compliment makes your stomach jump, but it doesn’t distract you in the way Loki is hoping it will. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes we do,” you tell him, frowning slightly. “If you don’t feel like you’re being… amazing to me, which you are, then… yes we do.” You lean forward, pressing a fleeting kiss to Loki’s jaw to emphasize your point. He lets out a comfortable breath, moving his thumb up and down comfortingly. He looks at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am well aware you deserve more than what I give you,” he begins. “You shouldn’t have to sneak around with me, or hide parts of yourself away. I’ve forced you to lie to your friends, and I know that. But I’m not perfect, sweetheart. As much as I want you to have more, I just…” Loki presses his face to the spot where your shoulder meets your neck. “I can’t give you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink, trying to process what Loki’s saying as his breaths hit your skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” you pull away, forcing Loki to look at you. “No, no no no.” You’re shaking your head, cradling him. “You’re wrong, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong Loki. I just… fuck, I hate that you think that. I know it’s not ideal, I know that, but,” you let out a huff, trying to think of what to say. “I’ve never met someone like you Loki. And I don’t want to idealize you, or make you uncomfortable, or overstep, but…” you think of the poem Loki gave you, the way he always asked if you were okay before what was wrong. “I’m so lucky with you Loki. You make me feel so </span>
  <em>
    <span>valued</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You almost tell Loki you love him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But… you came here to thank him. Let him know how good he was to you. You weren’t going to put that pressure on him, not right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are valued.” Loki murmurs. “I could spend countless nights,” he plays with your hair absentmindedly. “Telling you how beautiful you are, how every single sound that comes out of your mouth is like music. And believe me, I intend to do those things. But,” Loki inhales. “In a way, none of that even matters. You are the smartest and most empathetic person I’ve ever met. I felt like you knew me from the second you walked into my classroom. And I… trust you so much that doesn’t even bother me anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You stare at Loki, blinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a big confession coming from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do?” You whisper the question. You kiss each of Loki’s knuckles, watching his face crumple. “Please, Loki, this is for you. Tonight is about you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do anything-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to.” You tell Loki seriously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki closes his eyes, letting out a sigh, and by the time he opens them again, he looks like he understands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take off your clothes.” He says, his voice deeper than it was a minute ago. Your heart starts to pound against your chest, and you slide off his lap. Once standing, you slowly begin to strip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You cross your arms over your chest when you’re naked, out of habit more than anything else. While you wouldn’t deny that having your professor hungrily scan your form while he was still completely clothed turned you on, you still couldn’t help but feel exposed. You knew Loki found you attractive, you really did. But there was still a layer of vulnerability that came with this, and you couldn’t exactly ignore that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful.” Loki says, as if he knows what you’re thinking. He stands up, walking towards you. “Turn around,” he commands softly, and you do. He takes both your wrists, pinning them behind your back. A smooth cloth runs over your skin, and suddenly tightens, binding your hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What-?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just my tie,” Loki places a warm kiss to your shoulder. “Does it hurt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You shake your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Loki runs a finger over the back of your thigh, where your leg meets your ass. You shiver. “Is this okay?” You nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Use your words.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. And you’ll tell me when it gets to be too much,” Loki says, looking for your confirmation. You bite your lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>If</span>
  </em>
  <span> it gets to be too much,” you correct him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki groans, clutching your hips hard enough it sends waves of pain that you love throughout your body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he rasps, his mouth right next to your ear. “If.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki suddenly places a hand on the back of your neck, guiding you back to the couch and pushing you down. You land on the cushions face first, hips and ass in the air with your hands still bound and useless behind your back. You gasp at the shock, and newness of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” Loki says, and it makes you imagine what you must look like. You can feel the cool air on your wet lips, and realize you’re glistening for him. You hear frantic unzipping, and the sound of something ripping. You turn your face just in time to see Loki rolling on a condom. He gets on the couch behind you, placing his palms on your hips and dragging the tip of his cock over your core. Your breath hitches when it makes contact with your clit, and you squeeze your eyes shut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I need you to know,” Loki’s voice has changed, it’s thick and dark and </span>
  <em>
    <span>needy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Your throat goes dry. “I’m not going to be gentle. You’ll feel good, I promise that, but I can’t,” Loki clears his throat when he pulls his cock away and you instinctively follow it. “I can’t be… tender, right now. Tell me that’s okay, or we’ll stop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You swallow, barely able to see Loki from this angle. You just catch a glimpse of his hardened member against his stomach, and feel the heat pooling between your legs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” you tell him, trying to nod but physically unable to. “Yes, Loki, it’s oka-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki doesn’t even let you finish, slamming into you with what feels like all his strength. The force pushes you forward, and the only reason Loki is able to sheath himself inside you is because of the death grip he has on your hips. You let out a cry, and you’re overcome with the need to grab Loki. You can’t though, wrists straining against the fabric of his tie. Even if you weren’t bound and completely at his mercy, you wouldn’t be able to touch Loki in this position. Something about that excites you. Your walls clench around Loki, and you’re left thinking about how big he is, filling you up and taking you over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pulls out but gives you no time to catch your breath as he thrusts again. You whimper, grinding back on him as much as you possibly can. Loki reaches underneath you, coating his fingers in your arousal before finding your clit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your mouth falls open, panting as you struggle to find air. Your throat is somewhat blocked, unable to get as much oxygen as you’re used to. The way Loki teases you with his fingers makes you breathless, adding to the feeling of overstimulation and pleasure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re - You’re going to feel me tomorrow,” he bites out, circling your clit in a way that makes tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “And later tonight. You’re going to wake up like I’m still here, between your legs and fucking you senseless. How does that make you feel?” Loki grunts, and you feel something hot wet on your back. He plants searing kisses on the curve of your shoulder blade, rendering you almost useless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Good</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” You moan, trying your absolute best to answer his question coherently. “I want - Want to feel you tomorrow. Want to be sore from this, from you treating me so well.” You gasp again as Loki drives into you, checking on your hands to be sure they’re still tight and stuck behind your back. “And you… </span>
  <em>
    <span>ugh</span>
  </em>
  <span>… do, treat me so well, Loki. Better than anyone else,” Loki groans from behind you, and you feel his cock twitch somewhere deep inside you. “You make me feel good, the best I’ve felt. You’re best I’ve had, I can’t even - can’t even imagine someone else. I’m gonna feel you when I walk tomorrow, when I sit, when I stand, and it’s gonna remind me, there’s only you.” Loki is somehow picking up the pace, grinding and thrusting into you faster with every word you say. “Only you can do this to me, Loki. And I’m,” you let out a mewl when Loki presses his thumb against your clit. “Never gonna be the same, never gonna feel the same after you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki threads his arm around your midsection, ripping you up and pulling your back against his chest. He makes a noise in the back of his throat, growling as he spears even further inside you. You let out another cry and he keeps going. The arm that’s not on your hip now rests on your stomach, his free hand grabbing your breast so much it almost hurts, and you melt into his touch. His fingers, still wet from your pussy, tease and pull at your nipple, and with everything going on, Loki’s harsh and ragged pants in your ears, you start to feel yourself come undone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” you whine. “I’m gonna-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cum,” Loki steals the word from your mouth, making it a command and holding you tighter against him. Suddenly it’s all too much, and you cum, the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt ripping through your body. It’s like you can feel it in every nerve ending, leaving you limp and spent in Loki’s arms. “So tight, when you come, you’re so warm-” and then Loki’s coming too, pulsing inside you and using you to ride his own pleasure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Loki eases out of you, it’s audible, and you gape at just how wet you were. Are. Loki turns around, and you assume he’s taking care of the condom before he’s untying your wrists and letting you go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sort of… collapse, on the couch, tired and worn out. Loki towers over you, and very carefully, drifts his lips over the parts of your wrists that are just the tiniest bit irritated. There’s a frown beginning to form on Loki’s lips, and you quickly put a stop to that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not hurt,” you say. Your voice shakes, your throat raw. It… doesn’t do much to further your point. “I feel good, Loki. Like you promised.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki nods, leaning forward to bring your lips to his in a quick, chaste kiss. He settles down, letting you lean your head on his shoulder and relax. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand raises to cup your breast, but it’s soft, and so comforting it makes your eyes close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stay closed for… well, you aren’t exactly sure how long. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Please be sure to tell me what you think! If anonymity is your thing, you can always drop an anon ask at my tumblr, lowkeyorloki.</p><p>Also, come prepared next week, because the plot is picking up!! I am SO excited about next week's update, but also the one after that, because that's when the twist happens :)) I'm trying really hard not to turn on the caps lock and scream because I AM JUST SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS AUGH</p><p>Anyway. Thanks for reading, and I'll see all y'all next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Part XXII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which everything happens at once</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am super thrilled to say my beta, @ dilfism, is actually a co-writer on this chapter! Can you guys tell which parts they wrote as opposed to me? </p><p>I also want to say a chunk of this chapter heavily features works by author Hanif Kureishi. You guys always seem to like it when I reference literature in depth, and so we did that a lot here! I would really suggest checking out his book "Buddha of Suburbia" and movie "My Beautiful Laundrette." Besides that, SO MUCH happens in this chapter concerning the plot of this fic. I'm just so hyped for y'all to read it. </p><p>Happy reading!</p><p>Um, okay. I'm writing this after having published the chapter. There's a whole paragraph in bold that ao3 is not letting me unbold and I have no idea why it's like that? So sorry. This is v unprofessional of me but I just tried to fix it like six times and I can't. Sorry! It shouldn't happen again.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You weren’t quite sure how it happened, but you’d ended up with Wanda at your side instead of Nat as you made your way to Loki’s class. You frown when you notice the absence lurking by your right side, and an odd gnawing sensation that claws away at your chest. It was unnecessary, and wholly unwelcome. You didn’t have anything to worry about, at least you thought so. You’d finished your absurd workload for this week, even the essays upon essays for Loki’s class - couldn’t he stand to be sweet on you? You were his favorite student, after all. No, don’t think like that, you wouldn’t want him to be. </p><p>Wanda chatters as you both mosey along in the crowd - apparently her next class was somewhere nearby. You were only half listening, and you feel sort of bad about it, so you were sure to sprinkle a, “Sorry, say that again?” every so often just to show that you care.</p><p>The class is at the end of the hall, upstairs. You pause, meandering further and further near the light that always flickered right out front. Surely the university had money to spare on Loki’s facilities? Poor dude. Natasha is there, tapping a pointed foot and she perks up when she catches your eye. </p><p>She smiles, like <em> really </em>smiles, before glancing to your side. Her face drops. You blink, looking between the two. Did your friends always have the same hair color? Wanda’s was a bit more washed out where Nat’s was fiery, a shade that made you think of rum and ginger, but if you were to reduce them down to women on strings who sat in the same room shoved up against the wall, composed of nothing but brush strokes and swatches of color, they’d be made up all of all the same stuff. Crimson and reduced down. But that wasn’t your call to make.</p><p>“Where were you?” Natasha asks with curbed enthusiasm. The enthusiasm was still there, though. Guilt that you hoped was long forgotten bubbles up and forms into a vice claw around your throat - you hadn’t seen her much since the other day when you two hung out, and she’d worried about you. You felt like you’ve been making everyone worry lately.</p><p>“Sorry,” you smile at her, “I’ve been kinda busy. Oh!” Wanda has an amicable smile painting her features, making herself small. “Um, Nat, meet Wanda! We’ve got Stark’s class together!”</p><p>Natasha smiles back, her eyes squinting. “Hey.” Her voice is offhand. “It’s nice to meet you,” she nods. “I like Stark, more than a lot of other professors. It was probably one of the only classes I ended up learning from. Are you majoring in the STEM field? These classes can be pretty tough.”</p><p>Wanda laughs, and you smile. Already, they had common ground. “This is my first time taking him” Wanda remarks, “so I don’t really know how to feel yet. But it’s fun, you know, I enjoy doing this more than I thought I would.” </p><p>Wanda and Nat kept talking, it was smalltalk, while you zoned out and imagined going to Eurovision for free. Class would start soon, and Wanda had to run, but she didn’t forget to wave at you. It’s nice to feel included, and maybe those two would get along.</p><p>Nat inclined her head towards the room, indicating that fun was over and it’s time to go inside - time to atone for the radio silence you’d been signaling to your friend for a while now, and you both nabbed your usual seats.</p><p>She was mostly quiet. </p><p>“Did you read the book?” She asked.</p><p>“<em> Buddha of Suburbia </em>?” You looked up at her, “Yeah, I loved it! The author actually wrote one of my favorite movies? It’s called -”</p><p>And then Loki walked in, and your voice stuttered.  He looked <em> good. </em> The door thudded behind him as he reached a spindly arm out to close it, draping behind him and shoving the knob back with a grace you didn’t think you possessed. You liked the way Loki walked. Even when he didn’t have a destination in mind, his gait was full of confidence and conviction, like rushing water. Strut was not the word you would use, too ostentatious, while stroll seemed too leisurely. Swagger? No, you hated that word. Maybe he walked with <em> aplomb </em>, but you didn’t want to use the SAT vocabulary. Besides, it was a funny sounding word. Would it be weird to ask him later about what you’d use to describe how he walked? Maybe you could write him a love poem. That would be corny, though, you didn’t want him to tell you that he loved it while secretly thinking that it didn’t measure up to masters of the craft. He wouldn’t make fun of you though. Even if it was bad. </p><p>You were sure he’d keep it close to his chest, tucked away to look back on whenever he felt down.</p><p>He claps his hands together. “I hope everyone completed today’s reading, you should have at least three-quarters of the book read.” He writes the prompt down on the work-down chalkboard. You wondered if he had an affinity for it, and that’s why he never replaced it - he seemed like a dark academia kind of guy, even though he probably didn’t know what that was. </p>
<h4>
<span>His question is already on the board, but he continues as it was only halfway written. You appreciated the way he handled things delicately. As long as you’d been in his class, none of his chalk had ever broken while he wrote - and you’d only known him to raise his voice once. He writes, </span><em><span>Karim's identity is difficult for the reader to define. Sexually, he identifies himself as neither heterosexual nor homosexual. Similarly, he identifies both with British and Indian culture as he negotiates between the two in his life. Today we will discuss the relationship between Karim's sexual identity and the identity he claims as an "Englishman born and bred, almost." Are there connections between the two? How can Karim be understood as a liminal character? Consider, in your answer, his sexual relationships and friendships.</span></em>
</h4><p>“Would anyone like to start off today’s discussion?” He pulls out the chair from underneath the desk, and sits down on it with a hand in his pocket and another to rest his chin upon. His legs are spread, slightly, and you figure that the sight ought to stir something in you, no, it <em> did </em>- why was he wearing gloves? They were cut off at the wrist. But then, as your mind began to wander to something like, would he keep those on during it? </p><p>That was when your classmates began to spout the absolute coldest takes on the book you’d ever heard. You were shocked right out of your horny musings. Were you the only person who actually enjoyed the book? </p><p>Loki seems just as aghast at most of the conversation going on as you are, nearly going slacked jawed at someone’s comment. Maybe you two were really meant to be. You wondered if anyone else noticed his annoyance like you did. Maybe the book was personal to him, and he was nervous about teaching it? What kind of student-lover would you be if you didn’t jump in to save him?</p><p>You raise your hand, and you can tell he’s been paying attention to you through his peripheral vision all period because he notices you immediately, waves his one arm out to you in a benevolent fashion, and grants you the most thankful smile you ever did see, the kind of smile you’d see from a yearning wife as their husband returned from a long day fishing. He asks you to go on ahead. The idea that he was looking at you the whole time set butterflies loose in your gut, but you couldn’t let the hot professor distract you from what was really important. Saying your piece. </p><p>“I, um,” <em> don’t get nervous now </em> , <em> do it for love, </em> “I’m familiar with Hanif Kureshi’s work,” you say a bit quietly, perhaps the minority in the class, but feel emboldened when Loki hones his attention so that you are the sole and grants a gentle smile your way. He wants to hear you, and you smile back despite yourself, forgetting about your friend who sat quietly next to you, <em> thank you, Loki.  </em></p><p>“I know that a lot of the troubles the protagonist faces aren’t results of his own coldness or lack of empathy as some would suggest, but his internal struggle at feeling like he doesn’t belong anywhere.” You reach out your hands and gesture to your chest for emphasis. “Like he doesn’t have a homeland to return to. The author himself is bisexual, and I think the culture at the time, back in the 80’s, as well as his own identity made him feel as though his bisexuality was a result of his feeling like he didn’t belong anywhere. Not in India or in Britain, or to any one binary. The shame Karim feels is a reflection of the author’s complex feelings and misplaced guilt that he has towards himself, when he really shouldn’t, and it makes the book uncomfortable to the reader at some parts, because it shows Karim working through aspects of his life that most of us are too scared to even acknowledge in ourselves. He almost enters an arranged marriage, and gets into sexual relationships with men throughout the book which may seem promiscuous, but I don’t think that. Because of everything he’s struggling with - the ostracization from his peers, the political upheaval and his family’s own behavior - all of these make him a difficult protagonist to relate to or empathize with for people who haven’t dealt with stuff like that. Karim is his own character, not the mirror of the audience like many first person narratives are. But that doesn’t mean anyone should be dismissive of the book, the characters or their relationships, even though he’s not a reflection of the stuff that we’re used to being exposed to.”</p><p><em> What a mouthful, </em>you think. But it needed to be said. </p><p>Loki regards your answer for a second. He does this thing sometimes, where he brushes the hand that used to be in his pocket through his hair. He plants his feet firmly on the floor, spins around slowly so that you see his torso contort a bit, and to your shock and happiness, he writes down an annotated version of your response right under the question. </p><p>It was the only response he wrote down all class.</p><p>“I have to say, after everything,” he looks back at you as he places the chalk down, “that was the one response I’ve been looking for.” You grin widely and preen under Loki’s praise, you hope you didn’t look cheesy batting your eyelashes at him. “And as much as I’d like to continue this discussion,” you don’t think he really did, “it’s about time for you all to get going.” </p><p>Everyone scatters. Adorning their bags, bumbling, and the class fills with the sounds of shuffling papers and footsteps. Everything is almost clear when you hear Natasha’s silent packing. “Are you coming?” She asks, noticing that you were in no rush.</p><p>“Oh, um,” you grow sheepish, “I needed to stay back and ask Laufeyson about something. Like, in the essay. A grade.”</p><p>She furrows her eyebrows. “Do you want me to hang back with you?” <em> Oh </em>. She probably thought you were awkward when talking to teachers about serious stuff and would need her assuring presence. But you’ve got this.</p><p>“No, it's okay, you go on ahead. I don’t want to keep you.” You lean in, growing confidential, “I know you don’t wanna interact with him more than necessary.” And throw in an eye roll to imply that you don’t want to either. You were so poised and clever. Maybe you should take more psychology classes.</p><p>“Oh, okay,” her footsteps grow further and further away, “I’ll see you later, then.”</p><p>“See you later!” You cry. The hall was clear of noise when you finally felt a pair of arms settle around your waist from behind, and a jaw flecking gentle kisses on your neck. You giggle and rest your hands on his. If only you shared his constraint. </p><p>“I didn’t know you liked Hanif Kureshi’s work.” Loki mumbles between kisses. He rests his head on your shoulder, just close enough to you so that you could turn your neck and see the dopey smile on his face. </p><p>“I love him. You know,” you mutter as he places a hand underneath your top’s neckline and pulls it down to your shoulder, “the scene in his movie,” he kisses his way down, “<em> My Beautiful Launderette, </em> when they’re making out.” He shuffles closer to you, if that was possible, and grips you tighter, “I watched that on the shitty desktop that my family shares at home when I was 15, and literally every single time something raunchy would happen, someone decided to walk past or try and talk to me. It was so embarrassing. But the scene where they’re,” you gasp as he opens his mouth to take you in with his teeth as though you were bite sized, you melt, <em> “shit. </em> The scene where they’re in the back while his family is outside, and he’s about to fuck his friend - <em> ah!” </em>He bites down, but you stay resolute. He's your teacher after all, and he could tell that he was testing you. “We’re in the same position as them right now. You’re even doing the same things that he does in the scene. Is that on purpose?” You glance at him with a raised eyebrow, in a manner that you hoped looked coy, but it really probably looked like you were losing yourself in him. You would if you could, just melt so you could become a part of him, and leave a part behind whenever he wasn’t around. Your professor made a fool of your convictions. </p><p>He chuckles then and grabs your arm, and spins you around as though you two were dancing. You missed his mouth on your neck, but this felt nice. Domestic. “I can’t believe you noticed. I love how they made a point to use that motif in the movie.” You two sway back and forth in an impromptu dance. “Whenever something happened to one of them, the other would always hug him from behind. I am not quite sure if it was intentional, but the scenes were dealt with so much care, intimacy - while all the other relationships in the movie looked clunky and lacked physical chemistry. Those scenes always shone out for me.”</p><p>“It was intentional, I think.” You grabbed his hand with your right and the chair with your left - dragging them both back to his desk so you could push him down slightly and straddle his lap. He relaxed then, leaned into your touch and the warm glow that the sun from outside coated him in, and slouched in his seat while you comb his hair with your fingers. “You seem to talk about his work differently than you’ve talked about other books so far. With more heart. Is the book personal to you?” You tilt your head. </p><p>He stares at you through half-lidded eyes while your hands caress his hair, cheekbones, forehead, petting loose strands back so you have more surface area for your kisses. “It is. I was nervous for this lesson, I was afraid this would happen. I found the book through the movie, when I was a teenager. The same age that you were when you watched it on your family computer, actually.” There’s a little crease between his brows that forms when he talks, so you kiss it and he relaxes again. “I wasn’t struggling in the exact same way as him or his characters, but I understood them - I understood,” he grapples for words, you kiss his nose, “the feeling of not belonging. Of not having anywhere to settle down. A binary, a <em> homeland, </em>as you put it. Brilliant answer-question, by the way.” The corner of his mouth turns up. You preen again, and he can tell, because he chooses that moment to kiss you. With tongue. But you needed that to say something, so  you broke it. And you’d been with him long enough to notice that he always licked his lips after kissing, swallowing the moment, so you do it for him. </p><p>“I get it, too.” You say. “The feeling his characters have. I know everyone is entitled to their own feelings about art,” you frown then, and switch your position from straddling to sitting sideways in his lap with your legs thrown over the side, “but I almost felt offended with the way they spoke about the characters. Because it really feels like I am them, you know?”</p><p>Loki leans back. “It upsets me that you would feel like that.” And then he places a hand under your chin, “But I understand it, too. I don’t want to go too far into it right now, but the protagonists mold themselves to fit into two families, two cultures. Finding that movie was life changing for me. I felt like, at least in a fictitious world, I wasn’t alone in my struggles.”</p><p>He seemed sad. Maybe you two had always been alone, but now you were together. You reach up to grab his face again, you were doing a lot of that today. “Do you know Farooq Jwaydeh?”</p><p>He gapes at you and pulls back. “Of course I do. Honestly, do you think I got this job through -”</p><p>“<em> Your homeland was the heavens </em> ,” you say, effectively cutting him off. He sharply turns his gaze back to you, “ <em> but you thought That you belonged here, in a world of dust. In the dust you sketched out your own face, But left out just one thing - that first, true place. </em>” </p><p>His eyes are wide. Your hands pull through his hair. “It’s a rough translation,” you note with a racing heart, “but I tried - um, all of Kureshi’s work has this theme of finding a homeland. A family. And I can tell you really like it, and I know you feel the same way about today’s discussion as I do. But if you really feel like that.” You meet his eyes again, and feel him pulling back layers until there was nothing there except for the truths that you sheltered, “I can. I mean, be your homeland.” </p><p>Loki looks as though you are a thief who just stole his breath and ran off with it<em> , </em>never to return. The proof, you note, is his heart beat growing shallow underneath your hand that rested on his pulse.</p><p>You bury your face in his neck as your hands twine around his shoulders. “I will go on a pilgrimage, to you,” you kiss him, returning his fortune from earlier, “I will leave my family in grief and tears and despair, to go to you, and gain kingdom and fortune wide.” You listen to his pulse, his breath. “I’ll find a new kingdom, and rule a hundred lands.”</p><p>You kiss him, with more force, breathing through him, and your fingers work with more stealth than you thought they were capable of to unbutton his pants - there’s a certain part of his hair that he likes getting tugged - and you begin to stroke him <em> up and down </em> . You bite your lip, thinking of the first chapter of <em> The Buddha of Suburbia </em>. </p><p>Loki releases a sort of airy groan, and you change your major and life’s goal at that moment to hearing such a noise again. “If anyone in my city should lack the feet, or conviction to travel, they will journey into you, and I will take you from dust to your homeland of pure gold. I will flood your bosom with it, and map your skin with kisses so I always know where to go,” he makes that noise again, louder, while bucking up into your hand, and you could die happy, “and it will lead to yourself. If any invaders were to see you, he would surely kiss your eyelids and repent.”</p><p>Loki came over your hand then, with tears falling down his cheeks. It was beautiful. Surely his homeland was a heaven of gold. You licked it off, and he shuddered.</p><p>You are embarrassed, when you realize what you’ve just done, and try to scramble off the seat, but his arms cage you from going anywhere. He leans in with a voice more raw than you’ve ever heard it - <em>he’s really crying, </em>you realized in full force <em>- </em>and his nose brushes up to yours. “I’ll be your homeland, too.”</p><p>You kiss then, for a while, but you didn’t go further than that, noses bumping into each other, it’s messy, but fun. He tries to return your favor, but you swat his hand away. Today was about him. And the kisses weren't assertive, nor forceful as they sometimes could be when you were rushing, but just a give and take. Loki was a good kisser.</p><p>“I - ah,” he coughs, almost embarrassed, his eyes aren’t as wet as they were before, but they weren’t dry either. “I have to say, I didn’t take you for the type to enjoy poetry - even though you just combined like six of them. That’s almost disrespectful.” </p><p>You look away and make a pained noise, “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice. I swear I wouldn’t normally do that -” He laughs with his chest, you feel it rumble against you. It is a heavy laugh.</p><p>“It’s alright, now I know what you like outside of what I tell you. And I notice that we were in the same position,” he quirks an eyebrow, “as the boys in the first chapter of the book. Good job.” He needs to stop praising you today. It’s getting to your head. “We’ll discuss poetry more, but as of right now, the revelation has left me a bit more than, ah, stirred.”</p><p>Stirred? </p><p>You glance down. Oh.</p><p>
  <em> Oh.  </em>
</p><p>That was fast.</p><p>“Loki,” you laugh, “I just… Let me go tell Nat to go without me, okay?” He grows even <em> more </em>embarrassed then as you climb off him and he scurries to escort you out. “But now I know,” you place your hands on his shoulders as you reach the door and lean your face up close to him, “poetry?” You raise an eyebrow.</p><p>He nods. </p><p>You kiss him once more, just for good measure, before taking your leave. The weight from earlier, the stress from living was no longer on your shoulders and you felt more wonderful than you had in awhile - until you turned a corner.</p><p>What you saw was a very angry Natasha, and a very guilty looking Wanda. </p><p>“Um, hey.” You let out an awkward laugh, dread beginning to form in the pit of your stomach. “How’s it go-”</p><p>“Wanda just told me,” Natasha interrupts you, “That you’re fucking Professor Laufeyson.”</p><p>Your mouth drops open. A wave of horror washes over your body, settling in your feet and keeping you planted firmly on the ground. You feel like you can’t move, weighed down by shock and dread.</p><p>“Yeah.” Natasha’s tone is heavy, laced with venom as she speaks, but she remains looking calm, her lips pressed into the same thin line they always are. “Wanda assumed I knew. You know, because I’m supposed to be your best friend.”</p><p>“I’m so sorry,” Wanda takes a step towards you, but Nat stops her.</p><p>“I think you should go,” she says. Wanda blinks, looking between you and Natasha. Tentatively, she casts her gaze to the ground. As she passes you, Wanda reaches out, squeezing your shoulder. </p><p>“I’m so sorry.” She says again. She’s gone before you can even respond, leaving you and Nat alone.</p><p>“Look -” you begin, but Nat shakes her head.</p><p>“No,” she says. “No, there’s no ‘look.’ There’s no ‘but.’ You,” she clenches a fist. “You told Wanda something this big-”</p><p>“I didn’t tell her!” You exclaim. You scoff. “What, you’re mad because someone knew before you did? Grow up, Natasha.” A look of fury passes over Nat’s eyes.</p><p>“I don’t care that someone knew before me!” She yells. You flinch. You think of freshman year, when Nat yelled at you in your dorm room. But this was different. You didn’t have the drunkenness to make everything seem less real, and you weren’t fighting over loud music or cluttered rooms. “I care that you didn’t tell me at all. You hid this from me. From everyone! And if you have to do that…” Natasha looks away from you. “Then you know it’s wrong. Somewhere, you know this is wrong.”</p><p>“No, Nat.” You start talking before you even realize it. “I didn’t tell you because you have some type of agenda against Loki. He’s never done anything to you, except maybe ask you to be quiet or take away your phone. And you hold onto that shit, and you never let him off the hook. I didn’t hide this from you because it’s wrong, Natasha. I hid it from you because you’re so fucking unreasonable.”</p><p>Natasha lets out something between a laugh and a screech. A few people passing turn their heads. You feel your face grow hot in anger. </p><p>“He’s never done anything to me?” a grin has plastered itself on Natasha’s face, but it’s manic. Too wide, too desperate. “Loki,” she spits out his name. “Took everything from me. He failed Clint knowing it would mess up his graduation. He hated Clint, and you know that.”</p><p>“You never told me-”</p><p>“I DIDN’T HAVE TO!” Natasha explodes. You rear back in surprise. “You,” she takes a breath, trying to calm herself down. “You knew. I know you did. I never said it out loud because I understood having a class that makes you feel like you’re actually going somewhere in life. You could have your plausible deniability or whatever. But you knew. Deep down, you knew.” Nat’s body goes slack, like this took all the energy out of her. You swallow.</p><p>“I didn’t know Clint.” You say. “But I know Loki.”</p><p>Natasha tenses.</p><p>“Okay.” She picks up her backpack, throwing it over her shoulder and storming away. You look after her.</p><p>“Nat-”</p><p>“Hey,” she turns back, eyes shiny and cheeks wet. “Tell Professor Laufeyson he took away everyone I care about. I hope it keeps that bastard up at night.”</p><p>She leaves. You stare at nothing, your body white-hot and completely on the defense.</p><p>You don’t know what to do. So you run to the only person you  know will take you. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>There’s something different when you get back to the classroom, Loki can tell. </p><p>You slam the door behind you, walking a few steps towards Loki before you stop. You turn back around, locking the door. Loki is cautious when you reach him. He’s never seen you like this. </p><p>You look so lost.</p><p>Loki takes your wrists and tugs you towards his chest. He wraps his arms around you, one hand cradling your head. As he holds you, Loki tries to figure out what could have possibly switched the safe and sentimental mood he was basking in such a small amount of time ago to this. </p><p>You stir in Loki’s arms, pulling away. </p><p>“No,” you shake your head, and before Loki can respond, you grab the thin material of his shirt and yank him forward, your lips joining his. </p><p>This is desperate - not in the way your kisses were from earlier. You weren’t chasing Loki this time, it felt like you were running from something else. You reach forward to palm Loki. He’s still half hard, and responds to your touch. He breaks away, hands on your shoulders to keep you from touching him again. </p><p>“There’s something wrong,” Loki didn’t like seeing you like this. Your lips are swollen, but so are your eyes, like you’ve been crying. Loki wants to whisk you away from here, free you from whatever’s making you hurt. The knowledge that you are is like a weight on Loki’s heart, heavy and all-consuming. All he can think of is making this better. “Tell me, sweetheart.”</p><p>Your eyes flicker up at the pet name, just like Loki knew they would. Still, you aren’t yourself. </p><p>“Please, Loki, I just,” you rest a hand on Loki’s forearm. You swallow, unable to finish your sentence. Your lower lip trembles. “Please.”</p><p>Loki knows what you’re asking for. He wants to do something more, something better. </p><p>But he knows you tell him what you need. And he trusts you. Loki cups your face in his hands, and it almost feels like he’s holding his whole world. There isn’t much that would deter from this. From you.</p><p>Loki presses his lips in a bruising kiss to yours. You respond with just as much intensity, threading your hands through Loki’s hair. He can’t help but groan into your mouth when you give it a sharp tug. You really were getting to know him.</p><p>You press yourself closer to Loki, his hands slipping over your waist and resting on your ass. You surge forward, jumping up. Loki catches you, your legs wrapping around his waist. </p><p>He carries you to the wall, letting you down and holding you against it. Loki studies you intently, taking in every detail he can find. Your eyes, while still sad, are brighter now. Loki claims his small victory.</p><p>You reach forward to unbutton Loki’s pants. You squeeze his cock through his underwear, and Loki hisses. You look up at him, repeating the motion. You take him out, feeling him grow harder and harder under your palm. </p><p>You’re wearing a dress today - <em> good </em>, Loki thinks. He runs a hand up your thigh, feeling you tremble under his touch. He teases you, moving his hand up and down, each time getting closer and closer to where you want his body the most. Loki strokes you over your soaked panties, his head falling against your neck. He kisses your soft skin, over the marks that are already forming from earlier. He wants you to be reminded of him every time you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. </p><p>Loki pushes the fabric to the side, just barely placing his fingers inside you and curling them. You let out a cry, holding tight to Loki’s shoulders. </p><p>“It’s alright,” he coaxes you. “I’m here.” He massages the pad of his thumb tenderly over your clit, taking the time to notice every way your body reacted to him. </p><p>“Loki…” you say, muffled. “Please, I need… I need to feel you.”</p><p>Loki softens, and tilts your chin towards him. He places a kiss to your forehead, slowly drawing away. He’s lining up with your entrance when he stills. </p><p>“What is it?” You ask. You’re somewhere between cross and timid. Loki looks at you.</p><p>“I don’t have protection,” he tells you. Plainly. He isn’t sure how else to. “It’s in my office.”</p><p>You don’t move. </p><p>Slowly, you let out a small breath. Your eyebrows knit, like you’re focusing. You shake your head.</p><p>“It’s okay,” you breathe. Loki’s lips part as his jaw drops open, just a bit. You notice, and clutch his biceps. “I’m on the pill,” you begin to babble. “And I’m not seeing anyone else. I know you aren’t either. I trust you.” You add. </p><p>“Sweetheart…”</p><p>“And,” you swallow. Over his jacket and shirt, you’re tracing circles around Loki’s heart. He can practically feel it melting. “It’s 99% effective. And we’re always careful, so…” </p><p>You look away. Loki can almost feel your skin go cold, feel you drawing away from him. </p><p>He’s going to pull you back. </p><p>He’s just not sure how. You’re here, and needy is his arms. Loki understands what you’re feeling, he knows what it is like to want closeness. He feels it too. Now, and whenever you’re around. </p><p>“I take it to the minute every day,” you won’t even meet Loki’s eyes. It shatters him, to know you still feel small around him. To know that no matter what you ask, you always think it’s too much. It’s not. It’s never enough.</p><p>You’re never enough. You’re insatiable. </p><p>“Alright,” he agrees quietly. Loki clutches you tighter, it’s like second nature to him. He’s always holding you, always with intent. “Okay, sweetheart.” Loki feels his skin crawling with anticipation. There’s worry, too, because he knows - he <em> knows </em> you shouldn’t be doing this. </p><p>But… </p><p>Loki thinks of you, hurting. This was what you wanted. And he thinks of your sex, how it will around his cock with nothing else. Just your bodies, joined. </p><p>“Ready?” He asks, as much to himself as to you.</p><p>You nod eagerly, and Loki bunches your dress around your hips. He preps you with the head of his cock, letting you adjust. Loki pauses, taking a shaking breath. Before he can second guess anything (and he hates second guessing. Loki learned years ago how to trust himself; he didn’t want to forget), he slides inside you with one smooth move of his hips. </p><p>You clench around him, fluttering on Loki’s cock and keening under his attention. You moan his name, and Loki relishes on the sound of it rolling out of your lips. His name was safe in your mouth, he was sure of it. </p><p>“You,” your hand slips down the back of Loki’s shirt, under his collar and warming his skin. “It's - It's so good.”</p><p>Loki shudders, pulling out so he can thrust into you again. You let out a mewl, and Loki loves it when you do that. He lets out a pleased growl.</p><p>It was like ecstasy, the feeling of you. Something about this was different than the other times Loki had shared with you. Perhaps it was the desperation in the air, or the fact Loki could feel every part of your warmth around him. Nothing separated your bodies as you became one. Every shudder, every shift, Loki felt around his cock, and he felt intoxicated. You were stronger than any drug Loki could find at the frat houses on campus. This exchange of give and take had become more important to him each time he saw you.</p><p>You shift your hands so they’re on Loki’s ass again, pulling him forward with every thrust. The sound of skin hitting skin echoes throughout the classroom, and paired with your moans, Loki begins to lose himself. He closes his eyes, letting his physicality work from what he feels from you, not what he sees. Loki times every thrust with your hands, every shudder with your sounds of pleasure. He listens, pounding into you harder with each stroke. It isn’t long before you stutter, shaking as your orgasm rips through your body. Loki follows quickly after, hitting your center one last time before he comes deep inside you. You watch Loki finish, staring at him through wide eyes and cradling him against you.</p><p>Loki pulls out and away, then catches you when your knees buckle. “Careful,” he warns you. He presses a fleeting kiss to the inside of your wrist. A small smile forms on your lips. Just the tiniest. </p><p>Loki puts himself away, then takes care to see that you get cleaned up. Despite seeing both of your fluids running down your thighs…  Loki can’t help but be forlorn. It’s hard to see you without your spark. </p><p>There is something else Loki could do to help.</p><p>Loki swallows. He’s been putting this off for a long time, dodging your implications and invitations. He thinks about the consequences of the question he’s about to ask you, carefully weighing the pros and cons of the outcome. </p><p>It’s worth it, he decides, and the risk is low anyway. It’s getting late.</p><p>“Sweetheart,” Loki stops you before you can say anything. “Would you like to come to my house for the night?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I mean... I said a lot happened in this chapter, right?</p><p>Please leave some kudos if you haven't and please let me know what you think! My beta and I have been working on this chapter since February, so we're ready to see how you all feel about it! You can also always visit my tumblr, @ lowkeyorloki.</p><p>Also, not to keep piling the plot on, but next week's chapter features the twist of this fic. I don't think anyone will see it coming, so come prepared :))</p><p>See you all next week &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Part XXIII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Loki takes you home. His home.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As usual, my beta is awesome and you should check them out! @ dilfism</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loki is quiet as he drives you to his place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You have no idea where it is. No idea what to expect. You think of all the times you’ve tried to ask Loki about his home, his life. You knew Loki, you were sure of that. But you didn’t know much of his story. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t need to, necessarily. But you wouldn’t mind knowing Loki. All of him, that is. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand is on your thigh, like it tends to be when he’s driving you. You bring it up to your lips, pressing a kiss to the inside of Loki’s wrist. You can see him slouch, visibly relaxing when you do. You sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s only fair for him to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Natasha,” you say in a voice so low you know Loki won’t hear you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm?” He asks, looking at you. His face falls in concern. “Are you cold?” He asks, then turns on the heat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright,” you say, but you shiver. Loki raises an eyebrow at you. You look away. “It’s Natasha,” you repeat. “She’s mad at me,” your voice wobbles when you admit that. You swallow. You aren’t used to saying that. “And I think it’s a pretty big deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki looks at you, for as long as he can before he has to turn back to the road. It’s starting to get dark, the street lights flickering to life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know why she’s upset?” Loki asks. Your chest tightens. You squeeze Loki’s hand tighter. You didn’t want to lose him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” You whisper. Ashamed. Tears begin to prick at your eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t want to be dramatic, but you were pretty sure this was it. The beginning of the end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Loki says gently. “You don’t have to tell me, but you absolutely can. There have been people I’ve fought with - Thor, my father Odin. I know a thing or two about reconciliation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you nod. You know Loki is telling the truth, and you want to be comforted, you just… you don’t want Loki to know you let him down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki doesn’t say anything. You’re pretty sure he’s waiting, letting you decide what you want to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s upset,” you say. “Because my friend Wanda found out about you and I. And Nat is, you know, she’s supposed to be my best friend. And I didn’t tell her.” You steal a glance at Loki. His brow is furrowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lets out a long sigh, which fills you with dread. “And that’s all?” You have to admit, it discourages you. You look at Loki. How old was he? Around forty, you guessed. Older than you, and old enough to be unconcerned with drama. That was probably what this seemed like to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You start to feel small. Young and inexperienced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” you whisper. “She hates you, Loki. She thinks you ruined Clint Barton’s life. And she thinks I betrayed her, or something, by being with you. She says I knew, but she never told me, and even if, you’re…” you trail off. Loki tugs his hand away, and it makes you feel like you’re going to throw up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know?” He asks. “Did you know I was the one to fail Clint?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She never said that to me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But did you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bow your head, looking at your feet. You can barely make them out in the dark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somewhere in the back of my head, yeah.” You admit. It doesn’t feel good to say it out loud. You wait for a few seconds. “What happened between you and Clint?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s grip tightens on the steering wheel. Without a word, he pulls over on the side on the road, flicking on a light and turning to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” he says. You shrink back, you can’t help it. This is the first time today Loki sounds angry. “I am more than willing to talk about this if it’s something you think matters to us. But I don’t think now is the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bite the inside of your cheek, unable to meet Loki’s eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad at me?” You ask. “Because Wanda swore she wouldn’t say anything, and Nat is - I don’t think she will, but I’ve never seen her so angry, and I just don’t know -” God, you feel and probably look pathetic, and you’re seriously about to cry in front of Loki again, but you just. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You have to know. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart,” Loki’s fingers tilt your chin towards him. “I am,” Loki makes an annoyed noise. “I’m frustrated at the situation, but not at you. I’m… worried, as I’m sure you are. But it won’t do any good to dwell on it now.” You can see now, Loki is clearly tense. His jaw is set and one of his hands is balled in a fist. “I am not angry with you. That much I am sure of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You nod, relief washing over you. You’re suddenly overcome with </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span>, like you have to tell Loki how sorry you are. How much you appreciate him. You begin to count the ways you can say sorry, then the ways you can show it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop overthinking,” Loki commands, as if he knows what you’re thinking. He probably does. He unbuckles, leaning over so he can kiss your cheek. His lips are so soft. You think about how they feel in other parts of your body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a sigh, resting a hand on Loki’s chest. You like feeling his heartbeat. It’s always steadier than yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m okay now,” you announce. Maybe if you said it then it would become true. The abruptness of the statement was most likely weird, but Loki had the soothing effect on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not asking you to be,” Loki responds. His hand rubs up and down your leg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” you say. “Thank you, Loki.” Your tone is so earnest, and Loki can tell. His eyes widen slightly, just for a moment. You lean over so you can hug him. The gearshift presses uncomfortably against your hip when you do, but you ignore it. You press a long, heavy kiss to Loki’s throat before sitting back. Loki’s eyes are dark when he watches you again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns the car back on. “I think,” he says, his hand on your thigh but dangerously close to your core. “We should get going.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is your house?” You ask, jaw dropping. Loki walks behind you, resting a hand on the small of your back. In spite of your surprise, you lean into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he says. “Not what you were expecting?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was actually exactly what you expected. Just… not on a professor’s salary. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki didn’t live in a house. He lived in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>mansion</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t in town, or maybe it was, but barely. The mansion was at least forty minutes from campus, and it was hidden in trees. It was brick, with a long gravel driveway and ornate porch. You could count two stories, but it looked like there was an attic as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on,” Loki says, amused, and nudges you forward. You move, staying glued to Loki’s side as he unlocks the door and lets you in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re shocked</span>
  <em>
    <span> again</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The house looks even bigger on the inside. There’s a massive staircase across the room. To your right, you see a kitchen and dining room. On the other side, the living room. The inside of the house doesn’t look anything like the outside. It was bright (as bright as it could be this late, at least) and happy, definitely comfortably lived in. There’s dirt where you’re standing in the entryway, and it doesn’t seem very Loki-like to allow that at all. For some reason, you find it cute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going up the stairs,” Loki whispers in your ear. His voice, even if soft, cuts through the emptiness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ssh,” Loki shushes you. “Everything will still be here in the morning.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand reaches down, so one is resting on your shoulder and the other on your ass. It doesn’t seem like he wants it to lead to anything else, necessarily. You think Loki just wants to… touch you. Let you know he’s here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This way,” he says, and leads you up the staircase, He’s quiet, and doesn’t turn on any lights until he reaches what you assume is his room. Brightness floods your eyes, and they adjust just in time to see Loki taking off his suit jacket. He’s unbuttoning his sleeves, rolling them up his forearms when he notices you watching. He tilts his head, beckoning you. You walk towards him, threading your fingers through his and tucking your head under his chin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” you say. “I… I’m not really sure what I want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki sighs, untangling one of his hands so he can rest it on the back of your head. He cradles you, swaying slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” he murmurs. “You’ve had a long day,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you think to yourself somewhat bitterly. You close your eyes, trying to get lost in Loki. You can almost feel his skin on yours, separated only by his thin buttoned shirt and your dress. You feel safe here, in Loki’s arms. The heat is blasting around you, making you the best type of drowsy. Soon enough, you’re bracing yourself against your professor, letting him support all of your weight. “Poor girl,” he hums. “You just need some attention right now, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes you a moment to respond, so Loki gently pinches your waist. You stir. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” you admit. “But…” you think of Natasha and Wanda, then knit your eyebrows together. “Only if it’s from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lets out a long sigh, his finger tracing circles on the back of your neck. “On the bed, sweetheart,” he commands softly, and lets you go. You miss him almost instantly, but listen. You’re climbing on his massive bed when - “take off your dress.” Loki says, and he almost sounds sad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You obey, tugging your dress over your head and letting it fall to the floor. Then, just for good measure, just because Loki suddenly seems so melancholic, you take off your bra and underwear too so you’re lying completely bare on his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sheets are maybe the softest material you’ve ever felt, and your eyes start to drift shut immediately, but snap open again when you see Loki crawling over you. He presses the length of his body against yours, the friction of his clothed self against your naked skin making your insides turn to mush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You make a sound of protest, and Loki slows. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you,” Loki runs his hand over the inside of your thigh. You start to stutter, so you tug on Loki’s shirt, hoping he gets the message. He does, standing up to strip until he’s on full display as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He returns his attention to your thighs, wedging himself between them. He trails his thumb up, then repeats the motion with his mouth. Loki’s lips and tongue are hot and searing, and you let out something between a moan and a cry, threading your fingers in Loki’s hair. He smiles against your skin, and your hips cant, wanting to feel more of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” you find yourself begging already. Loki continues kissing your thighs, which is probably supposed to bring you comfort, but it just reminds you he’s not touching you </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “Please,” you repeat, and Loki meets your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please what?” He asks, his fingers drumming against your calf. He’s half hard, you can tell, and there’s something about it that comforts you. It’s like a reminder he wants you, but only if you want him too. “You want my cock again, don’t you? For the third time today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would be the third time, the realization dawns on you. First the handjob, then the sex, both of which happened in the classroom. You shudder, suddenly thinking about how that meant Loki’s cum was both in your stomach and pussy. It just makes you want him more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” you reach for Loki’s hand, which he gives you. “Yes, Loki, I do. I… I want your cock again.” You’re wet, whether it’s from earlier or right now, you aren’t sure, but you’re wet and dripping and aching for Loki to take care of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki makes a humming noise, and with his free hand, reaches between your legs and traces your lips. You bite back a moan as he covers his fingers in your juices, watching intently and finding his way through every fold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he shakes his head. You feel your blood run col. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was he saying no? Didn’t he want you? Was he mad? Had you pushed him too far - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart.” Loki’s strong voice brings you back. You look at him with wide eyes. “So much worrying,” he says, the sadness returning to his voice. God, it almost breaks your heart. “I can’t do that for you, not tonight. You’re spent, sweet girl, you can’t handle it again.” He’s still looking at your swollen center, stroking you with feather light touches that gradually make your breathing more and more erratic. “But I can give you something else,” Loki’s tongue darts out of his mouth and licks his lips. “Something… Softer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” you nod. You’ll never turn down Loki, ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Loki responds. He lets go of your hand, then pushes your knees further apart. You’re on full display for him now, and Loki can lay comfortably between your thighs. “You’re so wet,” he muses. He looks up at you, and without breaking eye contact, he licks his fingers clean until there’s no more of you left on them. You shudder. His hand finds its way back, rubbing harsh circles on your clit. Your hips buck, and that’s when you really see just how wet you are. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-sorry.” You stutter out. “Pro- bably ruining your sheets,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t give a shit about the sheets,” Loki says in a deep voice, and it sends shivers down your spine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki begins licking his way towards your cunt, leaving hot trails up the insides of your thighs. You’re a mewling mess by the time he finally reaches your core, and you’re so ready. You can feel his breath getting closer and closer when- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You feel a long, wet lick where your leg meets your core, inches away from where you need to feel Loki the most. He chuckles when you whine, his breath hitting your clit, and then does the same to the other side, and you’re practically screaming for him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>just put his tongue in you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful,” Loki says. “Look at me, sweetheart. You’re so… pretty. Pretty girl, you smell and taste and look amazing and I-” Loki cuts himself off. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Look</span>
  </em>
  <span> at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can’t, covering your face with your hands. Loki’s teasing, mixed with his praise, it’s too much. You don’t know exactly why this is coming over you, but you can’t accept compliments right now, you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and you especially can’t look Loki in the eyes while he gives them out so freely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you tell him that, and Loki’s face falls. He presses an open mouthed kiss to your clit, which makes you flutter, and then he pulls himself up and lays down next to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart,” he says. You bury your face in the crook of his neck. “You’re shaking,” Loki lets his fingers ghost over the skin of your tummy. “Goosebumps.” He whispers. He wraps his arms around you tighter, holding you close. He sighs into your hair. “Why won’t you let me love you?”</span>
</p><p>You stop moving, instantly still at the question. </p><p>
  <span>Let him love you?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why wouldn’t you let </span>
  <em>
    <span>Loki</span>
  </em>
  <span> love you?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he had never said it before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not for real. Loki had said he was in love with you, so many times, but he had never looked you in the eyes and said it. It was always in passing. It was always in regards to something else. You bite your lip, remembering the last time Loki used that word with you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t think the university would be too thrilled about me being in love with a student</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And even if… You think back to your conversation with Loki in the car, just about an hour ago, and how small you felt. How could you take Loki seriously when he praised you? He was older, smarter, and looked like a god. You paled in comparison to Loki. In every single way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let your hand roam Loki’s chest. One of your fingers catches on Loki’s nipple, just the way you know he likes it, and he hisses. You press your lips to his collarbone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Distractions,” he chastises you. “Answer my question.” He buries his nose in your hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t like any of my answers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll give you partial credit for effort.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This gets a small laugh out of you, but not much else. You start to feel bad. You worry because that’s what you do, and Loki worries because you worry, which makes you worry all over again. He was right; you think too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make me feel good,” you tell him, hoping it helps. He nods, you can feel Loki’s jaw bumping your temple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you make me feel good,” he responds. “In more ways than one. That isn’t the issue here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just,” fatigue begins to cloud your voice. “I’m just dramatic right now. It’s been a rough day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You aren’t being dramatic,” Loki begins to rub your neck, and you go limp as he tries to ease the stress out of you. “You are allowed to feel things. You are allowed to react.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hate that being told that makes you feel better, but it does. You manage to snuggle even closer to Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s rich coming from you. You have busts of famous stoics on your desk,” the harsh brow of the Seneca statue that faces the class comes to mind. Loki could look that harsh, that set in stone sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not about me right now. It’s about you, sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You open your eyes, and Loki is staring down at you. Your heart skips a beat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki…” you begin to say, but you’re cut off by a knock on the door. Knitting your eyebrows, you look towards it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daddy?” a little boy’s voice asks. Loki freezes, and you bolt upright, eyes wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” you ask, scrambling to your feet. “Do you have a kid?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>:)))))</p><p>What do you guys think? Even though it's a bit short, this is one of my favorite chapters, so I'd love to know how y'all feel about it! And there's that twist I've been talking about for awhile now. How do you guys feel about it? What do you think will happen?</p><p>If being anonymous appeals to you, you can always come visit me @ lowkeyorloki on tumblr. </p><p>I'll see everyone next week &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Part XXIV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you meet Loki's son.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright, it's finally Thursday! I know I left off on a pretty intense cliffhanger, so I'll keep it short. Be sure to visit my beta, @ dilfism, because they make this all possible. </p><p>Alright, that's it. Happy reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loki blinks, clearly caught off guard. But just as soon he’s surprised, he’s composed again. He tosses you one of his shirts, the one he had just taken off - blue, with white buttons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put that on.” He hisses, stepping into a pair of sweatpants and tugging a plain shirt over his head. You listen, because you always listen to Loki, and find your discarded underwear and put those back on too. Loki eyes you up and down, and doesn’t say if he finds your attire indecent (or whatever), he just unlocks and opens his bedroom door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a little boy there, with wide green eyes. You can’t help it as your mouth drops open in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Loki has a son? </span>
  </em>
  <span>You blink a few times, but the boy stays there. He’s definitely not some fatigue-induced image. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s young - you’re not the best at ages, but you know he couldn’t even be eight. He has dark hair that doesn’t quite match Loki’s. It’s brown, the shade of brown that you would imagine occurs right before black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks almost exactly like your professor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who is that?” He asks, pointing at you. Loki clears his throat and kneels, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my friend. A special friend.” Your cheeks burn at the title as Loki tells him your name. The boy smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like your name,” he says to you, “but I like mine more. It’s Narvi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Loki says with a tone of warning you know all too well. “Be nice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” you say to Loki, trying to break out of your shocked trance. He catches your eye as you bend down. “Narvi. That is a pretty cool name,” the boy beams. “How old are you, Narvi?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Six!” Narvi says proudly, holding up five fingers. You crinkle your nose, then raise your index finger. </span>
  <em>
    <span>One more</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you mouth. The boy laughs, then holds up one more finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you go! Good job.” you tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, little man,” Loki says, and your heart just about breaks at how cute his nickname for his son is. “What do you need? Was it another nightmare?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narvi purses his lips, and shakes his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m thirsty.” He says. Loki sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I left a cup of water by your bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I drank it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki rolls his eyes, but ruffles Narvi’s hair at the same time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay. One more glass, then we go to bed.” Loki stands up, taking Narvi’s hand and leading him towards what you assume is the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can she come?” Narvi points at you. “She looks nice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look at Loki, who is either begging you to come or stay with just his eyes. For once, you can’t read him, you can’t tell what he wants you to do. You swallow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of you wordlessly leave the room and walk down the stairs. Your thoughts go crazy trying to understand what’s happening, because this is all happening very, very fast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki has a son. Or a kid he takes care of. Loki didn’t tell you that. Which means he didn’t want you to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You begin to realize why Loki never wanted to bring you home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure it wasn’t a nightmare?” Loki asks Narvi once you’re all in the kitchen. He’s taking a glass out of one of the cupboards. “You can tell me.” Narvi glances at you, and Loki lets out a breathy laugh. “You can tell her too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narvi traces one of the outlines on his pajamas - they’re covered in little airplanes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” He says. Loki’s face falls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Narvi,” Narvi sniffs, like he’s about to cry. He runs over to Loki, who picks him up. Loki rests Narvi on his hip, and the boy hides his face in the crook of Loki’s neck. He’s not crying, but he’s definitely about to. You swallow, feeling helpless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know,” you say slowly, not wanting to ruin the moment or intrude. “I used to have nightmares too.” Narvi looks at you with shining eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did?” He asks. You nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh. You know what my mom used to do to make me feel better?” Narvi shakes his little head. “She’d make me warm milk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a mom.” Narvi says. Your blood rushes to your ears, you can hear it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-Well,” you stutter a bit, unsure of how to respond to that. “I can make it for you. If that’s okay,” you look at Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does that sound good?” he asks Narvi, who says yes. “Perfect. Let’s help her. I’ll get the cups if you get the milk.” with that Loki sets Narvi back down. You’re already standing near the stove, so you turn one of the burners on. Loki, already holding a mug, appears next to you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he murmurs, his fingers brushing your knuckles as he hands you the cup. It’s ceramic, the type that you could go make yourself.. You flip it over, seeing Loki and Narvi’s names scrawled on the bottom. You look back at Loki, and he’s close, so close, and somehow this moment feels more intimate than any other you’re shared with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here.” Narvi hands you a gallon of milk before you can respond to Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, dude.” You say. He smiles through shiny eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dude.” He says back. Then he giggles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You try not to listen as Loki tucks Narvi in. You’re back in Loki’s room, arms crossed and biting your nails (despite your best efforts). Narvi’s room seems to be down the hall, and with both his door and Loki’s open, the sound carries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you Daddy. I’m sorry I woke up again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ssshh,” you hear Loki shush him. “You know you don’t have to be sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still am, though.” Loki sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, little man, I know,” the floor creaks, and you assume Loki stood up. “Goodnight, Narvi. I love you too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hear Loki’s footsteps approach in your direction, and you quickly sit on Loki’s bed, trying to act like you hadn’t heard any of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you heard all of that,” Loki tells you. Because he’s just the king of dramatic irony.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… Yeah.” You admit. The bed dips under Loki’s weight as he sits down. You face him, crossing your legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know this is a lot to process.” Loki says. You nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you repeat, because what else are you supposed to say? “Is there a reason you didn’t want to tell me you had a son?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki opens his mouth, then shuts it again. He seems to be settling on what words to say, and you try to give him a grace period. This was probably harder for him than you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. And no.” Loki puts a hand on your knee. It’s bare - his button down shirt is pooled around your hips. The contact makes you relax, just a bit. “It’s a long story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You kind of shrug, giving Loki a weird look. “It’s been a long day. I, um, don’t think anything else can catch me off guard at this point.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That,” Loki runs a hand through his hair. “I understand.” He pauses. “Do you remember my family? Thor, my brother, and Odin, my father?” You nod. “Good. Alright. Odin raised me, but I’m not his. I was adopted as an infant. I didn’t meet my father, Laufey, until I was… I would have been seventeen.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki was adopted? In a way, that makes sense. From what you’d heard about Thor they seemed to be opposites. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My father - Odin - and I never got along. He was constantly comparing me to Thor, making me out to be less than him. Thor tried to make it better, but he was somewhat stupid at the time. So I moved out and lived with my biological father. Laufey.” Loki pinches the bridge of his nose. “It was a mistake. I lived with him for eight months before Thor showed up asking for me to come back home. And I did. I kept in contact with Laufey, though, and eventually, years later, I learned he had another son. And I- I knew the child couldn’t stay there. What Laufey did to me when I was seventeen… I couldn’t imagine what Narvi would have gone through.” Loki clears his throat, like just the thought is enough to cause him distress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was. You reach forward, taking Loki’s hand and squeezing it once. He gives you a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, to be brief, I adopted Narvi, my half-brother. He came to live with me when he was three. He’s been here ever since.” Loki swallows. “And the nightmares… I just wish I had adopted him sooner. But he was one and a half by the time I met him, and the adoption process took-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki, no,” you take the man’s face in your hands. He looks distant, and sad. So sad, you’ve never seen him like this. It makes a lump form in your throat. You lean forward to press a kiss on Loki’s face- next to his eye, right where the slightest crow’s feet are starting to form. “Don’t. What you did was so selfless, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Don’t punish yourself for hypotheticals, I’m… God, I think I’m begging you.” You rest your forehead against his. Loki lays his hands on your hips, closing his eyes and simply letting you embrace him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your heart feels full and broken at the same time. You tug Loki closer, and he’s heavy, so you fall back onto the pillows. Loki’s body lands on top of your own, and you think he’s going to move, but he doesn’t. Loki lets his head rest on your chest, and wraps his arms around your waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You comb your fingers through Loki’s hair, wrapping locks around your finger and then letting them loose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki?” You ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” His voice is muffled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just… It kind of… sucks, that you kept this from me, but I do get it, and I,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>God</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you never knew what to say around him. “It might take me a bit to get used to it, but you’re… you’re so good, Loki. The best. You just make me </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” You sounded so dumb. You always did around Loki. It was selfish for you to make this about yourself, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki meets your eyes, seeming tired, but awake at the same time. You wonder how he manages to do that, be a walking contradiction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the smartest girl I’ve met, but you can be quite stupid, so I’m going to tell you plainly.” you smile, Loki’s supposed insults doing nothing to faze you. He gives you a lazy smile back. “I love you more with every passing moment. Someday I think I’ll love you too much. I’m looking forward to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your heart speeds up when Loki says that, which is embarrassing, because you know he can feel it. But you’re both too tired for games. The light begins to hurt your eyes, so you let them drift close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You must have fallen asleep, because the next time you open your eyes, it’s morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You’re alone in Loki’s king-sized bed when you wake up. You don’t recognize where you are for a moment, and then remember.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki. Adoption. Brother-son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was safe to say you were still processing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You pull on a pair of jeans, but keep Loki’s shirt. It smells like him, the whole house does. It makes you feel warm. You poke your head out of Loki’s room, looking down the hallway. No one. You check Narvi’s room. Empty as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You make your way to the kitchen, still taking in how big Loki’s home is, and find a note on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Taking Narvi to Thor’s. Back by 9.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki could have just texted you. But you like that he didn’t. You pocket the note, because you’re sentimental and a little bit in love. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, a lot. So much that when you hear Loki’s car pull up in the driveway, you rush to meet him at the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You open it for him, watching as Loki enters with two coffees and a pastry bag in his hands. You take one of the coffees, trying to help. He lets you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for not being here when you woke up.” He immediately apologizes. You shake your head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even been up for ten minutes,” you assure him. Loki doesn’t look convinced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Normally Thor takes Narvi to school, and takes care of him on Saturdays.” Loki explains. “And brings him home. But he told me he was unable to last minute, and you looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to wake you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” you say. Loki sits at the table, gesturing for you to do the same. You do, and Loki swaps the coffee in his hand for the one in yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you want the black coffee,” he explains. You make a face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope.” You say, but you don’t need to, because Loki already knows that. You’re both quiet then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi seems-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi liked-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You and Loki start to talk at the same time, you force a laugh, looking down shyly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” you say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi talked about you.” Loki says. “The whole car ride. You seem to be quite popular with six year olds. Or mine, at least.” You smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just going to say he’s a sweet kid,” you tell Loki, “but I’m not surprised. He’s got a pretty amazing dad.” You’re quiet for a moment. “Look, Loki… I don’t want to overstep, but… Is there a reason? You didn’t tell me about Narvi?” You look into your coffee. “Because you can tell me, if you don’t want me around him, or if you don’t want me coming over. I understand now, why you never invited me here, and I -” Loki says your name firmly, so you stop talking. Just like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t you,” he says, his expression softening. “Or, at least, nothing about you.” He reaches forward, taking your hand. “You’re my student, sweetheart. That makes our… relationship complicated enough. To tell you I have a son, it just seemed like too much. I didn’t want you feeling responsible for anything. And I didn’t want to lose you.” He meets your eyes. “I still don’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let a breath out. Slowly, you stand up, making your way over to where Loki is sitting. You bend down, placing your lips against his in a slow, emotion-filled kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not gonna lose me,” you say into Loki’s mouth, and he grabs your hips in response, pulling you onto his lap. These are just kitchen table chairs, your feet touch the ground as your knees come to rest over Loki’s hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise?” He asks. You smile softly, and slowly gather Loki’s hair into a bun before securing it with the hair tie you have around your wrist. You lean forward, kissing the line of his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. But…” You bite your lip. You don’t want to push Loki away, but this was </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and with everything else going on in your life right now, you needed some reassurance. “No more secrets, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand runs from the small of your back to the nape of your neck, and he pulls you close to place a slow kiss on your forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, if you know anything about Norse mythology, you'll know I tweaked everything a bit. What do you think? How do you feel about this chapter? Kudos and comments especially help me so much! As always, you can always come visit on my tumblr, @ lowkeyorloki. If you're shy, I have anonymous messages/asks on :')</p><p>For those of you feeling like the reader is underreacting, I hear you. Next week's chapter will be about her trying to process everything she went through this ONE day (poor thing. I always torture y/n in my fics).</p><p>I hope you enjoyed this, and I'll see you all next week &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Part XXV</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Loki gives you a call.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It’s Loki who convinces you not to skip his class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of the reason is because the last time you did left a bad taste in his mouth, but mostly because he was pretty sure the longer you avoided Natasha, the angrier she would get - which was definitely right. You weren’t exactly sure what you were going to do, but giving her (and yourself) a few weeks to cool off seemed like the best plan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re both stubborn, neither of you willing to give up your usual seats. Nat copes by keeping her stare glued to the front of the room. You elect to keep your head bowed as you scribble in the margins of your notebook. You don’t want Natasha to see you even look at Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two hours can’t pass soon enough. By the time class ends, you’re more uneasy than ever. Instinctively, you lean over and start rifling through your bag so you can stay in the classroom even after everyone else leaves. But you catch yourself; Natasha knows now, and she’ll notice if you’re in the classroom even one second longer than anyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, you stand up, tossing your bag over your shoulder and walking towards the door. You’re able to catch Loki’s eye for a second, and you hope he understands what’s happening. He’s smart. You’re sure he does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki has a meeting today, so you can’t see him in his office. You bite your lip as you make your way to your car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can go one day without seeing Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s… It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ever since last week, you’ve just been trying to distract yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Between your fight with Natasha, Loki confirming </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> went down between him and Clint, and, oh yeah, the fact Loki was a whole ass father.... Well, trying to find other things to think about was probably the best thing you could do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Friday, you finished your homework for the weekend as soon as you got home (at least your pent up rage towards Natasha was good for </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>), and you cleaned your apartment too. Usually you feel good after being productive, but today, you still feel deflated. You collapse on the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Natasha hadn't been acting weird you could have gotten a few minutes alone with Loki in the classroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sigh, unconsciously squeezing your thighs together when you think of Loki. You had a lot of energy right now. Normally, being with Loki tired you out in multiple ways. He always made you think harder, consider new things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then, of course, he wore you out physically. You never complained about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You shake your head, standing up again and pinching the bridge of your nose. You didn’t like being like this. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Needy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It made you feel stupid. You were a grown woman, you had a home and a car and paid bills. You should be able to go one day without seeing your boyfriend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You pace around the living room for a minute before you realize you’re driving yourself insane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A shower,” you mutter to yourself. “I’m going to take a shower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You grab a towel while you wait for the water to heat up, and once it does, you quickly strip and step into the shower. You feel a bit better when the water hits your scalp, covering your body in warm waves that soothe your tense shoulders. You brace yourself against the tile wall, dipping your head and just standing there. You wish you had thought to bring a speaker to play some music, or maybe even listen to a podcast, but the silence is nice too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You breathe in, and you breathe out. Your mind is starting to clear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point you realize you’re crying, tears silently rolling down your cheeks and joining the rest of the wetness on your body. It takes you by surprise, you’re not even sure when that started, but now you can’t seem to stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly but surely, you begin to lose control of your breath until sobs are wracking your body, and you slide down the wall until you’re sitting with your knees pulled against your chest. Your chest is heaving, and you see your nails digging into the soft skin of your legs. You don’t feel it though. You can’t feel anything but confusion, unsure of what you’re experiencing or why you’re going through it. You just cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m overwhelmed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you realize once the water has run cold. You swallow, your strong reaction beginning to ebb away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even as you start to calm down, you don’t move. You stay under the cold stream shivering until you hear your phone ring from your bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even though you’re freezing, the only thing you put on is a pair of underpants and Loki’s shirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the same one from when you met Narvi - you wore it home, and haven’t been able to give it back. You’re thankful for that now. The shirt still smells like Loki, and you need the comfort right now. It’s soft too, broken in and perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You lay down, opening your phone. One missed call. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You almost cry again. You need this. You hate to admit it and you feel so dependent, but you need someone right now and Loki…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is the ideal person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You call him back, biting your nails as you wait for him to pick up. It takes a couple seconds, but he does, greeting you with a smile in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, sweetheart.” He says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Loki,” your voice comes out a bit more hoarse than you thought. You flinch, leaning over to grab your water bottle. You take a sip while Loki talks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to check in,” he explains. “You didn’t look too good when you left class in the afternoon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you agree. “It’s just weird. It’s been a whole week since I’ve talked to Nat, and I see her in your class, so it’s just…” You hope Loki will keep speaking, because at the mention of Natasha’s cold behavior, you feel a lump forming in your throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it’s stressful,” Loki tells you. You nod, then quickly remember he can’t see you. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you think to yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s exactly what it is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of you say anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart?” You hear worry seeping through Loki’s tone. “Are you alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You open your mouth to say yes, but shut it quickly. You don’t want to lie to Loki, and you also really don’t feel good. You know he could make you feel better, you just had to let him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s not that simple. You look up, willing the tears in your eyes to magically disappear. You had a very specific image. People thought you were grounded and smart. Loki was no exception to that - he’d admitted before that he noticed you for your work in class. Your tenacity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't like Loki had never seen you upset before. But he’s only ever seen you mad, not sad, and there was a difference. You couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> anything with yourself right now. You’re… useless. In anger, you could still seem strong, and powerful. Capable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like this, you’re nothing. Loki didn’t want that. No one did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m, uh,” you swallow. “Just having a bit of a rough day. Nothing - nothing too bad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can practically see Loki’s brow furrowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” He asks slowly. You bite your lip. He knows you well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say, but your voice cracks, and you know Loki noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Talk to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hold the phone away from you as you stifle a sob that Loki definitely hears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” you hear him call, and shakily, you bring the phone back to your ear. “I need you to relax, love, okay?” You take a deep breath. “Good,” Loki says. “Are you - where are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m in my room,” you say, your voice sounding as wrecked as you feel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright.” Loki’s voice is so airy. “You need to relax, love, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you agree, because he’s right. Maybe the most right he’s ever been, you’re obviously a mess, and you’re tired, and -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you lay down?” Loki asks, pulling you out of your thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” you kind of stutter. “Yeah.” You lay down, purposely making the sheets rustle. You want to make sure Loki knows you’re doing what he asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he says, and it makes your eyes flutter shut for a moment. “Can you put me on speaker, sweetheart? And lay your phone on the bedside table, or your chest… let your hands rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You do what he asks, choosing to lay the phone on your sternum. When Loki speaks again, you can feel vibrations bloom over your chest. It’s almost like he’s there with you, murmuring niceties into your skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Done,” you whisper. “Wait.” You stand up quickly, turning off the light before settling back down. The aching behind your eyes gets a bit better without the harsh yellow. “It’s better now.” You tell him. Loki makes a hum of approval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad to hear it,” he tells you. You close your eyes, focusing on Loki’s voice. “Are you tired?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bit,” you respond. Your eyes fly open. “It’s late. Does Narvi need you? Because I can -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He went to sleep a few hours ago,” Loki soothes you. “You’re fine. I mean it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” you try to believe him, to just calm down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Close your eyes again,” Loki says, somehow knowing they were closed before. Despite how you’re feeling, a small laugh escapes you at just how in tune to you Loki is. And vice versa. It’s nice. It’s really nice. “Deep breaths… focus on something close to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You close your eyes again, breathing in deeply when Loki tells you to. The scent from his shirt fills your senses, and you let out a small noise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it, sweetheart?” Loki asks, concern returning to his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, I’m just,” your cheeks begin to burn. “I’m wearing your shirt. It’s um, between that and you talking, it’s almost like you’re here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to be there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sigh. “I know you can’t be,” you say truthfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” you bet Loki is nodding right now. “What if I was there? How could I help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You ponder that. If Loki was actually with you… You would bury your face in the crook of his shoulder. Maybe it’s better he’s just on the phone. You don’t have to hide as much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it would be nice to have him here. Feel something solid and tangible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Touch me,” you say, and instantly regret it. It sounds so lewd, which isn’t how you mean it. Not necessarily. “I just mean… rub my back, or my head. S-Something like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Loki breathes. “I’d be more than happy to do it. Especially if that means I would get to see your room again. I haven’t forgotten that decor.” Loki’s light joke makes your lips curl up in a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” you say softly, not meaning it at all. Loki chuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m thrilled to be with you no matter where we are - I think I’ve proved that. I’m always focused on you anyway. You’re so warm and receptive. And you seem to be making a habit of stealing my shirts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s right. This is the third item of clothing you’ve borrowed from the man. He really oughta set up some rules about that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind, of course. I like seeing you in them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” you mean it. You start to fiddle with the hem of the dress shirt. Something stirs deep in the pit of your stomach at Loki’s words. “I can take it off too, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is quiet for a few moments before asking, “What do you need right now, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sniff, feeling your emotions well up again. So many things are happening inside you, and if you could get even one of them out, you would feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Maybe even good enough to go to sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just need to feel good,” you say, your voice thick. There. Now Loki could take that however he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Loki says. “Well… take it off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your breath hitches, and you listen, carefully unbuttoning the shirt. Your fingers lightly brush the skin of your tummy, the curve of your breast as you do. You start to feel something stir deep inside you, and it makes you relieved. If you could just focus on yourself physically, you could get out of your head and away from all these intrusive thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You pull the shirt down your shoulders. Normally, you would just throw it to the side, but it’s not yours, so you carefully fold it and put it on the bed next to you. You shiver. You’re still cold from the shower, and with the cold air hitting your damp skin, your nipples slowly begin to peak. You place the phone between your breasts again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Done,” you tell him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Loki says. “Are you relaxed, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You ponder his question before answering. “I think so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” Loki says, and he sounds it. “Why don’t you run your hands down your body, hmm? Start at your belly. Do it slowly,” he adds. “And tell me what it would be like if I was the one touching you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a light sigh. You trail your hands over your stomach, feeling the invisible hairs there rise at the sensation. It feels nice. Soothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If it was Loki touching you, it would feel similar, but more exciting. The second Loki touched you - the second he laid eyes on your exposed body - you would feel anticipation build in your stomach, heat pool between your legs. Your back would arch on its own volitation, betraying your mind and showing Loki how desperate you really were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not desperate,” Loki tells you. “You’re just reacting. It’s perfectly normal. And enticing to watch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small moan escapes your parted lips, causing Loki to grunt on his side of the line. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep going,” he says. “Up and down. Where do you need the pressure? Where would you want to feel me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-” you feel your face start to burn. “I like you anywhere. But,” you clear your throat. “You always seem to start with my chest.” You move your hands up, gently squeezing at your breasts. “I think it’s because you like to be touched there, and everyone tends to do what they like.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Loki says. “Be gentle with yourself. I would take it slow tonight, make sure you’re comfortable. Give you time to put a stop to it, if that’s what you needed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always do that,” your voice is so soft. It doesn’t need to be loud with your phone right there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true,” Loki admits. “Still. I would pay even more attention. I want you to feel better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I needed more?” You suddenly ask. “What if… What if I didn’t want you to be gentle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want it rough right now?” Loki’s response is instant, almost surprising you. You gulp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” you admit. You start to feel tears well up in your eyes </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and you don’t know why. Why couldn’t you just get a fucking grip? “But I might. Sometime.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lets out a small laugh, and it makes your heart skip a beat. If you were with him, you would feel the rush of air, or maybe even catch the sound in your mouth. “Smart girl. Always thinking about the future.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say with a bitter laugh. “What else is there? What do I have right now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you,” you whisper. “I want you so bad, Loki, and sometimes I need you and I just-” you’re crying again, tears pooling in the hollow of your throat. “It feels wrong, because I shouldn’t need anyone, and I should be mad at you for keeping Narvi a secret from me and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can be mad at me.” Loki interrupts you. “And you don’t need my permission, but you can be mad. It’s understandable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just,” you feel so exhausted. You can’t finish your sentence. There’s no way to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course you’re upset, but not in a way that would lead anywhere. You didn’t want an apology, because that wasn’t going to do anything. The only thing you want is to know Loki won’t keep anything from you again, and he already told you he wouldn’t. You believed him. Wholeheartedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It came down to the timing being off. The emotions you felt from that day’s discussion in class, your argument with Natahsa, finding out about Narvi. It was too much for you to handle all once. You couldn’t fully come to terms with any one of those things when the others were looming over your head. And now you were here, overwhelmed and bouncing back and forth between crying and turned on and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to focus,” you tell Loki. Your hand is moving down, towards your hips. You let it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Loki’s voice seems to drop. You quickly wipe the tears off your face, and it makes you think about how as much as you want Loki here, it’s a good thing he isn’t. This would be too much. “Are you wet, sweetheart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinking the last few drops of sadness in your eyes away, you trail your fingers over your lips, feeling your warm arousal. There’s not much, but it’s there. “Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” Loki says. “I’m always shocked at how much you glisten for me,” you squirm, beginning to flutter. “I’m sure you’re sensitive right now. We can work with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about that last sentence makes you light-headed, and your breath hitches. Loki chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I say something you liked?” He asks, though it’s not really a question. He knows. “Tell me what you’re doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing yet,” you say. This is supposed to make up for Loki not being here, so you’re waiting for his instructions. You want him to take charge like he always does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” Loki thinks out loud. “I want you to brush a finger over your slit. Let me know how it feels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, you part your lips, cringing at the wet sound that fills your ears. If Loki notices, he doesn’t say anything. You slide a finger up your slit like Loki asks, gasping slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels - nice.” Your eyes flutter shut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it again.” Loki commands, so you do, your toes clenching. Your cunt is hot and sticky, tensing as you work up and closer to your clit. You jerk your hand away before you can touch it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, um, what are you doing?” You ask. You think Loki smiles as he begins to tell you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sitting on the couch. I’ve just finished a drink,” you sigh, wondering what it was. Tonight, would Loki’s kisses taste like whiskey or bourbon? Or something else? You reach back up, massaging one of your breasts. You use your own slick to circle and press against your nipple as Loki continues. “It’s dark, the only light is from my phone. I’m just holding myself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you hard?” You ask, sounding a little too insecure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am now.”</span>
  <span>“Fuck,” you push down your nipple, letting pleasure begin to fill your senses. You picture Loki alone in the dark, touching himself because of you. You clench your legs together, then let them fall back open. Your free hand goes to tease your entrance before you slide it in, furrowing your brow slightly at the intrusion. You let out a moan, biting your lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you’re doing,” Loki demands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just, I only put one finger in.” You push it in deeper, contemplating adding another. You decide to, sighing at the relief it gives you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet you wish it were mine, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm hmmm,” you nod, almost miserably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go deeper. Find that spot that makes you scream.” Loki’s sentences are shorter now, more abrupt, and his breath is beginning to sound strained like yours. You begin to feel a bit prideful again, confidence slowly returning as you listen to Loki while reaching further inside yourself. “You would be there by now if I was there. I know your pussy better than anyone. Even you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a small cry at the show of dominance, because Loki’s right, and the knowledge sends waves of heat throughout your body. You curl your fingers, hips bucking off the mattress as you chase the feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Touch your clit too,” Loki coos, so you bring your thumb up to brush the ball of nerves. “Let me hear you. Don’t hide one sound from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let your mouth fall open as you try to touch your clit the way Loki does - harsh circles with a pressure that makes pleasure shoot throughout your body. You’re so swollen with arousal now, the desire - and need - to orgasm becoming more and more obvious. You’re spurred on when you hear the sound of skin slapping over the phone, reassuring you that Loki is also getting something out of this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You push your fingers as deep as you can and finally find your g-spot, letting out a cry when you do. Loki’s right, you are more sensitive right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feels so good,” you say between breaths. You keep circling your clit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me what you’re thinking of, sweetheart,” Loki commands. “What are you imagining while you’re touching </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> sweet cunt?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You whimper, rubbing against your g-spot. Your stomach jumps as heat flares up within it. The way Loki claimed you, labelled the most intimate part of yourself as his, makes you melt. It’s possessive and feral and maybe it’s demeaning, but it makes you dizzy and you </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were in power and control in every other aspect of your life. It could feel like a burden, to always be in that role. To overthink every little thing, let no details go unnoticed when it would probably be better if they were. You were tired, all the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To have this, to give a part of yourself up and let someone else know and care for you… it was intoxicating. You could get drunk on it, the level of trust this required, the physical reward it brought you. You wanted Loki to own your body and know your mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the fact Loki wanted to care for you… it was hard for you to let your guard down like this, but it worked. When it was you and Loki, it worked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m thinking of you,” you whisper. Loki hums in satisfaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what about me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You bite your lip, slipping your eyes closed as your back arches off your bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The classroom. After… Nat and I had our fight,” it’s only a week ago that everything happened, yet it somehow feels like yesterday and years ago all at once. “I’m thinking about how you fucked me. I needed it so much.” You were so hurt, shocked at what happened with Nat. You were upset at her, even now, but you missed her. You missed her the moment she walked away. “Kind of like how I need you now. But I’m less… less angry.” Loki growls, and you wish you were there to feel it rumble in his chest. You close your eyes, listening to Loki pant. You imagine his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly. If you could, you would scrape your teeth against it. “It was so good, Loki, you made me feel so good. And we didn’t,” you bite your lip, wondering if you should say what you’re planning to. You decide to keep going, “we didn’t have a condom and when you came… you were so deep, Loki, and there was so much. I felt all of it and you were so </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki had painted your walls with his release, and you remember clenching around him and nothing else. He was so far inside you, thrusting hard but still managing to smooth the lines of worry from your face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My dried cum was on your legs that night.” Loki sounds wild. The muscles in your stomach begin to clench, and you know you’re nearing the edge. “Sweet girl, you couldn’t keep it all inside you.” You whimper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki, I can’t,” you’re aching for him. “I can’t do this without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you can,” he replies, earnesty seeping through his tone. “I know you miss my hands, but you’ll be fine for night. Just keep going…” Loki keeps talking, drowning out your insecurities. Filthy words begin to pour from his mouth, going directly to your core and making your thighs shake. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Keep going. Your fingers are all the way in, right? Keep them there. Don’t stop.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re so hungry for this, aren’t you? I’m sure you wish it were my cock. I bet you miss it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t forget about your clit. You can do it, good girl, you can. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Get yourself right to the edge.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am!” You exclaim, feeling your cunt contract around your fingers. “Loki, I’m so close, I’m so close, I’m going to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just let go, sweetheart, let it all go.” Loki says, and that’s all it takes. It feels like something breaks inside you. You feel like every single nerve in your body is on fire, culminating in the pit of your stomach and your core. You clench the covers with one hand as you cover the other one in your own release. There’s nothing, no coherent thoughts in your head as you sob Loki’s name over and over again. The vibrations claim your body, aftershocks running through you and keeping your mind in that hazy state. Eventually, it clears enough for you to hear Loki stifle a moan and then call your name as he cums soon after you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You instantly feel tired, working your drenched fingers out of your pussy as your breathing slows down again. You’re nestling deeper in the pillows when -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One more thing.” You hear from the phone. You open your eyes blearily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” you say. There’s a small smile on your lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your fingers.” Loki says. “I want you to suck on them. Clean yourself up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I,” you shiver at the request. Tasting yourself on Loki lips or fingers seemed like one thing, but this…  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me how you taste, sweetheart. I can’t be there to have you on my tongue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That does something to you, the thought of Loki being so desperate to taste you he asks you to describe yourself to him. Slowly, you bring your wet fingers to your mouth, resting them on your tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your body… it rings with satisfaction as the taste pools on your tastebuds. It’s like when Loki kisses you after going down on you, but stronger. Your mouth is warm, enveloping your now cool fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Describe it to me, sweetheart, don’t be coy.” Loki reminds you, and you swallow, drawing your away fingers again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” you tell him. “Sweet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not enough,” he says, practically offended, but you’re already pulling the covers over yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” you tell him. “Get over here next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lets out a huff, and you laugh softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” you say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” You tell Loki. He sighs affectionately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey y'all!</p><p>I saw this fic is at about 900 kudos- THANK YOU SO MUCH!! That blows my mind and makes me so so happy, you have no idea.</p><p>I hope you like this chapter. I spent a lot of time on it, and I'm really working on making chapters longer and smut scenes... better. I would really love to hear what you think. Your comments keep me going :')</p><p>If you're wondering what's in store for next week, get ready for a family dinner. Do with that information what you will (;</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Part XXVI</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you meet Thor and his wife</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey y'all!</p><p>I went back to look over last week's chapter and was DEVASTATED when I realized I didn't mention my beta :(( Go check out @ dilfism!! They're so cool and they have the best Loki multichapter series going on rn and it is so worth a read. </p><p>I also have some (somewhat) sad news. I've decided to switch the update schedule for this fic to every other Thursday. For those of you who don't know, I'm the student body president at my university, and as the school year is coming to an end, I just don't have as much time as I would like to give you all chapters that are high quality, a good length, AND weekly. I was rushing through what would have been next week's update when I realized I would much rather switch to posting on a biweekly basis to ensure I'm putting out the best product and doing the characters + the story I've made for them justice. </p><p>I had enough time to polish this chapter though, and I really hope you like it! There's lots of little details to read into, so keep an eye out ;) I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” Wanda apologizes for the third time. “I just… I didn’t tell anyone on purpose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You give Wanda a knowing look, leaning against your kitchen counter. Her eyes are wide, and she’s biting her lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Wanda.” You tell her truthfully. “I mean, Natasha is my best friend. It makes sense to think she knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” You grab her wrist. “I mean it. There’s nothing wrong.” Wanda sighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she says. She’s not as reassured as you want her to be, but you can tell your words have some impact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, it might have been for the best,” you fill a glass with water, handing it to your friend. “That day, I went to Loki’s house for the first time. It was,” you search for a word, trying not to give away anything Loki wouldn’t want you to. “Intimate. I think we’re closer now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was an understatement. There was so much more trust between you now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You had met Loki’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>son</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p><span>“That’s awesome,” Wanda says, smiling, and you’re struck again by how genuine</span> <span>she is. That was part of the reason you weren’t mad at Wanda: she never had bad intentions. “Do you think you’ll go there again? Do you want to?”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I definitely do,” you answer quickly, a smile forming on your lips. “We’re actually having dinner there tonight. Loki likes to cook for me - something about college students never getting home cooked meals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something passes over Wanda’s face, but you aren’t sure what. In a second, she’s normal again. “He’s not wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” you agree, then sigh. It’s quiet for a few moments. “Hey, how’s it going with Vision?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Wanda’s eyes fly up. She knits her eyebrows. “He, um. We,” she scrunches her nose. “I broke up with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” You exclaim. “Has it been that long since we’ve talked?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Wanda shakes her head. “It’s just… there’s a lot of things. You know, he’s so busy, and I didn’t want to,” she pauses. “I don’t want to be too much for him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something in your heart breaks a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanda,” you cross the room, settling next to her. Your hips brush. “That’s crazy. You’re not too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I know that,” she nods. “It might just be too much right now. Does that make sense?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look at Wanda, her long red hair and kind green eyes. She stands there in her quiet confidence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you say. “I do.” She faces you suddenly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m totally fine.” She tells you. “I kinda like someone else right now anyway. So it’s not as bad as it could be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanda!” You tease, knocking your shoulder against hers. She lets out a laugh. “Who is he?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She, actually.” Wanda tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” You blink. Wanda doesn’t say anything. “C’mon, you can’t stop there,” you say. “Tell me about her! Do I know who she is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to tell you,” Wanda says, the tiniest bit of worry painting her features. “But it’s so early, you know? I don’t want to jinx it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it,” you think about how when you were just his student, you didn’t even want to picture yourself with Loki. At the time, it seemed too cruel to yourself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda gives you a small smile. “Thanks.” You nod. “Alright. What are you wearing to Loki’s?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh gosh,” your face falls. “I have no idea. I’m actually - I’m gonna meet his brother. What do you wear to that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda studies you, eyeing you up and down in concentration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Black.” She proclaims. You stare back at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wanda was always right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki opens the door after your third knock, smiling and letting you in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss. It’s quick, but nice, and he gives your bottom lip a quick nip before he draws away. You smile back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” you let Loki help you take off your coat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was the drive alright?” He asks. Loki places a hand on the small of your back as you walk to the kitchen. You lean into the touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. You know. Good ol’ google maps.” Something that smells amazing fills your nose. “Oh my gosh. What are you making?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki takes a moment to respond, tying his hair into a bun on the top of his head. It makes you stare - you’ve only seen it like this once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing too exciting,” he admits. Loki turns around, stirring something in a pot before covering it with a lid. “Couscous bowls, with cucumber and tomato. And roasted chickpeas.” You glide forward, letting your arms wrap around Loki as you hug him from behind. He’s warm today. You untuck his shirt just enough to slip your hands under it, pressing them against his muscled tummy. Loki hums. “I hope chickpeas are okay. Sometimes meat upsets Narvi’s stomach. I have to make sure he gets enough protein.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something about that makes your heart skip a beat. You smile at this new side of Loki - the caring father. You were still wrapping your head around this, but it helped that Loki seemed to be so </span>
  <em>
    <span>good</span>
  </em>
  <span> at it. You press your forehead between his shoulder blades, letting out a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” you assure him. You stand up on your tiptoes, pressing a kiss to the nape of Loki’s neck. “Super okay.” You let him go, taking a few steps back. Loki faces you again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone will be here in about fifteen minutes.” He tells you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” you nod. “And um, what was Thor’s wife’s name?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jane.” Loki answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jane. Okay.” You bite your lip. Loki walks towards you, taking your chin between his thumb and tilting so your eyes meet his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no need to be nervous.” He murmurs. He kisses you chastely, and your hands come to rest on his hips. “And you don’t have to do this. Say the word, I’ll call it all off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a shaky breath. Loki cups your face, leaning in. His nose brushes your cheekbone, cheek presses against your own, lips drift over your collarbone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” you whisper. “I want to meet them. And if you want me to know someone, I want to know them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You feel Loki shudder against you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need a favor,” he says. You look up at him. A strand of dark hair has come loose, and you twist it around your finger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” You ask, voice soft. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need,” Loki brings your hand to his mouth, lips roaming your palm. Your eyes flutter shut. “...Someone to set the table.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You scoff, but can’t hide your smile. Loki shows you where the dishes are, and you carry various plates and forks to the dining room. You’ve just finished when the front door swings open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You see Narvi run in first, and he’s made it halfway through the entryway before he turns and runs back. You watch confused for a moment, but then he sits down and takes off his shoes. In a flash, he’s up and running to the kitchen again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, little man!” You hear Loki say. You smile in their direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi.” You hear someone say your name. You walk over to the door, doing a double take when you get there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in front of you is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She has mousy brown hair, and she’s wearing a dress with a leather jacket. She holds out her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Jane.” She introduces herself. “How are you? We’ve heard a lot about you.” She glances over her shoulder. “This is Thor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink. Thor is huge - he towers over you. He doesn’t look anything like Loki, which made sense, but he had long hair like your professor did. He kind of smells like Loki too, like pine. It’s stronger on Thor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thor bellows your name, and with no warning, he pulls you into his chest, his powerful hug squeezing the breath out of you. You blink in surprise, and despite your best efforts, you let out a cough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough of that, Thor.” You hear Loki say. You’re released, and Loki wraps an arm around your waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It smells great,” Jane says, walking to the table. Thor follows her. “I’m starving. Narvi’s school is always further away than I think.” The two of them sit down. Loki makes a move to sit with them, but you tug him back before he can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do they know I’m your student?” You ask. You’re gripping his forearm. Loki takes your wrists, placing your hands to his chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he tells you. “They know.” You nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki has somehow managed to get the food on the table in the short time you met Thor and Jane. He sits across from the both, sandwiched between you and Narvi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was school, Narvi?” Loki asks. You see Narvi beam at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good!” He says. “We read another</span>
  <em>
    <span> Magic Treehouse</span>
  </em>
  <span> book. I finished first!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good job!” Loki holds his hand up, and Narvi high fives it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you read a lot, Narvi?” You ask the boy. Narvi nods vigorously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We read together every night.” Loki says. “Don’t we, bud?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Narvi takes a bite of food, and Loki gently reminds him not to talk with his mouth full. He swallows before he looks at you again. “Sometimes we watch tv together too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we’re cutting down the television time, right?” Thor cuts in. “To spend more time outside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi gets plenty of time outside, Thor.” Loki tells his brother wearily. “We live in a forest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly! Away from technology. He’s on a computer enough at school.” Thor looks at you. “I really think there’s getting to be too many electronics. I don’t even own a phone.” Beside him, Jane rolls her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He loves to say that,” she tells you. “But Thor never puts mine down. I swear he does nothing but play Candy Crush when he’s at home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a laugh, and Thor glares at his wife. You’re sort of struck by how familiar they are, with each other, but also the house in general. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you come here a lot?” You ask. Jane nods. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thor takes Narvi to school every morning.” She says. “I come too, if work lets me. One of us always brings him home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” You glance at Thor. “Where do you work?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grins. “The great outdoors!” Loki makes an exasperated noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My brother is a logger,” he says. “He also owns most of this part of the woods.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I built this house.” Thor proudly proclaims. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did?” You ask in surprise, eyes widening. “By yourself? It’s gorgeous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” Thor is grinning. “It was by myself. I started with -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Jane interrupts him. “No. This isn’t about us, come on.” She smiles at you, and you hold back another laugh. “What’s your major? Which class are you taking with Loki?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You shift at the mention of classes, instinctively defensive. Then you relax again. Loki must notice, because he links his ankle around yours under the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m taking his Advanced Representation in Literature class,” you respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good one. Well. From the reading list we’ve seen.” Jane nods, like she approves. You start to smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is. Though, I was a bit worried when we started off the semester with </span>
  <em>
    <span>1984</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Jane laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” she agrees. Loki tuts at you both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Positives are much easier to recognize when they’re amplified by a negative,” Loki says, looking at you seriously. You’re about to respond when Narvi calls for you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your favorite book?” He asks. He looks so excited, leaning towards you as much as he can without falling into Loki’s lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s been ages since you’ve read any children’s books - you can’t think of anything you read recently that would be the best to talk to a six old about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmm,” you say, and Narvi seems to enjoy your show of deep thought. “I don’t know if I have a favorite book. I have favorite types of stories.” You glance at Loki. He’s watching you. “I really like books with magic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too!” Narvi exclaims. “Papa just read one to me. It was about somebody who can… somebody who can...” he pinches his face together in concentration. “Papa, I don’t remember the word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shapeshift,” Loki reminds him, and reaches forward to smooth some of Narvi’s hair away from his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is pretty cool,” you say. “What did they shapeshift into?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A horse!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” you smile. “That’s a good choice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narvi starts to babble about how he would turn into a dragon, and you begin to just listen. You observe the brotherly annoyance shared by Thor and Loki, the playful teasing between Thor and Jane. Everyone at this table is so close, completely accustomed to being around each other. Even if unconventional, this radiates </span>
  <em>
    <span>family</span>
  </em>
  <span> to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You want to lay your head on Loki’s shoulder and bask in it, but you aren’t sure if he would want you to. Instead, you scoot a little closer, pressing your thigh against his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s face crumples a bit when you do, almost like he’s in pain. It worries you for a moment, before Loki takes your hand and kisses it quickly. Then he squeezes it three times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is a little bit in pain, you decide. It’s just not really the bad type. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loki clears his throat, and you look up from the sink where you’re helping Thor with the dishes. He’s standing in the entryway with Narvi, whose hair is wet from the bath he just took. He’s wearing pajamas now, clearly getting ready for bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi has something to ask,” Loki tells you. Narvi steps forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will you make me warm milk again?” He asks shyly. You soften. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my gosh</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” you say, kneeling down so the little boy doesn’t have to crane his neck to see you. “Did you like it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Narvi follows you to the fridge, and you’re relieved he opens it to find the milk. You don’t feel acquainted enough with this house to do something like that. “It helped. I didn’t have nightmares.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s great,” you say, completely honest in your happy tone. You pour the milk into a pan, turning the stove on. You swallow. “You know Narvi, I don’t think you’re going to have any tonight.” Narvi looks at you with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You kneel again, tilting your head and then shrugging your shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes you just know.” You say. You remember when you were little, and everything adults said seemed true. You didn’t know if Narvi would have nightmares tonight, but you did know telling him you didn’t think that he would might help him feel better in the moment. You try to give him that relief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You just know…” Narvi repeats. You suddenly worry you’ve gone too far, and you look helplessly at Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s staring at you, looking transfixed. He doesn’t look mad, or defensive, or anything like that. He just looks…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks enamored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You almost can’t pull your gaze away from him, but then Thor tells you the milk is burning, and you have to. You pour it into a mug and give it to Narvi before saying goodnight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming back?” He asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” Loki answers, before you can even open your mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A certain warmth blooms in your chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen my brother like this in awhile,” Thor says once Loki is out of earshot. You turn to look at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” You ask. Thor smiles sadly, serious for the first time that night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Happy. Aloof, or as aloof as Loki can get,” he lets out a chuckle. “His life changed a lot when he adopted Narvi. Loki is a great father. He loves Narvi.” Thor emphasizes that. “But he doesn’t do much for himself. You give him balance.” He places a heavy hand on your shoulder. “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the moment, you aren’t sure what to do with that information. You just nod. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You,” Loki says after he returns from tucking Narvi in. He’s tugging you against him by the belt loops. “...Didn’t tell me you were good with kids.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hum, wrapping your arms around Loki’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t ever bring it up,” you retort playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh,” Jane says, returning from the bathroom. “She’s got you there, Loki.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pinches you as punishment before letting you go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we’re gonna head out.” Jane tells you, linking one of her arms around Thor’s. “It was nice to meet you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hope to see you again around here,” Thor says, and you know he means it. Jane, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You smile and tell them the same, letting Loki leave to lock the front door behind them. He’s quick to let you fall back into his arms when he returns, burying his nose in your hair. The smell of pine surrounds you, and you think back to what Loki said about Thor being a logger. Now you know why Loki smells the way he does all the time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you doing?” Loki asks. You sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not too bad,” you pull away just enough to look Loki in the eye. “You failed to mention Thor is married to the prettiest person in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he?” Loki looks at you intently, cupping your cheek. You lean into the touch, and Loki kisses the curve of your jaw tenderly. “I didn’t notice.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s this way Loki is looking at you, the way he’s been watching you the whole night. It’s heavy. Like every emotion your professor has ever felt is funneled into these moments when he pays attention to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” you say, because heat is rising to your face and you know exactly what Loki means but not what to say to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like that, Loki turns around, moving towards the sink to finish cleaning up the last few dishes. You blink at the sudden lack of contact, but also take the time to catch your breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” you try to think of something to say. “How long have Thor and Jane been married?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seven years,” Loki answers. “But they knew each other much longer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You mull that over. It made sense then, that they were so… natural together. Thor and Jane were unlike other couples you’d been around, but they were still incredibly domestic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kind of like this whole situation - this whole night. You were in Loki’s kitchen, watching him clean up after a family dinner with his kid sleeping upstairs. This was so intimate, in a way you’d never experienced before. You feel out of place, but you also feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. After all, it was Loki who had approached you with the idea of meeting everyone tonight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He also, when you think about it, started this whole thing. You think back to the night in the bar. Loki didn’t have to stay with you, check in or comfort you afterwards. He could have taken you home, filed some type of care report with the university and left it at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he didn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You know - deep down, you know - Loki cares just as much for you as you do for him. It presents itself in different ways, but right now, you are so sure that the two of you are perfectly matched.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re so deep in thought, you miss Loki’s questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” You ask, shaking your head and snapping yourself out of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked,” he repeats. “Do you want to get married?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You freeze, lips slightly parted as you stare in shock. And then -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh god. He just means in general, not to him. You start to panic a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, um… Someday.” You answer, because it’s safe and non committal and doesn’t really prompt further conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have kids?” Loki continues. You’re sort of surprised by the suddenness of this conversation, but then you realize it’s the opposite. You just spent the night with his family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More than that, you’ve been together for… five months now? Six? That had to be a normal amount of time to talk about these things with your partner, however brief the conversation might be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And maybe he’s just asking questions. Conversing. That did tend to be how interactions work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, it’s a big question. Loki was always teasing you, and you teased him back. That was the safe option, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently I don’t need to,” you joke, referencing Narvi. Loki’s eyes sparkle, and then he’s smiling at you, the corners of his lips curled up almost as much as the ends of his hair. “What?” you ask, a nervous grin spreading over your own face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you just implied you’ll be marrying me, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re freaking out again. Not at the idea of marrying Loki of course - </span>
  <em>
    <span>of course not</span>
  </em>
  <span> - but just at the fact you might have admitted to Loki you’d thought of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Multiple times. One of which was literally two minutes ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But…No. This is Loki. This is your Loki and he’s not waiting for you to slip up and say something dumb, he just wants your honesty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So you don’t act any differently. You bite your lip carefully, taking the plate Loki is drying out of his hands and setting it on the counter behind him. Slowly, you make your way to your knees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imply a lot of things, Loki.” You run your hands up and down Loki’s legs, taking time to knead his inner thighs. You’ve wanted to touch them all night. “You can unpack that later,” you undo his belt, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Right now, I’m going to unpack this.” With that, you tug Loki’s pants down, revealing the bulge of his cock through his boxers. There’s a wet spot already, which makes a wave of pride go straight to your head, and you lean forward to run your tongue over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That… that was a horrible joke.” Loki says. You begin to kiss his cock sweetly, trying to get yourself closer to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That bad?” You ask. Your fingers tease the waistband of Loki’s last layer. “Let me make it up to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki takes your hands in his, guiding them as they slide his last layer down and free him. Loki is getting harder by the second, and his eyes are dark and blown out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re licking your lips, about to lean forward when -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” You ask. “I don’t want… If Narvi comes down…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki looks like he understands, standing up a later straighter, but then he’s running his fingers through your hair and he seems unsure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think,” he says. “I think it’s fine. It’s better. It’s further away, he shouldn’t hear us when from here. But I,” Loki knits his eyebrows. “I haven’t done this here. You’re the first person I’ve been with since I adopted Narvi. This is… new. To me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your stomach jumps and drops all at the same time. You swallow, rubbing a circle over Loki’s hip with your thumb. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your hand drifts down, wrapping around the base of Loki’s cock and giving it a stroke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I trust you,” you tell him, looking up and seeing the sweat forming on Loki’s brow. “Thank you for trusting me with this. With Narvi, and… you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first person Loki had been with since he adopted Narvi… Six years, and no one gave Loki what he needed. And the first person in six years is you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s so much heat and arousal between your legs, and Loki’s vulnerability spurs it on. You’re still holding Loki’s cock, and he’s probably expecting you to put your mouth around it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, you crane your neck, almost uncomfortably so, and run your tongue over the soft skin of his balls. Loki instantly tenses, a cry falling from his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You haven’t heard him make that noise before. You start to lean back, but Loki slips a hand on the back of your neck, anchoring you in place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he bites out. “Stay. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He liked it. You nod slightly, switching to the other one. Your tongue glides over the tender skin easily, and Loki shakes above you. It’s so strong you can feel it in your mouth, and you moan around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You can feel the skin of Loki’s balls tighten, and you give them a break as you lick a stripe up to his head. It’s red and weeping. You lap at the precome that’s spilling over the tip, swallowing it greedily. You catch a glimpse of Loki’s free hand, gripping the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles are white. His eyes are screwed shut and he still keeps you locked in front of him, his legs wide and open for you. You keep going, at this tantalizing speed and being maybe the most gentle and lovely you’ve ever been for Loki. You moan around him, and Loki makes a choking sound. You take him deeper with each bob of your head, feeling him on the back of your throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of your hands moves down, slipping into your pants. You carefully trace your lips, letting your fingers gather up your slick. It brings you some relief, and you let out a shaky breath. You bring the same hand back up to Loki’s cock, letting the warmth make your job easier as you stroke him once more. Again, you duck your head to take his balls back in your mouth, trying to surround Loki with as much of your heat and eagerness as you can. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki clutches your neck, and he’s panting now, the kitchen filled with the sounds of his harsh breaths and your slurping noises. Your tongue is practically attached to the most sensitive skin Loki has, and it’s making the ache between your legs so much more apparent but this still feels good. You can’t help but use your free hand to press against your clit, and you groan with Loki still in your mouth at the relief it gives you, and Loki notices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you touching yourself?” He asks through gritted teeth. You nod, unable to respond in any other way, and Loki’s hips begin to stutter and snap. You’re tracing circles with your tongue, languidly pumping him, and you feel Loki swell and tense -</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then he comes </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the most Loki ever has come from just your hands and mouth, and it takes you both by surprise. He doesn’t give you a warning, you don’t think he could have. He’s shuddering over you and something warm and thick hits your face and you know exactly what it is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki pulls you up and off your knees, messily pressing his lips against yours. Your teeth clash a few times, and you’re so turned on that your cunt </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurts</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but it’s also perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the kiss ends, Loki runs a thumb over your cheekbone, smearing cum in its wake. You take a deep breath, tilting your head and catching his finger in your mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do,” you swallow, “should I go wash my face, or do you want me to eat it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.” Loki curses. He picks you up, and suddenly he’s carrying you to a couch and spreading you across it. “Eat it, sweetheart. Wait for my word.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is sliding your pants and underwear down your thighs, and instead of stripping you of your shirt, he bunches it under your neck so your breasts are exposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wastes no time running his cock between your folds, and you bite down on Loki’s shoulder when his head brushes your clit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to give it to you to cum on.” He says, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Don’t worry about me, focus on yourself.” He’s sliding into you, slowly so you can feel the stretch and once he’s all the way in Loki just stops. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reaches up, gathering some of his release painting your cheeks on his fingers and putting them in your mouth. You suck, feeling a soreness in your throat that’s entirely worth it. When you’re done, Loki uses the newfound slick to rub your clit. You keen instantly, which makes you even more aware of Loki’s stilled length inside you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is sucking on your nipples, feeding you his cum, giving your clit the attention it needs. He’s hard inside you, pulsing and there but he doesn’t move. You squeeze and contract around him, digging your nails so hard into his skin you feel bad, but you can’t stop. It isn’t long before you’re reduced to a writhing mess, and your body doesn’t even know where to focus the pleasure of your release. You feel it everywhere; your cunt, your tummy, your head. Everywhere feels good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki goes limp, laying on you and somehow managing not to squish you with his body weight. You run your fingers up and down his spine, but you don’t say anything. You’re too blissed out, unable to do anything but look up at the ceiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so good,” Loki tells you. “You’re so, so good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let Loki stay buried in the crook of your neck, repeating his sentiments back to him, trying to be more poetic than the mess of thoughts in your head. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gahhhh! I really had a good time writing this chapter, so let me know what you think! There's so much to unpack with every character. Did you like this week's update? Your comments and kudos truly keep me going, so any is appreciated ^.^</p><p>If being anonymous is your preference, remember you can always come say hi to me on tumblr @ lowkeyorloki.</p><p>See you in two weeks &lt;3 :')</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Part XXVII</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which you and Loki take a walk</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone! Long time no see ;)</p><p>I hope everyone is doing well. As usual, s/o to my beta, @dilfism! They are pretty cool &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Loki just won’t stop smiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s practically beaming when you step out of the car. Narvi is at his side, and he looks even tinier when he stands next to his dad. Narvi waves at you as you walk up Loki’s long driveway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi!” The little boy says when you reach them. You laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi Narvi.” He really is the cutest kid. It’s muggy today, and it sprinkled earlier. Narvi is wearing rain boots that look at least two sizes too big. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m good!” He tells you. He kicks at a nearby rock, watching it skid over the pavement until it reaches the forest floor. “Papa was really excited that you were coming. He made me clean my room.” Narvi makes a face. “But you’ve never even seen my room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki clears his throat, laying a hand on Narvi’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, bud.” He says, and you’re pretty sure you detect a hint of embarrassment in his voice. It makes you laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was he excited?” You ask Narvi, but keep your eyes on Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks great. He’s dressed for what you plan on doing today - a hike. Or a nature walk, as Loki later clarified. The woods that surrounded his house (</span>
  <em>
    <span>mansion</span>
  </em>
  <span>) were deep, but it didn’t take much effort to explore them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...Or so Loki tells you. He’s taking you on a path he likes to walk with Narvi, one that leads to a pond. It sounds nice. Anything with Loki does. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. He was.” Narvi says. You blink. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” you kneel, sitting on your knees in front of Narvi. “Can I tell you a secret?” Narvi nods, and you lean to whisper in his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narvi giggles, Loki looks at you both amusedly as you stand back up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We better get going,” he says to you. “Thor is in the house.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come?” Narvi asks excitedly. Loki looks melancholic for a moment, but then he reaches out to ruffle Narvi’s hair, the look is gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not this time bud. You can see her when we get back, okay?” Loki glances at you, wordlessly asking if that was okay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” you agree, smiling at Narvi. He looks disappointed, but then Uncle Thor comes out and he’s happy again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The path Loki takes you on is enchanting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s quiet - the light rain from the drive over had made everything damp. There’s no crunching beneath your feet, the only thing you can hear is various animals and Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Occasionally, the path gets too narrow for you to walk next to each other, and Loki takes the lead. You can’t help but look at his tapered waist when he walks in front of you, and eventually, you reach out to wrap your arms around Loki’s middle and hug him from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lets out a breathy laugh, laying his hands over yours. You stay like that, wrapped around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worry begins to tug at you. Loki wasn’t talking much. He never did, you knew that. But still, this seemed different. You slide up Loki’s back, reaching his shoulders and beginning to knead the muscle. He’s tense, you can feel the stress he’s carrying. It almost hurts you, to know something’s plaguing Loki like this. You brush Loki’s hair to the side, kissing the nape of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” you murmur. “Something’s wrong. Tell me what’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns so he’s facing you. Loki looks in your eyes, cupping your face in his hands. He whispers your name, and suddenly, his head drops so it’s resting on your shoulder. You blink before he draws away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re almost to the water,” he says. “We can talk there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki doesn’t let go of your hand for the rest of the walk. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In his tiny hiker’s backpack, Loki brought a blanket to sit on and a few snacks to eat. He has water bottles too. Reusable. The only time you’ve seen the man use any single use plastics was that night in his office when he ate Pad Thai with you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s still silent, and doesn’t eat anything. It makes you feel kind of weird, because you’re starving and don’t like being the only one eating. Still, you suck it up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s gorgeous out here. The pond sounds beautiful, and there’s a family of ducks swimming across it. You almost toss them a cracker when you remember reading it’s not good for them. You frown. You just want them to have a nice lunch too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki keeps his eyes trained on the animals. You wish he would look at you, or say something. He was so happy when you drove up. You’re not sure what changed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” you say. “What can I do? Tell me how I can help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki lays down, tugging on you to come with him. You do, laying your head on his strong chest. He wraps an arm around your shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi really likes you.” He says. You tense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You don’t really know what to say. Narvi has barely even met you - but what’s worse, you don’t know why Loki says that so sadly. Isn’t… Isn’t it good if he likes you? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck. Did you go too far? You think back to every interaction you’ve had with Narvi. You don’t think you ever overstepped, or filled a role that wasn’t yours to fill. But you’re not a parent like Loki is, so it would make sense for him to notice what you wouldn’t - </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that’s great.” Loki finishes. Oh. You relax a tiny bit. You begin to trace the lines of Loki’s hand, the one resting over your sternum. “It’s amazing. The way seeing you with him makes me feel, I,” Loki clutches you tighter against him, threading his legs through yours. “I can’t even describe it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You like this. You’re still worried, of course, and you’re listening to Loki as intently as you can, but you like this. His body pressed against yours, the ability to freely talk about each other’s problems. It makes you feel warm inside. It’s knowing. You know each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it’s also a reminder that Narvi only has adults in his life.” Loki’s voice gets thicker. “I got a call from his school yesterday. They worry about him.” Loki swallows. “Narvi’s classmates… I know they used to tease him for not having a mother. And to have Thor pick him up some days and me on others… That’s part of the reason we asked Jane to start going with Thor to the school too. One less thing for them to make fun of Narvi for. But,” Loki fingers dig into your shoulder. You try not to flinch. “He’s lonely. He sits alone at lunch, and during recess, and his teachers are worried. It’s,” Loki’s eyes are glassy. “It’s like when I was a child. This is why I adopted him - to make sure this wouldn’t happen, but it’s happening anyway. Like with Laufey -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki, stop.” You sit up, shaking your head. “It’s not like Laufey at all. You gave him a home, Loki, and he’s surrounded with love.” You think of all the encouragement Loki gives his son. The high fives, the bedtime stories, physical touch. You didn’t know Laufey, but from what Loki’s told you, Narvi wouldn’t have been given any of that with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact that Loki feels like he’s no better than his own father… It makes you feel helpless. You feel physically ill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi is one of the happiest kids I’ve ever met. He adores you, Loki, because you’re his father, and you’re so good at it, and,” you take a breath. You’re going to get weepy if you don’t. You begin to rub slow circles on Loki’s stomach. “Narvi is happy here, Loki. And at school… I can’t imagine how it feels to know he’s lonely there. Hearing that it’s like when you were young, I don’t know how… I can’t,” you swallow. Picturing Narvi sitting all alone at the school broke your heart on its own, but imagining a young Loki doing the same, knowing he would go home to be compared to his brother and berated by his father… that smashes it to pieces. You want to go back, be a friend for little Loki when no one else would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That wasn’t possible. You weren’t born until Loki was in at least high school, if not after that. But still. Still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re happy now, right?” You ask. Loki nods slowly. You breathe a sigh of relief. “You have Thor, Jane, Narvi -”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You.” Loki says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out some type of breathy moan. You weren’t going to add your name to that list. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t,” Loki pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want Narvi to have to wait forty years until he finds someone like you. I don’t want that for him.” You don’t say anything. “I just… I don’t know what to do. He’s already gone through so much change in his life, and he’s only six. I can’t have him switch schools again.” Loki gets quiet. “I don’t know what to do.” He repeats. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You tuck Loki’s hair behind his ears, leaning down to kiss his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish we had met earlier.” You tell him. Loki reaches up, rubbing his thumb on the inside of your wrist. Your eyes flutter shut. “What can I do now? How can I make it better now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come back here,” Loki says, pulling you down. Loki shifts so he can spoon you. He pulls you into his chest, slipping his hand under your shirt. Loki breathes out, his breath hitting your neck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, letting the sounds of the chirps and buzzes of the forest surround you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing you can do,” he murmurs. “Nothing you should do. It’s up to me, but I appreciate you listening. I didn’t always have someone willing to do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki has so many walls up. You know that well, you think most people do. The way he’s started to just let them down completely around you is mind boggling and flattering and it makes you light-headed. You don’t respond, instead you just tangle your legs with his and close your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s hand travels up your tummy and stops at your bra. He buries his nose in your neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you take this off?” He asks, and you let out a small laugh. It’s off in a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki doesn’t do much, he just traces the swell of your breasts and hides his face behind you. You let him, breathing evenly. That’s all you can do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s stupid to get like this.” He admits. “To take everything to heart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You turn, your nose bumping Loki’s. You run your finger over the curve of his jaw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not stupid take things to heart,” you tell him, pressing your lips over his chest. “That’s where things are supposed to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re back!” Narvi shouts happily. He comes running, and Loki catches him effortlessly, swinging him in the air before setting him back down. They’re both grinning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey bud,” Loki greets him. “What have you been doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Drawing!” Narvi responds. “I wanted to show you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Narvi takes Loki’s hand, leading him to the smaller table in the kitchen. It’s scattered with paper and colored pencils. Thor is standing at the sink, washing dishes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did he have lunch?” Loki asks his brother. Thor nods. “Thank you,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep!” Thor smiles, then says your name. “Hi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” you wave awkwardly. Thor seems nice, and you like him, but you’re not super sure how to talk to him quite yet. You’re confident you’ll get there though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sit down next to Loki. Narvi is already drawing again, working on some type of flower field.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks great, Narvi.” Loki tells him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmmm.” He says. Loki ruffles his hair. You’re starting to notice he does that a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi, do you have a favorite color?” You ask.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Red.” He tells you instantly. From across the room, Thor lets out a triumphant bellow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ha!” He says, whipping around and pointing a spatula at Loki. It drips dish soap on the floor. “Just like his uncle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki scowls. “Clean that up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thor huffs, but leaves the room, presumably to get cleaning supplies. You snort. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys are funny,” you tell Loki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sure.” He dismisses you, but there’s a smirk forming on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you ever draw?” Narvi pokes his head out from the other side of Loki. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes,” you tell him. You light up. “Can I show you a trick?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Narvi passes you a piece of paper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” you tell him. You grab the light blue pencil. Loki and Narvi watch you intently. “Is there a pencil sharpener?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki hands you one - plastic and dinky and tiny. Perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You sharpen the blue pencil, letting the debris fall on the paper in front of you. When you’re satisfied with the small pile, you set the sharpener and pencil down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look,” you separate the wood shavings from the blue dust. “If you just make sure all the pencil shavings are gone, you can easily make a sky. Or ocean,” you add. You smear the blue around, letting it fill the top half of the paper in light color. “See?” You blow all the excess off. “Easy.” Narvi looks totally transfixed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you see that?” Narvi asks Loki excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did.” Loki confirms. “Pretty cool.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You tilt your head. You’ve never heard Loki say cool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You’re about to say something when Thor walks back in. You settle for squeezing Loki’s hand under the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I show her my other drawings, papa? In my room?” Narvi asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s fine” Loki answers. He stands up to go.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Loki,” Thor says. “The school called,” Loki tenses. Thor’s voice lowers. “It’s just about bills. No need to worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Loki looks at you. “I’ll meet you up there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” You look at Narvi, waiting excitedly at the stairs. You nod. “Yeah. Sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narvi’s room is big for a kid’s, and it’s filled with fun rugs, legos, and school supplies. His twin bed has sheets with planets and rocket ships on it. Narvi gives you a short tour, showing you his favorite stuffed animal and lego set before leading you to his desk. There’s every type of art supply you can think of there: painting sets, gel pens, crayons. All around his desk, there’s pictures hung up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi, these are amazing,” you say, looking at all his drawings. You see one taped next to his bed of a horse. You smile. “Is that from the book you were telling me about? With the shapeshifter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Narvi says excitedly. “You remember.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You blink. “Of course.” Narvi watches you. “Do you have any other drawings you can show me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narvi beams, walking to his bed and reaching underneath it. He pulls out a folder, then sits down. He gestures for you to come over. You do, sitting next to him with your back against his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I draw a lot at school,” he tells you. “I like to draw… trees and animals. Not people really.” You laugh a little bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s perfectly fine,” you tell him. Narvi begins to show you pictures of flowers and pine trees. “I like the crayons.” You tell him, looking at a particularly bright drawing of the sun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too. But I break them a lot,” Narvi frowns. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww. I bet I would too - Look how much bigger my hands are then yours,” you hold them up to demonstrate. Narvi laughs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true,” he says, turning his attention back to the folder. He flips through loose pages, but one of them catches your eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this one?” You ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Narvi says. “That’s just me at school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You inspect the picture closer. You can tell it’s supposed to be Narvi by the brown hair. He’s sitting at a table alone, with other kids milling around him. You glance at Narvi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you I don’t like to draw people.” He says. He starts to look upset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did. You’re absolutely right.” Your face starts to heat up. You want to comfort the little boy, but you’re not exactly sure how. “Do you want to show me something else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess,” Narvi doesn’t move. You look at your lap. “I don’t have any friends. Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You inhale sharply. Narvi is looking at you with wide eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not many,” you tell him, thinking of Wanda and Natasha. “Just three, like you. You have Jane, Thor, and your dad. I have a friend named Wanda, and Natasha.” You smile slightly. “I have your dad, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not friends with Thor. He’s my uncle,” Narvi says. You laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” you admit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Papa is, though. He’s my best friend.” Narvi tells you. He yawns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” you nod. You think back to what Loki said earlier. The look on Narvi’s face… it’s hard to see. You swallow. “Narvi, I know it can be hard not to talk to many people. But I think having just one friend who’s the best you could ever ask for is even better than having all the friends in the world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Narvi agrees. “That’s papa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your heart is melting. You’re not sure if you’ve ever seen such an affectionate father and son - maybe the shock of Loki being a father is part of why this seems so profound, but either way, you feel incredibly lucky to know Loki and Narvi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You think of the little information about Laufey that Loki has given you, and even less about Odin. There was no way to know for sure, but it seemed like Loki was doing everything he could to make sure he wasn’t like them. And Loki wasn’t. He could never be. You want to tell him that, but you’re not sure if it’s your place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Narvi?” You ask, breaking yourself out of your thoughts. His little head is propped against your shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s asleep</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you realize. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You have no clue what to do. You don’t want to wake him up, you figure any kid falling asleep at 3pm probably needs it. You reach forward, taking the folder of drawings out of his hands and sliding it back under the bed. You make a very feeble attempt to turn off the light by throwing a receipt you find in your pocket at the light switch, but it doesn’t work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You hope you haven’t disturbed Narvi. With nothing else to do, you lean your head back and let him sleep, waiting for Thor or Loki to find you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know what to do,” you whisper to Loki once he shuts Narvi’s bedroom door. “It’s like when a pet falls asleep on you, but times like, a billion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki chuckles, placing a hand on the small of your back as you walk down the hallway. “Hey,” he says, stopping you before you can go down the stairs. “You’re amazing.” He tells you, cupping your cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You let out a breathy laugh, leaning into the touch. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m serious,” he tells you. “You’re astounding. Astonishing. I’m an English professor sweetheart, I can go on for days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” you say, taking the challenge. “Then I get to tell you this: you’re the best father anyone could ask for. Especially Narvi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki’s face falls, and while he doesn’t move away, his touch becomes lighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I do. Loki.” You don’t get to finish your sentence. Loki pulls you forward, and you fall into him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wraps his arms around your waist, pressing his nose into the junction of your neck and shoulders. He lets out a huge sigh, holding you tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Loki is warm today. He surrounds you, taking over all your senses. You hold him around the shoulders. When he’s hunched over like this, you can kiss him easily on the temple, so you do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t lied to you before, have I Laufeyson?” You breathe. You cradle the back of Loki's head, scratching his scalp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he admits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” you tell him quietly. “And I’m not going to start now.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Narvi :')</p><p>Hope you all liked this more domestic/intimate chapter. For those of you missing the smut, fear not! There will be lots next chapter - AND it'll be in Professor Laufeyson's office. For old times' sake. </p><p>Remember, we're now updating every OTHER Thursday. Once again, thank you all for being so awesome about that! It helped a lot in terms of my workload. </p><p>Don't forget to tell me what you think in the comments! I literally can't tell you how much that helps me. You're also free to send me an ask (anonymous or not) on my tumblr, @lowkeyorloki </p><p>Thank you all so much! See ya in a couple weeks &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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